


To Thaw a Frozen Heart

by Darling_Rebel



Category: Avengers, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Drama, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Other, Reader Has Powers, Reader Insert, Reader-Insert, Romance, Self Insert, Self-Insert, Slow Build, Suspence, and is kinda a low key jerk, au where pietro lives, bc of this she also suffers from anxiety, first submission!!, haha - Freeform, light mention of anxiety, loki is always kinda of an avenger, loki the low key jerk, mama natasha, not really he just kinda follows his brother, please read safely, post AOU, rated m just to be sure, reader has ice powers, said mainly by tony, slight language warning, so i went ahead and rated it m, some suggestive theme, there will be some fighting and violence in future chapters, tw: anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-15 08:32:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 44,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4599963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darling_Rebel/pseuds/Darling_Rebel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If ice can soothe burns then you’ve come to the right place. My heart is the coldest thing you’ll find.<br/>—  I am an Ice Queen</p><p>Because you are unable to control your powers, you have exiled yourself from society to keep the world safe. For centuries you have lived in peace where no one can find you. Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever. HYDRA has found you and wants you as their mindless weapon but the Avengers find you before the demented organization can kidnap you and promise to keep you safe; but not all promises can be kept.<br/>You are your own worst enemy and adjusting to the modern world while learning to control your ice powers isn't easy; but with the help of a certain ex-assassin, maybe things won't be as bad as you originally thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Opening Hymn (Prologue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Like I said, she has done a damn good job staying off the radar and out of sight, but unfortunately for her, it's impossible to stay hidden forever."

 

 _"And she sang the hymn:_  
' _The rose in the valley is blooming so sweet,_  
_And angels descend there the children to greet.'"_

 _-Hans Christian Anderesen, 'The Snow Queen'_

 

~ 

 

     The manila folder hit the table with a small slap that echoed throughout the eerily silent conference room. When earth's mightiest heroes had been called to a sudden meeting, no one knew what could have caused their usually nonchalant director to gather the team with such urgency. But with the thin folder now lying untouched at the center of the table, the answer was now obvious; someone had caught SHIELD's attention.

     America's favorite hero reached out for the folder and opened it. There were a few pieces of papers containing various types of information along with a photograph of a young woman. Steve gingerly grabbed the photo to examine it closer. It was a low quality picture, probably taken by a low tech security camera, but the picture was clear enough to capture her physical appearance. She had (h/l) (h/c) hair, shining (e/c) eyes, and was smiling brightly at a cashier. Steve wondered why a pretty girl like her had caught their stoic leader's attention. He set the photo down to read the information on the paper.

 

 **First Name: Unknown**  
 **Middle Name: Lark**  
 **Last Name: Unknown**  
 **Known Aliases: Wren, Avis, Robin, Sirena, Raven**  
 **DOB: Unknown**  
 **Age: Unknown**  
 **Place of Birth: Unknown**  
 **Hair Color: (h/c)**  
 **Eye Color: (e/c)**  
 **Blood Type: Unknown**  
 **Ethnicity: (y/e)**  
 **Height: (y/h)**  
 **Weight: (y/w)**  
 **Last Seen: Tomsk, Russia**  
 **Special abilities: Cryokinesis and Frigokinesis (Ice Manipulation)**     Steve's eyes widened at the last line. The twenty first century never ceased to surprise him, after all, the god of thunder, a woman who could read minds, Tony's former computer thing now in human form, and a man who turned into a giant green monster when angry were all in the same room as him. Then again, he himself was a super soldier. This century had surprises around every corner. His thoughts came to a halt when he heard Fury chuckle.

     "I gotta hand it to this girl, she's damn good at staying off the radar. It's been years since she's been seen and her exact location at the moment is still unknown."

    "How long has SHIELD known about her?" Natasha asked after reading the girl's information, her gaze lingered on the photo before passing it to Tony.

     "Long enough to know she exists but not long enough to know anything else," Fury answered solemnly.

     He observed each Avenger's expression as they read the file; some shocked, some confused, some too hard to read. He waited till the file had been passed around and read by every Avenger before answering the one question everyone in the room was thinking; _'Why are you showing us this?'_

     "We're going to recruit her and make her part of the team."

     Fury's statement immediately ensnared everyone's attention.

     "As many of you may remember we almost had our asses beat by Ultron and his army. There was barely enough of us to fight against his forces, and yes, there are few new members of the team, but its still not enough. If something like that happens again-which it probably will-we're going to need all the help we can get," Fury explained then examined the reactions of everyone in the room; some agreed, some were hesitant, some were too hard to read. He waited a moment to the information sink in before continuing.

     "Although not much is known about her, we do know she has the power to control ice. She may have other powers, but the ice manipulation ability alone is enough to make her an invaluable member of our team. She would be a powerful ally, or a horrific enemy."

     Everyone in the room immediately turned their attention towards Fury, silently demanding him to continue, but they were able to take the hint and the atmosphere in the room stiffened.

     "Hydra has caught her scent," Fury's words rang through the room.

     Steve drew in a sharp breath, Bruce shifted uncomfortably in his chair, Pietro and Wanda glanced at each other and shared a look of uneasiness, Tony's usually playful and sarcastic self disappeared as he realized the severity of the matter at hand while Natasha gazed at the picture of the young woman. The girl looked so young and full of life, smiling brightly as if there was nothing in this world to fear, should Hydra get their blood stained hands on her...

     "You claim the girl has the power to command ice, what proof do you possess that she is not a Jötnar?" Thor's deep voice broke the silence and drew everyone from thier train of thought.

     Fury shot a glance at Thor, "I don't think tha-"

     "She is not a Jötnar," a voice spoke, all eyes turning to him. 

     "How are you certain of this Loki?" Thor turned to ask his brother.

     The god of mischief leaned back into his chair, crossed his arms over his chest and gave his brother a deadpan look. Realization dawned on Thor causing him to turn to the director -who was a bit annoyed of having been interrupted by his brother- and asked him to continue.

     "As I was saying, she has done a damn good job of staying off the radar and out of sight, but unfortunately for her, it's impossible to stay hidden forever. She was last seen in Tomsk, Russia heading east, probably going deeper into the tundra of Siberia. Unfortunately, that information is outdated, we haven't been able to come close to finding her relative location, until now."

     "We have a lead," Fury chuckled, then added, "Well, its more of a stupid ass guess, but it's somethin'," Fury pulled out a map with words and coordinates written all over in black ink. Everyone leaned in to take in the information on the map.

     "Satellites show an abnormal amount of snow and drastic temperature drops in the area of the Khamar-Daban mountain range near Baikal Mountains in Siberia, Russia at the Lake Baika. Since she has the power to control ice, it's safe to assume that she is here," the director placed his finger on the red circle on the map.

     "Makes sense, the area's completely cut off from society, only a few hikers go there during the warmer part of the year. But she's probably aware of that and stays somewhere completely out of sight. She's smart, I'll give her that," Fury stated with a smirk.

     "When do we leave?" Clint asked. Fury shook his head.

     "Not all of you are going. This girl probably hasn't socialized or had any contact with people in a long time, if all of you go she will perceive it as a threat and things will probably go down hill from there considering she has the upper hand in that kind of environment. I have already picked a few of you to go get her," Fury stated.

     "Cap, you'll be going because you're able to keep a cool head in extreme situations and can reason with people; Sam will be going in case air support is needed, and Natasha will be going because, well, you're a woman and she's more than likely to be calmer if you're there," Fury finished. The Black Widow flashed one of her rare smiles, then looked down at the picture of the girl one last time before sliding it back to Fury and getting up with Steve and Sam to leave.

     "One last thing," the man in black warned, all eyes turned to him.

     "The changes in the weather haven't been consistent, one day everything's fine, the next it's a frozen hell. It can be assumed she doesn't have complete control over her powers or her powers are tied to her emotions. Maybe it's both. Point is, handle her with caution. Be careful not to ruffle her feathers," he warned, his monotone voice laced with heedfulness. Steve, Sam and Natasha glanced at each other, all three knowing they had to be delicate with the young woman.

     "I get it, it's because all her aliases are different types of birds," Clint remarked humorously as he looked over the girl's file again. Natasha was about to respond with a wisecrack joke about him being 'the birdman' but she saw the picture of the smiling girl again and said nothing. A strange wave of determination flooded her, all other emotions leaving her.

 

  ' _I'll never let Hydra take her, not while I'm around.'_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! (ﾉ∀`♥)  
> This is my first submission so I'm sorry if anything is a bit off!  
> I'm open to constructive criticism, please let me know what you thought!
> 
> In regards to the chapter:  
> (First of all thank you so much for reading!!♥♥)  
> -This is set after the events of Age of Ultron, Bruce is still with the Avengers, SHIELD is still in one piece, Pietro is alive, and Loki is in this series  
> -Natasha doesn't have a love interest in this series bc she is a strong independent woman who doesn't need a man she's too perf no living man is worthy of her  
> -Your middle name is Lark, you will not be addressed as this in future chapters, but the name Lark will play a small role in future chapters  
> -Did I spell Jötnar right? There were so many different ways to spell it so I went with the one that was said in Thor  
> -Mama Bear Natasha is my weakness  
> -I love birds  
> I can't guarantee publishing a new chapter every week bc my classes start soon but I will defiantly post when I can!!  
> Thank you for reading!!♥♥


	2. Pleasantly Unexpected Guests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You didn't have much contact with the outside world and liked it that way.

 

_“Her hair is full of icy wind and daylight._

_She is every princess, every queen, in the history book.”_

_― Lauren DeStefano, Perfect Ruin _

 

 

_~_

 

  
_You had learned at a young age that the sun was either a curse or a blessing._

     There were times the accursed star stung your skin and made your head throb. There were other times where the sun sapped your strength and left you with a terrible fever, but this morning was different. Luckily, this morning the sun was gentle as it peppered your face with kisses of light through your half drawn cotton curtains. You pulled your quilts closer to your body and the soft material caressed your skin in the most wonderful way possible. You slowly drew in a breath and inhaled the warm smell of cinnamon that filled your home as you listened to the wind chimes outside sing in the gentle breeze. You had been awake for a while, but chose to remain in bed. You wanted nothing more than to relax and enjoy the peace and serenity of everything around you.

     You loved it here. You loved everything about your current life. The temperature of the forest and the proud, mighty trees were perfect. The constant presence of snow and the gentle wind that blew through the land was perfect. The animals were kind and curious and perfect, the peace and harmony that surrounded you was perfect  _Everything_ was per-

     You peace was abruptly shattered when three harsh  _ **KNOCK**_  's boomed through your small home.

    Your eyes shot open and annoyance filled you to the core. You yanked your quilts off of your body and hauled yourself out of bed. The knocking abruptly penetrated the serenity of your home yet again which made your anger boil.

     "BEATRICE!!" you roared as you stomped down the stairs. Your agitation was made obvious as your feet pounded against the floor and you made your way to the door.

     "I hate you so much right now Beatrice not everyone likes being up this early I can't believe you sometimes you shitty little bluebir-" your yelling came to a halt when you swung the front door open and instead of a pesky bluebird, you came face to face with three people, two men and one woman.

     Your eyes widened as panic flooded your senses which made you slam the door in their faces before they could even speak. You threw your back against the door and your heart threw itself against your rib cage. A small groan drew you out of your hysteria, you turned your head to the source of the sound and you looked down. A foot had been caught in your doorway when you had slammed it shut. You had never had visitors, and it was rare you ever came in contact with humans, but you had manners, which led you to open the door enough so that the owner of the battered foot could remove it from its captivity. You heard a small _'thank you'_ from the opposite side of the door. You felt more curious than cautious which led you to open the door slightly, just enough to peek at your visitors.

     "I'm not interested in anything you're selling," you muttered loud enough for them to hear. You heard a muffled laughter followed by an _'ow'_.

     "Ma'am I can assure you, we aren't here to sell you anything," a man's voice claimed.

     You could hear his smile and decided to open the door a bit more. Just enough for you to be face to face with them while still having an iron grip on the door in case they turned out to be unpleasant company. The trios eyes widened when they saw you. They had been expecting a disheveled and hostile creature living in a cave but it was a very pleasant surprise to find a pretty girl (the old photo didn't do you justice) living in a cute little cottage. Your face flushed a slight shade of pink and you immediately felt self conscious as they openly stared at you. The embarrassment caused you to glance down for a moment, but you looked back at them to take in their appearances. All three wore heavy coats but they each had distinctly unique outfits.

     The first man looked at you with calm, tranquil blue eyes and was...well...colorful, to say the least. His tight suit was colored in red, white, and blue with a white star on his chest. He wore a blue helmet with an 'A' in between his eyebrows which was...strange, but you respected all forms of fashion and never judged someone by what they chose to wear.

     The second man seemed a bit more approachable and friendly as he gave you a small smile. The man had a small amount of facial hair and wore an all black suit with a strange backpack. You could only see the straps and not the actual bag which made you wonder why he was he carrying a backpack. What was in the backpack...? Snacks maybe? (That's what you would carry.)

     Your eyes fell upon the last member of the unexpected party; the only woman. Your eyes widened at the sight of her, she was beautiful, and you began to feel self conscience about your own bedraggled appearance and old white nightgown. Her scarlet hair was styled into a vintage look and she wore a tight black body suit with a belt around her waist that had a red hourglass on the buckle. Lastly, you gazed into her bright emerald eyes and saw everything she had yet to verbally convey. Comfort, determination, kindness, compassion, protection...maternal? For some bizarre reason, you felt safe around this woman, and knew that she would never harm you, it was because of her you opened the door all the way. Your eyes glanced over the party one more time, then your gaze fell to the wooden floor as you opened the door all the way.

     "W-Would you like to come in?" you bashfully asked. The trio smiled at you and gratefully entered your home (overjoyed to be out of the cold), each muttering a _'thank you'_ as they passed through the threshold. You closed the door after they all had entered and turned around to face them. Their eyes roamed over the high ceiling and every detail of your home as well as the animals that were inside.

_'What do I do now...?'  y_ ou asked yourself as you mentally let out a frustrated sigh. You quietly watched them wander around your home.

     You felt awkward standing there while your unexpected guests wander around your home, so you pushed yourself off the door and walked towards the kitchen. Some animals trailed closely behind you as you entered the kitchen and made your guests some refreshments. After you had finished, you took all the drinks and plate of pastries to the small coffee table.

 

     You cleared your throat which grabbed their attention. "I... uh, would you... um..." you stuttered nervously while fiddling with the hem of your nightgown.

     Luckily they took the hint and sat down on the couch that was near the coffee table. You seated yourself in a rocking chair as they examined what was laid before them. They had expected many things (which were all disastrous). When Fury had described you they had expected a disheveled hermit living in a cave, not a cute girl living in a well kept cottage who would offer them hot coco and pastries. But they gratefully accepted what you had offered, as they drank the hot coco and munched on the pastries. The mission wasn't suppose to take this long, but they knew they had to be delicate with you. To do things slowly, and be very careful not to overwhelm or scare you.

     _'What are you doing (Y/N)? You don't know these people, they could be here to hurt you! Or worse...'_   you bit your bottom lip then felt anxiety build up in the center of your chest and felt it course through your body.

     The change in your mood caused the temperature of the house to drop and a small amount of ice to form where your feet touched the floor. The small group of Avengers immediately noticed this and you were pulled out of your thoughts when you heard the man in the colorful suit address you.

     "I'm sorry for not introducing myself ma'am, Steve Rogers." he held out his hand for you to shake it and you flinched, the ice at your feet covered more of the floor.

     Steve casually retracted his hand and made a mental note not to touch you. He pretended not to notice the ice forming beneath your feet as he introduced the rest of his team. Sam Wilson tipped his head and offered a big toothy smile when he was introduced and Natasha Romanoff 's eyes softened and she gently smiled when she was introduced. Natasha leaned forward and asked you for your name, and without a second thought, you told her your real name.

  
_'This woman will never harm me'_  

  
     The thought left your mind as soon as it came and Steve continued, "I'm so sorry for intruding like this Miss (Y/N) but we're here on a very important matter." 

     "We're here representing a team called the Avengers, which I'm sure you've heard of."

     You shook your head, you didn't have much contact with the outside world and liked it that way. Steve paused to gather his thoughts, he should have expected this, you have isolated yourself for years so of course you didn't know about the Avengers, or SHIELD, or HYDRA...

     "The Avengers is a group of superheros who work as a team to keep the world safe," Steve informed you, carefully watching your reaction and the ice still at your feet.

     "The world is changing, there are people doing good things and people doing bad things. A previous event made us and our director realize we need a bigger team, all sorts of people are coming together to fight for..."

      You stopped listening to Steve as you began putting the abstract pieces of what he said together;

 

_'very important matter',_

_'a team',_

_'super heroes,'_

_'group'_

_'bigger team,_

 

_Then it hit you,_

_These people had come to take you away._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter yay~!!  
> First of all, thank you so much for reading, your comments and Kudos give me the confidence and courage to continue writing so thank you SO MUCH!!  
> Kisses for all of you ;3;
> 
> Notes on Chapter:  
> -Reader (that's you!) is unfazed by the cold, thus the thin nightgown in below zero temps  
> -The effect of the sun's rays don't always cause you discomfort, but some days your are more sensitive to it than others  
> -You the reader are beautiful and amazing and perfect in every way!!  
> -You live with animals in your home!  
> -I gave the Reader my dream home; cute, cozy, and completely isolated from human beings (haha!)  
> -Mama bear Natasha is my weakness!! ;w;
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything Marvel related, nor Over the Garden Wall (pat on the back for those who caught on to my Easter egg!!) nor do I own you the reader, (all of you are lovely, strong, and independent!!)  
> I own nothing but my writing which is a work of fiction.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading cuties!! I'll post the next chapter ASAP! Have a lovely day/night!!


	3. The Consequences of Lying to a Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Standing slowly you glared daggers at each of the trespassers, your ice had long since covered the windows, the lack of light and below zero temperature of the room mirroring your fury

 

_"She was pretty in the kind of way_

_that's said she'd run a dagger through your heart_

_and still keep smiling the entire time"_

_-Richelle Mead, Silver Shadows_

 

_~_

 

_'What have I done? What have I done?'_

     The curse echoed through your panicked mind like a horrible mantra. Everything shattered when the realization hit you, it all made sense in the worst way possible. This wasn't like the other times, this panic paralyzed every muscle in your body.

_'Like a lamb frolicking to the slaughter house all because it hears a pretty melody.'_

      Your eyes rapidly shot towards the three people -no, **intruders** \- in your home. With every frantic beat of your panicked heart ice began to cover the floor and creep its way up the walls, greedily freezing everything its icy hands touched. You slowly stood up and glared daggers at each of the trespassers, your ice had long since covered the windows, the lack of light and below zero temperature of the room mirrored your fury. Thick, dangerously sharp swirls of ice began to rise from the floor around your feet and climbed up your body to protect you from the people who stood before you.

 _‘They'll never take me alive'_  

     Steve cursed under his breath when he realized he was sloppy with his words and had triggered you into a state of panic. He noticed the way the ice formed a twisted barrier all around you.

 _'It's almost like self-preservation, the ice protects her from anything she sees as a threat,'_  he thought to himself.

      Sam stood up in hopes of being able to reason with you but Steve grabbed his shirt and yanked him back just in time to save him from being impaled by a row of ice spears that the ice created when Sam had gotten too close.

     This was bad, very, very bad. Fury had given them a tranquilizer to use on you in case something like this happened. But Bruce had warned them that it was a large dosage, enough to knock out a full grown man and you might be sensitive to anesthetics. It was a risk, a serious gamble, but after meeting you -a kind soul who wanted nothing more than to be left in peace- it was not a risk they were willing to take.

      Before Steve and Sam could react, Natasha approached you and slowly made her way to your right side in hopes of focusing your attention on her and away from her team.

     "(Y/N)," Natasha called your name as if it were a lullaby.

     You jerked your head in her direction, the only light in the room was the dim illumination radiating from your ice but Natasha could clearly see the rage that gnarled your beautiful face. Your once shining bright (e/c) eyes had vanished and were now a blinding florescent blue and your (h/l) (h/c) hair swirled around you as if the silken strands were vipers, ready to lash out and kill anyone who came too close.

     "(Y/N)" Natasha cooed, "(Y/N), you have every right to be angry, I'm sorry we weren't forward with you and didn't tell you the whole truth."

     You were taken aback by her gentle voice and the ice on the ceiling slightly receded. Seeing this reaction she continued.

      "(Y/N) it's true we want you to be part of our team but the other reason why we're here is because an organization called HYDRA has found you. They're a horrible organization that kidnaps innocent people, tortures them, and turns them into monsters. They've found you and are coming for you," Natasha slowly explained in hopes of calming you.

    You gasped and the shield of ice reacted as it thickened and covered more of you. 

     _'More people are after me...'_

     Your entire world was set ablaze, the peace, the tranquility, the feeling of safety; all of it burned and turned to ash before your very eyes. You felt tears prickle at the corners of your eyes, your head sunk into your hands and despair filled your heart, the ice came closer to you, as if to comfort you in a frigid embrace.

     "But (Y/N), (Y/N) listen to me," Natasha's soft voice cause you to raise your head to look at her. Empathy and compassion shone brightly in her eyes.

     "Yes (Y/N) it's true we have come to take you, but it's to protect you. I-We want you to be safe, we want to protect you. If you come with us, no harm will come to you. You won't be in any danger, HYDRA will never touch you. Come with us (Y/N), we want you to be safe and sound."

      Her words were like a lullaby and they coaxed you out of your panic and soothed your burning soul. The icicles on the ceiling shattered then fell to the ground in the form of harmless snowflakes. The ice that covered the walls slowly receded then dragged itself to the floor and once it reached the source of its creation, it disappearing completely. Natasha stepped forward as the illuminated crystals that surrounded you shattered and you fell to the ground. You grieved the loss of your freedom and small diamonds fell from your eyes, the pretty crystals shattered as soon as they hit the ground. The infamous Black Widow knelt down and wrapped her arms around you. You melted into her embrace and clung to the woman as you sobbed into her chest. She gently stroked your hair and whispered sweet words and promises.

       Once your tears had been spent, Natasha pulled you to your feet and tucked a strand of your soft (h/c) behind your ear. You looked into her empathetic eyes and thanked her as a bashful grin graced your lovely face. The deadly assassin hugged you once more and smiled at you. She turned towards Steve and Sam, you did the same but kept your eyes cast down to the floor. Embarrassment stained your cheeks a bright vermilion and tears threaten to reappear. You opened your mouth to apologize,

      "I'm sorry (Y/N)," Steve beat you to the apology and you could see the genuine regret in his eyes.

      "I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you, I shouldn't have done that, you deserve to know the truth,"

      Sam was looking down at the ground, the same shameful expression on his face.

      "It's alright, I appreciate your intentions. I know I'm jumpy and scare easily, so I'm grateful you took that into account when trying to tell me everything,” you thanked with a gentle smile. You were truly grateful that these people were so considerate.

     Natasha lightly placed her hand on your shoulder blade, she noticed you didn't flinch as you turned to face her. Her smile came as quick as it left, her expression turning serious and you knew what she was going to say.

     "(Y/N), I know you love it here, I know you love the forest and mountains, the peace of this place is beyond words, but you have to come with us, if you come with us, you'll be safe from HYDRA," Natasha promised.

     You looked around your home. You knew it was for the best, they would protect you and keep you safe. You looked at Natasha and nodded, silently agreeing to go with them. Her emerald eyes lit up and pulled you into another embrace, which you happily returned. You pulled back and Natasha rested her hands on your shoulders as she smiled down at you. You were about to return the gesture when you heard a distant sound.

     Your eyes widened as you stared over Natasha's shoulder towards the door. It was faint, but you recognize that sound anywhere. The scarlet haired woman immediately noted your drastic change in mood and felt your body stiffen.

     "How did you get here?" you turned to ask Sam, your voice was laced with urgency. Sam was caught off guard by your sudden question.

     "In a Quincarrier, it's like a giant plane," Sam explained in case you didn't know what it was. A horrified look ceased your face. You tore yourself from Natasha's hold and ran to the window, slamming it open.

     "DEARBORN!!" you screamed out into the forest. Within seconds, a mighty wolf leapt into the house, her enormous claws skid on the floor as it turned towards you. Being your ever noble and protective companion, Dearborn readied her body to attack, and released a dangerously low growl from her throat as she bared his sharp fangs at the three new faces in your home. You calmed and reassured her they weren't a threat.

      "Dearborn, I need you to gather everyone and head to save ground do you understand me?" you ordered the wolf. You tried to hide the desperation in your voice but miserably failed at it. Dearborn sensed your distress and nuzzled her nose into your palm then let out a concerned whine.

     "Don't worry about me I'll be fine, just do as I say alright?" you reassured your companion.

     She paused then nuzzled her face into the crook for your neck one last time before flying out the window at lightning speed. You heard an ear piercing howl thunder through the forest as you stood and stared at the open window. You let the breeze caress your face and cool the hot tears that streamed down your cheeks. You knew you were about to lose everything you had come to love.

     You snapped out of your trance and wiped your tears with your sleeve then hesitantly began making preparations. You frantically rushed around you home, you ran upstairs then spiriting down to the first floor again. You gathered all the animals in your home and helped them out of the house while telling them to get to safe ground. Steve stopped you and asked what was going on.

     "No! There isn't time! You have to leave NOW!!" you bellowed, which startled everyone. You began bustling around the home again but this time with more earnest.

     "The snow on the mountains is freshly fallen, unstable, it hasn't had time to harden and set, the wind force of your aircraft has disturbed the snow and now-" you stopped mid-sentence, the rumbling had grown louder and the vibration of the ground had grown stronger.

     You dropped everything then threw open the front door and sprinted outside. The others followed and their eyes widened as they saw the source of your panic;

 

 _A tsunami of snow was plunging down the mountain at_ _alarming speed._

_The avalanche was rapidly approaching._

_And it was heading straight towards you._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter is up yay!!  
> Again, thank you so much for reading everyone!! ;w;
> 
> Notes regarding the chapter:  
> -I did my best to write Natasha the way she was in AoU when she was was trying to coax Bruce out of his Hulk form, I believe even after everything she's been through, she's kept her compassion and has a nurturing nature  
> -I loved writing about Dearborn, who doesn't want a giant wolf as their companion?? 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything Marvel related, nor do I own you the reader, (all of you are lovely, strong, and independent!!)  
> I own nothing but my writing which is a work of fiction.


	4. Flee to the Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You threw your hands in front of you, a strong gust of wind came from your palms as you blasted the carrier into the air.

 

"There are nights when the wolves are silent

and only the moon howls"

-George Carlin

 

~

 

 

     The life of an Avenger was filled with life or death situations. Each of the present superheros had seen their fair share of them; Steve had fought in World War II, Natasha was an infamous assassin, and Sam had fought overseas. All those years of trials and tribulations had left them unfazed to dangerous situations, but nothing could have prepared them for what stood before them. Thousands upon thousands of pounds of snow was charging down the mountain, heading straight towards them. They gazed upon the mountain in horror, paralyzed as their minds screamed for them to run, to escape the avalanche before the snow reached them. Steve, a natural born leader, snapped from his thoughts first. He told Natasha to get the quincarrier ready to take off as he and Sam went to retrieve you only to find you were nowhere in sight.

 

     "Alma, Foxglove, and Artemis, you take to the east and warn everyone and tell them to get to the safe ground. Leave not a soul behind!" you ordered the bucks. They thrashed their heads to and fro in protest but after you bellowed at them to leave, they sprinted out the door and nearly impaled Steve and Sam with their mighty antlers.

        "Bella, Fern, Enya, and Silverbell; fan out to the the west and alert everyone," you instructed the hares, you knelt down and stroked their head then watched them exit the house with all haste.

     "Hynm, take the fawns and head to the safe grounds, don't look back, just run, do you understand?"

     The doe bowed her head then went to gather the fawns in your home. Bonny, Fran, Darling, and Nena frolicked to you and nuzzled their noses into your hands as they nipped your fingers. You knelt down and pulled them into a quick embrace and laughed as some of them playfully tugged at the ends of your hair.

     "Godspeed Hymn," you said to the doe as you stood. She ushered the fawns out the door then turned to look at you one last time before taking off.

     "Ironshield and Invierno, take the south, the snow there will be harder to run in so be sure to make pathways as you warn everyone. Be safe my little ones," you murmured as you stand on your tip toes to wrap your arms around the necks of the bears. Soon they too were out the door and ran to the south.

     Your attention turned to the many birds in your home and you told them to fan out in all direction. You instructed them to make sure everyone heard of the coming disaster and made it to the safe grounds. Beatrice lingered after the other birds had left to peck the top of your head. Then she too left.

     Lastly, you turn to the pack -your pack- of wolves who patiently awaited your orders. Your lips drew into a sorrowful smile, these wolves had protected you, nurtured you, they did everything a real family would do.

     "Luna, Mournwood, Serenity, Evermoon, Myth...you will take the north. You are the fastest, gather everyone you can and guide them to the safe grounds," you instructed, allowing them to jump on you and lick your face. 

    Your happiness was cut short when the ground began to tremble. Your eyes shot towards the open door only to see the snow was way closer than it was before. You had taken too long with your good-byes. You gazed at the pack and your eyes said everything that words could never articulate; thanks, gratitude, sadness, and so many more but the strongest of all was love. The time you had spent with humans had hardened your heart, but it was thanks to the forest and the animals that you had learned to love again.

     "Go," you told them in a hushed voice, and with that they were out the door. For the first time in an eternity your house was completely empty, but the trembling of the ground left no room for mourning. You dashed outside and Sam ran to you, saying that the quincarrier was ready to go.

     "No I'm staying!" you yelled so your voice could be heard over the rapidly advancing avalanche. Steve and Natasha heard your words and began urging you to board the carrier. You shook your head violently.

     "There's a town about ninety-six miles away from here, if that avalanche is as bad as I think it is, the town will be destroyed! I'm the only one who can save the town and the forest!!" you hollered, squinting your eyes as the wind from the carrier made it difficult to keep your eyes open.

     "We're not leaving you behind!" Steve yelled back, the wall of snow was getting closer, you didn't have much time. You quickly agreed.

 

_**Four.** _

You rushed to the carrier which was already taking off, it quickly rose further and further from the ground.

_**Three.** _

Sam jumped into the carrier.

_**Two**_.

Steve leapt in next and stretched out his hand for you to grab.

_**ONE**. _

You threw your hands in front of you and strong gust of wind came from your palms as you blasted the carrier into the air.

 

     The Avengers inside were thrown about the plane like rag dolls while Natasha struggled to regain control over the aircraft.

     "What the hell was that?!" Natasha bellowed after she was finally able to stabilize the carrier. She turned to ask if you were alright only to find that you were nowhere in sight. She felt panic rise in her chest.

_'Where is (Y/N)?! Did she fall off of the carrier when we were hit by the wind!?'_   her thoughts were cut short when she saw a something moving on the ground below them.

 

 

_It was you.  
_

_Running in the direction of the incoming snow._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey cuties!! (ﾉ∀`♥)  
> Chapter 3 is now here and thank you so much for reading!!  
> Thank you so much for the comments and Kudos, they give me the confidence and courage to continue writing! ;w; 
> 
> Regarding the Chapter:  
> -I know some of you may be antsy about when //you know who~// is going to make his appearance and trust me, its going to be VERY soon  
> -One of the things I want to portray is that the Reader (that's you!) is very independent, powerful, and can take care of herself!!♥♥  
> -I also wanted to establish your relationship with Natasha early on (bc us girls gotta stick together!)  
> -Since you have been isolated from humans for so long, I made the Reader close friends with the animals  
> -I grew up in the city and never really had much contact with animals so it was so much fun coming up with names for all the different animals!! (Did I go overboard??)
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading! I am always open to constructive criticism!! Next chapter will be up ASAP!♥♥
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything Marvel related, nor Over the Garden Wall (pat on the back for those who caught on to my Easter egg!!) nor do I own you the reader, (all of you are lovely, strong, and independent!!)  
> I own nothing but my writing which is a work of fiction.


	5. The Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was this what its like to be free?  
> To not be chained down by fear?

_“Always remember_

_you are braver than you believe,_

_stronger than you seem,_

_and smarter than you think.”_

_—Christopher Robin_

 

~

 

     You had always been a timid girl. You were easily frightened by even the smallest of sounds and always unsure of yourself. The power you possessed was the source of all your anxiety and fears. There had been countless times where you wished you didn't have them, but this was not one of those times.

     Your body had reacted on it's own. After you sent the helicarrier flying into the air, something inside you broke free. It was as if a powerful being that had been locked away finally broke out of its cage. You felt power and confidence surge through your body, sending you into a euphoria.

_Was this what its like to be free?_

_To not be chained down by fear?_

     Once you were satisfied with the distance between you and the untouched forest you stopped. The flood of snow was rapidly approaching you, greedily consuming everything in it's path. You closed your eyes and took in a deep breath, you could hear the roaring of the snow rapidly closing in on you. Slowly you stretched out your arms, palms facing your incoming opponent. You planted your feet into the ground and locked your knees, it was a few feet away. You exhaled and shot your eyes open, only having seconds to register that a mountain of snow was right in front of you; it had changed its form and looked like two hands ready to grab and sweep you away.

     Your heart was slamming itself against your rib cage, you found yourself gasping for air, as if your lungs has stopped working and you were trembling like a leaf in the wind.

    

But for the first time in your entire life,

_You weren't afraid_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short chapter but I promise another one is on the way!  
> I must unfortunately inform all my readers that bc my classes begin the 24th (which is this coming Monday), chapters may not be posted as frequently are they are now.  
> But I will do my best to post when I can!


	6. Watch the Queen Conquer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'This is insane and I love it', you thought to yourself with a smirk.

 

 

 

_"I'm not a girl,_

_I'm a storm with skin"_

_-Ginger Bronson_

 

_~_

_It wasn't suppose to be like this._

_The mission was simple; come here, get you, leave._

_None of this was suppose to happen._

_But nothing could have prepared them for this._

 

     Three of earth's mightiest heroes watched helplessly as you stood your ground against one of nature's deadliest calamities. The unpredictable and violent wind made it impossible to land and the lack of visibility eliminated the possibility of rescuing you. Natasha called out your name as she watched the snow swallow you whole. A powerful gust of wind caused the aircraft to lurch, Sam and Steve struggled to stay on their feet while Natasha wrestled with the wheel of the carrier. There was an eerie calm that followed, they looked out the window and it was difficult for them to believe what they were seeing

     ' _This is insane and I love it',_ you thought to yourself with a smirk.

     Power and confidence radiated from your body, and gave you the strength you needed to face the avalanche head on. The snow was moving around you in all directions, as if there was a circular shield protecting you. You felt the strength of the avalanche begin to weaken, but you knew it was still powerful enough to level the entire forest. Knowing the fight was far from over you focused your strength into your arms, the snow stuttered before slowing. You felt sweat forming on your brow as your arms started to shake.

    _'No!' y_ ou thought to yourself as you took a step forward, _'I can't give in, not yet!' y_ ou thought of the animals in the forest and the kind townspeople which gave you a small burst of energy. They needed you to save them.

     But alas, your will was strong but your body had nearly reached it's limit. The snow began to weaken your invisible shield and it inched its way towards you. The speed and force of the avalanche had drastically decreased but you wanted to stop it completely. You told yourself you could stop it, that you were capable of it, but your trembling body and blatant fatigue said otherwise. The snow was closing in on you, its force pushed you backwards and caused your feet to sink into the whiteness below. You fought to keep yourself steady.

    _'I won't go down this easy, not now, not when I'm so close to stopping the snow completely.'_

      But whispers of doubt began to creep into your mind and caused your resolve to falter. You had never used your powers for this long, nor have you ever faced something this powerful... 

     You were desperately panting for air as you struggled to keep yourself standing. It was too much. The burning sensation in your arms, the sweat dripping down your face, your labored breathing, and the exhaustion of your body had finally caught up with you. A feeling of unwelcome drowsiness washed over you as you closed your eyes and bitterly accepted defeat.

     The trio of Avengers watched in awe as you stood your ground and fought against the raging avalanche. You had managed to considerably slow the downfall of snow but they knew you couldn't last forever. Natasha had been the first to notice your fatigue; she noted the distance between you and the snow had become smaller and saw your visibly shaking form.

_'She's not going to last much longer...'_

     They watched as the snow overwhelmed you and you were brought to your knees. Before Steve could give out the order, Sam was out of the carrier and diving towards you. He swooped in and grabbed your unconscious form just in time to save you from being buried by your colorless opponent. He soared up and carried you to the safety of the aircraft. Natasha rushed to you once Sam had landed and took your unconscious form into her arms. She checked your pulse, it was weak but you were still alive. The team looked out the window when they heard a loud rumble. The snow knocked down a few more trees and consumed your house before coming to a sluggish stop.

     Then everything went silent. The trio looked at your unconscious form. You-the timid girl who served them hot coco just moments ago-had stopped one of earth's most destructive natural disasters. They looked at each other, and shared the same thought;

 

_HYDRA can never have someone as powerful as you on their side._

_~_

  
Wanda, Pietro, Clint, Tony, and Bruce had gathered in the main room and patiently waited for their teammates to return with you. After the third hour had passed Tony whipped out the bottles of champagne and whiskey to ease everyone's growing anxiety. The room was silent but they were all thinking the same thing, _'What's taking them so long?'_ As time passed, dreaded thoughts began to worm into their minds.

 

_'It was a simple mission, there's no reason they should be taking this long....'  
_

_'Was she more powerful than they had originally thought?'_

_'Had they been injured and abandoned the mission because the girl was too powerful?'_

_'Were they unable to reason with her?'_

_'Did she kill them?'_

_'Surely a girl like her couldn't be that powerful...'_

     They were snapped out of their thoughts when they heard the doors of the elevator open. They had expected to see a deranged, disheveled girl, kicking and screaming while being dragged in chains. What they did not expect to see was Steve carrying a pretty girl wearing a white nightgown in his arms. They approached your unconscious form to get a better look at you.

     "Oh Steve, you knocked out a delicate girl like her just to get her to come with you? Chivalry _is_ dead!" Tony dramatically teased (hoping to ease the tension in the room) as he placed his hand over his heart in mock sadness.

     "She stopped an avalanche with her bare hands," Natasha bit back, silencing Tony and shocking everyone in the room. Everyone realized how important it was to keep HYDRA away from you.

     Steve looked down at you, sleeping peacefully in his arms and wrapped snug in his jacket. They had taken you from the serenity and peace of your home and although it was for the best, he knew your life would never be the same. Guilt washed over the super soldier, he held you closer to his chest and knew this wasn't going to be easy. Tony broke the heavy silence as he spoke, there wasn't a hint of playfulness or sarcasm in his voice;

 

"Alright Cap, put Elsa to bed so she can rest.

It's time to bring out Frosty."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I start my classes this Monday (super nervous but super excited!!) so chapter updates may not be as frequent so sorry! ;m;  
> Thank you so much for all the feedback and compliments!! I'm sorry if there are any mistakes I'm still working on improving my English!  
> The man of out dreams will be making his entrance in the next chapter!!  
> Additional Disclaimer: I do not own Elsa the character from Frozen or anything Disney related.


	7. Midnight Laments and the Touch of Starlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your fingers brushed against his as you touched each others hands. Your fingers danced with his and the warmth radiating from his hand sent you into a realm of pleasure and delight

 

_I climb into the dark for you,_

_Are you waiting in the stars for me?”_

_― Ally Condie,_

_Crossed _

 

_~_

 

_You had always felt at peace in the darkness of night._

_Like nothing could ever hurt you_

_and no wandering eyes could ever find you._

_However, this darkness was different._

_In the forest the moon always illuminated the night and your lantern was always lit,_

_but this darkness consumed all light._

   _You were stumbling blindlessly in a never ending tunnel of darkness. All your senses had been dulled, leaving you completely defenseless against any foe with ill intent. You walked for what felt like an eternity, when suddenly a dim light appeared at the end of the tunnel. The light roused you from your weary state and you raced towards the illumination._

_As you came closer, you saw a man sitting down in a strange chair with leather belts tying his limbs to the chair. He was shirtless and you could see the sweat that covered his entire body. Another man sat on a stool in front of him, he was talking to the man in the chair but their voices were muffled and impossible to understand. You carefully stepped forward and gasped when the restrained man was slapped by the man sitting on the stool. You sprinted towards them, ready to attack the bastard, yet no matter how long your strides, you seemed to be going nowhere but you could see everything a bit clearer. The man strapped to the chair had chin length brown hair that was messy and unkept._

_Your throat went dry and your eyes widened as you watched the brunette man being shoved back into the chair, people in white coats began to tie coarse belts around his torso, restricting all movement. Something was placed in his mouth as a machine was lowered and encased the sides of his head. You heard the hushed sound of electricity before an ear piercing scream ripped itself from the man's throat. You raced towards him, yelling and demanding the people in white coats stop hurting him, but your shouts came out as strangled whispers. The man continued to cry out. His toned and scarred chest heaved as he struggled to breathe. His entire body shook violently as he struggled to break free from his restraints._

_You cursed your uselessness. Tears began streaming down your face as he continued to scream and suffer before your very eyes. You felt yourself sinking, the ground beneath you had turned into a disgusting tar like substance that was dragging you down, greedily consuming you. You helplessly watched the man being tortured, the light was going out, fading as the tar went over your head and you were swallowed whole._

 

    You awoke with a jolt, your body threw itself forward and you gasped for air. You tried to control your erratic breathing but to no avail. Gripping the material that laid beneath you seemed to help. After a few minutes your breathing stabilized and your body finally relaxed. Opening your eyes you turned to apologize to Hymn and the fawns for scaring them only to find they weren't there. You quickly took in your surrounding and fear crept it's way into your heart as you realized you weren't in your home. The room you were in was huge, it wasn't even a room. 

 _'More like a luxurious suite,'_ you thought to yourself.

     Your heart was pounding in your chest and ice began to form around you. Looking down you noticed you were in a king sized bed and partially covered by cream colored sheets with a large brown leather jacket in your lap. The jacket seemed vaguely familiar but you didn't linger on it.

   _'How the hell did I get here?'_

     You didn't remember coming here. Were you abducted? Kidnapped? Who could have...then the memories came flooding in. Your unexpected guests, Natasha telling you about HYDRA, agreeing to come with them, the quincarrier disrupting the snow, telling the animals to flee to the safe grounds, sending the aircraft with Sam, Steve, and Natasha flying into the air, and the avalanche...The memories calmed you, the ice receded from the sheets and returned to your body.

      _'So this is where they live...'_  you thought as you examined the room you were in in more detail. It was simple and modern, to your right there was an enormous TV, sofa and coffee table, to your left a drawer, closet, and a door that you guess led to a bathroom. Your wandering thoughts were cut short when you heard your stomach grumble.

 _'How long has it been since I've eaten?'_   you looked at a clock near the bed you realized it was three in the morning. After much inner debate, you decided to get up and look for food. You fixed the sheets and remade the bed, then folded the jacket and placed it on a nightstand.

    Once you had reached the door, you considered abandoning your search for food but your protesting stomach led you to slowly open the door. You caustiously poked your head out, and scanned the long hallway for any possible threats. When you saw none you decided to follow the hall and hoped it would take you to a kitchen of some sort. Ice formed at your feet as you walked, the hallway ended and in front of you was a glass walkway that led to an elevator. After seeing the coast was clear you walked towards the elevator, leaving a trail of shimmering ice behind you. You pressed the button next to the elevator, then the doors opened with a ding and you hesitantly stepped in. Once inside you noticed there was a list of all the different floors and what was on them. _'More like a tower than a mansion...'_

     Much to your relief, 'Kitchen/Dining Room' was on the list. Pressing the button the doors closed and the elevator went down to the desired floor. You had always hated small spaces and anxiety began to form in your stomach, the ice reacted and spread from your feet to cover the entire floor of the elevator. The elevator stopped before the ice could climb up its walls.

    Sticking your head out you yet again scanned the area and just like before, it was safe. You apprehensively stepped out of the elevator and jumped when it's door shut, the ice at your feet spiked up the protect you but lowered when you calmed. You walked forward and passed a huge entertainment area with several plush sofas surrounding a massive TV that hung on the wall. 

 _'They have a thing for big TV's and sofas...'_   you thought but pressed forward, determined to find the kitchen.

     You passed a fancy bar (alcohol had never interested you) then finally found what you had been searching for. You squealed in delight as you took in the beauty of everything in the massive kitchen. The stove was top of the line, probably the best the world had to offer. There was a box that was in the wall above the stove that had numbers on the side and a handle. You pulled it open and saw a glass plate in the middle of the box, you closed the little door then continued to explore. Sounds of awe and enchantment spilled from your lips as you touched every item in the kitchen. Everything was too fancy and futuristic to describe and the marble of the countertops was absolutely gorgeous! Out of everything in the kitchen the most beautiful sight was in the massive pantry.

     Chocolate! Chocolate chip cookies, chocolate brownies, bars of chocolate the size of your head, chocolate cereal, chocolate everything!!

    _'So this is what heaven looks like...'_   you thought as you moaned and wiped the drool from your mouth.

     Knowing your eyes were bigger than your stomach you grabbed the chocolate chip cookies and the coco powder. _'I'll come back for the rest later.'_

     You briefly considered taking and hiding some in your room but dismissed it, it would be rude to hoard food that belonged to someone else. Once you emerged from the loaded pantry you searched for a kettle which you found in a cupboard near the stove. You grabbed milk from the ice box (which was so big your bears could easily fit inside) and prepared the hot chocolate. Grabbing the coco powder you held it above your head as if it were a holy item and made a heavenly noise. Then you grabbed a plate to place the cookies, twirling and giggling as you did so. As you were waiting for the kettle to whistle, you sang a song you had been taught by a group of little girls long ago;

 

_"The rose in the valley is blooming so sweet,_

_And angels descend there the children to greet."_

 

    You danced as you sang, twirling and moving with elegance and grace, remembering the time you had spent with them. Your smile faded as soon as it came and your body stopped when you remembered their unfortunate fate. The guilt you felt was cut short when the kettle whistled. Shaking the memory from your head you found a mug and filled it with the hot coco. You placed the plate of cookies and the mug on a tall island in the middle of the kitchen, relieved that there were chairs already there. You gazed down at the plate of cookies.

     "Just one more," you told yourself out loud as you scurried off to snag another cookie then walked back to the island with the biggest cookie you could find in your mouth. You looked up and stopped dead in your tracks when you saw a figure sitting across from you.

     Your eyes widened and ice began to rise from the floor, twisting around your ankles and slowly forming a shield around you. The kitchen was dimly lit but you were able to conclude that the person in front of you was a man. His face and body were concealed by the shadows which made you even more afraid, the ice climbed up off the ground and swirled around your ankles, slowly moving its way up. You were paralyzed in place and no matter what you did, your body refused to move. Your breath had been caught in your throat and your palms became moist with sweat that was replaced by a thin layer of ice. Quickly taking the cookie from your mouth you intended to apologize for disturbing him but your words came out as a shaky whisper. Slowly backing away you then turned your back to him and began walking away.

    " 's pretty."

    You turned your head to look at the man who had just spoken, a confused look on your face.

    "Your voice," he added, clearing your confusion. The gentleness of his voice caused you to turn your body towards him as the ice around you lowered to the floor. A blush dusted your cheeks and you smiled, looking down at the tiled floor.

     "Thank you very much but I'm really not that good, I only know that one song," you bashfully confessed. The man hummed in acknowledgement. His response encouraged you to say more.

     "You should hear Beatrice, she has a beautiful voice and knows so many tunes. We used to sing together all the time," a smile graced your face as you recalled the treasured memory, but quickly snapped out of it and returned to reality.

     "I'm sorry for my senseless rambling I'll leave you in peace," you bashfully stated as you walked away.

    "Stay."

    It wasn't a command. His tone wasn't stern or demanding. That one word was filled with emotions you couldn't put into words. It was like a cry for help in a lost world. But...

    "Please."

    That six letter word sealed the deal. You looked over your shoulder at him, trying to get at least a glimpse of him. Unfortunately he was far from the light and it was impossible to see his face. The only sound in the room was the sound of your foot steps as you slowly approached him. You suddenly stopped dead in your tracks, finally realizing that you were only clad in your white, and somewhat transparent nightgown. Bringing your arms to the front of your body, you tried to cover yourself in the most nonchalant, not-completely-obvious way, possible.

      A gasp escaped your lips when you heard the man get up from his chair, the ice at your feet stirred, slightly rising from the floor. The man stopped for a moment, then continued walking towards you but at a much slower pace. You lowered your head and shut your eyes, hoping it would calm your racing heart. You squeezed the material of your nightgown as you heard him walk behind you. Ice was yet again rising from the floor, ready to protect you from the man. A small squeak escaped you as you felt something heavy placed on your shoulders. You opened your eyes and realized he had given you his jacket. It was like the jacket from earlier but this one was black. The heavy material was still warm from his body heat and the soft material inside eased you out of your anxious state.

      You felt the man's presence still behind you and you quickly turned around, hoping to catch a glimpse of his face. You saw his face for a brief second and blushed as he stepped back into the shadows before you could fully see him. He walked back to the island and sat down in the chair he was previously sitting in. It was like a game of hide and seek with this man. You giggled, a feeling of pride welled inside you since you had stolen a small glimpse at him. You didn't get a decent look but you saw that he was handsome; broad shoulders, a strong jaw, muscular chest, and attractive lips. You scolded yourself for letting your thoughts wander in that direction so you decided to occupy yourself with something else.

    You grabbed another mug from the cupboard, poured some hot cocoa into it then set the mug in front of the man. You settled yourself in one of the chairs across from the man. You blew onto the hot liquid and it cooled down instantly. With the danger of burning your tongue out of the way, you took a sip of the hot coco and hummed. You closed your eyes as you savored its sweet and rich flavor and enjoyed the feeling of the warm liquid sliding down your throat. A content sigh left you as your body relaxed. You turned your attention to the silent man and realized that you could see his face a bit more clearly. Only his most distinct features such as his angular jaw, alluring lips, a small amount of facial hair, and the whites of his eyes were visible. The color and details of his face were still hidden by the lack of light. He had been staring at you the entire time but instead of cowering under his intense gaze, your attention turned to his untouched cup of hot coco.

    "Do you like hot chocolate?"

     The man nodded in reply.

     "Its cooled down so there's no need to worry about burning your tongue," you explained.

     After a moment the man reached out for the mug but suddenly froze when his arm came into the light and you saw it. His arm was made of metal. It wasn't a normal prostatic you concluded as you watched his fingers twitch under your gaze. He quickly retracted his hand, and pulled his metal arm close to his body as he looked down at the floor. He dared a glance in your direction and saw you smiling benevolently at him. You were able to see the mixture of embarrassment and shock on his face and decided to quickly change the subject to something lighthearted.

     "This place is huge, never in my life have I ever been in something like this. Everything is so fancy and modern, not to mention the size of everything! The TV's here are gigantic!"

     The man slowly nodded and glanced back at the TV in the entertainment room. You were relieved that some of the tension had left his body.

     "I didn't have electricity back home. There was a beaten up stove and an old heater and that's about as fancy as it got! But I didn't mind, I had candles and a lantern I used at night. Plus the cold has never really bothered me, " you explained with a shrug and a smile.

    "It's nice here but there isn't much greenery. Not that there was much back home. I had bought some flower seeds and had my own flower garden. It wasn't that big of course, it was too cold and the snow was too thick to have an outdoor garden so I had my flowers inside by a window," you paused to take another sip of hot cocoa, not noticing the steam coming from your mouth as you spoke.

     "It was lovely, the flowers always added color to the house, not that it needed it but they were beautiful none the less," you smiled thoughtfully then laughed when you recalled a silly memory.

     "Ugh, but Beatrice, oh the things I could tell you about her. She knew how much I loved my flower garden so whenever I would scold her for doing something she wasn't suppose to be doing, she would poop in my poor garden!" you exclaimed in annoyance.

     "Shitty little bluebird," you grumbled under your breath.

     "A few times I caught Bonny, Darling and the other fawns nibbling at my flowers. They stopped after both Hymn and I scolded them," you finished with an annoyed huff. Your eyes shot up to look at the man, who hadn't moved an inch. "Oh my goodness I'm so sorry for my pointless babbling I-"

    "Don't stop."

    You looked up at him in shock. "You enjoy hearing my silly stories?" you asked jokingly.

    "Yes"

    His reply was straightforward and without the slightest hint of mockery or dishonesty. He seemed to be telling the truth. You didn't understand what was so fascinating about your small stories, but if he didn't mind them you saw no harm in continuing. Plus it had been centuries since you had last spoken to another human so you were overjoyed to finally be talking to a person.

     "Thank you for listening to me. I never really got out much nor did I have much contact with people, so being here with you is lovely. I truly enjoy your company," you thanked him with a sweet smile as you beamed with happiness.

     He didn't move for a moment but eventually bowed his head, to acknowledge your thanks and say _'you're welcome'_ in his own silent way. You looked down at your half empty mug and laughed as you recalled another memory.

    "Aside from the old stove I owned an even older heater. I had to kick it a few times but after it was up and running it was an excellent source of heat, but as I said before, the cold has never bothered me. Quite frankly I love it. Oh but the animals were a different story. In the summer they were fine with being outside but in the winter, many of them lived in the house with me, mainly because of the heater!" you giggled as another memory resurfaced.

     "I remember one winter there was a terrible blizzard, I didn't know how to fix it at the time so my house was bursting at the seams with forest critters. It was chaotic at first, but eventually everyone found a place to stay. Hymn, Foxglove, Alma, and the fawns would stay close to the heater, sharing its warmth with Silverbell and the other hares. The birds would snuggle with Ironshield and her cubs as well as the pack, enjoying their thick furs and heated bodies. Everything was going well until one morning I felt a crushing pressure on my chest, only to find that all the animals had snuggled around and ontop of me!" you heartily laughed.

     "The first night it happened I thought the roof of my house had been ripped off and I had been buried alive by the snow! But alas, it wasn't snow that was crushing me, but a pack of mighty wolves and forest animals! I moaned in frustration which woke all of them, then they all jumped on me and started licking my face. Six tongues drenched me in saliva and it was a nightmare to wash it all off!" you struggled to finish the last of the story because laughing and talking didn't really leave much room for breathing.

     Then everything went still.

    You never felt the tears form in your eyes nor did you feel them fall from your cheeks. The reality of everything hit you like a train. Back when you were at home everything happened so fast, the Avengers coming to your door, being told an evil organization was after you, agreeing to leave your home, saying goodbye to the animals you had come to love...

    "I can't go back," your voice was monotone and devoid of all emotion. You were staring down at your mug, but your eyesight was hazy and unfocused. Your gaze was distant, as if you were in a completely different dimension.

     "I can never go back home. I've lost everything. My forest, my home, my friends...everything I once had; the peace, the serenity, the feeling of being safe...all are gone...and I can't ever go back home..." you choked out the last few words as your grief consumed you.

     You lowered your head you began to sob, completely forgetting the presence of the man in front of you. Sorrow enveloped all your senses and your body shook as sobs racked through you. You had the material of your nightgown in an iron grip, your knuckles turning, as the ice rose from the floor and swirled around you. Tears spilled from your eyes, some of them in the form of water others in the form of crystal ice.

     "I want to go home," you cried in a small voice, your words slightly slurred. In the back of your mind you knew you would later regret sounding so much like a silly lost child but at the moment you couldn't bring yourself to care.

     "I'm so afraid," you pathetically confessed in a childlike manner as your head sank closer to the table. You were pulled back to reality when you felt something warm on your right cheek.

 

    It was the man's hand, his human hand, that cupped your cheek. Your head jerked upwards to stare at him with wide eyes. He had leaned closer to the light and although it was still impossible to see the details of his face, you could see the look of sympathy and compassion in his eyes. His gentleness broke the damn and more tears fell from your eyes like a never ending fountain as you melted into his touch. You reached up with both hands and pulled his hand closer to your face, and sobbed into it. The man's thumb caressed your wet cheek slowly and gently.

_'It's as if he's afraid of hurting me.'_

    When you had come to your senses, your cheeks were stained a bright vermilion. Not just from your pathetic wailing but also from embarrassment. You had no idea why you had melted into his touch, it was **completely** inappropriate! You didn't even know who he was! You felt that you had taken advantage of his kind gesture. Lost in your thoughts you failed to feel the man stiffen under your touch. You fumbled and continuously apologized as you grabbed a napkin and dried his wet hand.

     Your once feverish movements slowed as you continued to dry his hand. Gradually sliding the cloth from his hand you set it aside as another strange feeling washed over you. Its as if you weren't in control of your body, it was simply acting on its own. You stared down at his hand, strangely enchanted by it. His hand was laying in yours and you brought your other hand up to stroke the long line on his palm. He froze but you were too engrossed in your actions to notice. Your index finger traced the long line that was at the center of his palm before moving to stroke the two shorter ones. You felt the callouses and scars on his hands and ghosted your fingertips over them, knowing full well they were healed but you were still afraid of hurting him. You had been touching his hand for what felt like an eternity when you felt one of his fingers brush against your palm. You let out a shaky breath as he continued.

    His rough fingers hesitantly touched your palm, as if he were yet again afraid of harming you. His hand was so much bigger than yours, for the first time you realized just how small you were.

    Both of you had been deprived of touch for so long that neither of you had any plans of stopping. Your fingers brushed against his as you touched each others hands. Your fingers danced with his and the warmth radiating from his hand sent you into a realm of pleasure and delight. You both stopped when you found your fingers had laced themselves together. His fingertips brushed against your knuckles as his thumb caressed the knuckle of your thumb. You softened into his touch, never wanting to stop feeling the sensation of his hands. His touch was driving you insane. You felt him staring at you and you returned his gaze.

   _'I want to see him, gosh I want to see his face so badly.'_  

    "Your heart is kind and your hands are gentle."

     His grip slightly tightened, as if he was taken aback or your words made him uneasy, maybe both, but you pressed on.

    "I want to see you," your words came out as a hushed lullaby laced with desire and yearning.

     You slowly leaned forward and outstretched your free hand, hoping he would place his face in it. But instead he abruptly jerked back, ripped his hand from your gentle embrace and bolted out of the room. The chair fell back and hit the tile with a loud **BANG**. The sound rang through the kitchen, once it faded you were left in complete silence. Your hand was still in the same position it was in when he had tore himself from your hold. You brought your hand close to your chest. It had been years and years since you had felt the touch of another human, and although he had ran away, you were happy. Happier than you had been since you got here. A few tears fell from your eyes but you quickly wiped them away, not wanting them to spoil the moment. Looking down at your sleeve you noticed you were still wearing his jacket. You pulled the black leather closer to your body, enjoying the warmth it gave you. Inhaling to stabilize your breathing you caught the scent of his jacket. _'Smells like old books and cinnamon,'_  you buried your face in his jacket for a few moments more before you got up and began to clean the mess you had made. You finished your now ice cold coco, grabbed the man's mug and poured the remains down the drain of the sink. You washed the mugs and put back the cookies then headed back to the elevator.

    Once inside the in elevator a wave of drowsiness washed over you. Struggling to keep your eyes open, you exited the elevator when it came to a stop and followed your feet hoping they would take you to the right room. You opened the only door on the floor and were relieved to find it was indeed yours. You dragged yourself to the bed and climbed in. Too exhausted to even pull the covers over your body, you simply pulled the man's jacket closer; inhaling his scent one last time before falling asleep.

 

~

  

    Bucky watched you enter the elevator from his hiding place. He ran his metal fingers through his hair and let out an annoyed sigh. Burying his face in his hands he scolded himself for everything that had just happened and most of all for running away. He had panicked, he had never intended to let it go that far.

 

    _Bucky had entered the kitchen to get some water after waking up from a nightmare. Sitting down at the table he stared at the untouched glass of water, too engrossed in his own thoughts to notice someone had entered the room. He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a feminine squeal. Quickly taking out the knife he kept with him at all times, he prepared himself to attack anyone he perceived as a threat. The tension left his body when a young woman pranced into the kitchen. She examined all the appliances and making noises of awe at everything she looked at. Bucky let out an amused huff, it was funny to see her so excited over a bunch of kitchen supplies._

_He could only see her backside but he could tell she was attractive. Her (h/c) (h/l) was a bit bed wrangled but it was shining and pretty none the less. He watched her take in her surroundings before she entered the pantry. It was so big he had gotten lost in it a few times. Bucky's face twisted in confusion when he heard her moan, but understood why when she returned with an armful of chocolate chip cookies and coco powder. He had a similar reaction, minus the moan of course. Chocolate wasn't something he had eaten during his time with HYDRA and was very pleased to find that Stark Tower was packed with chocolate flavored food. He would occasionally snag a bar of chocolate when no one was looking. An amused smirk tugged at his lips when he saw her lift the coco powder above her head and made a heavenly sound._

_'This girl has an obsession with chocolate...not that I can blame her...' his gaze softened as he watched the chocolate manic in front of him dance and twirl as she prepared her snack._

_Her white nightgown twisted around her figure then flared out as she twirled. He caught a quick glimpse at her face and his eyes widened. 'She's beautiful...'_

_Bucky bit his lip and felt his palms get sweaty as his heart rate increased. Bucky began to feel nervous. He had never been around a pretty girl. He knew how to take down and kill twenty armed men but didn't know what to do in the presence of a beautiful young woman like her. Should he make a run for it? He considered it but his body stayed put, wanting to see her face again._

_All thoughts about leaving the room disappeared when he heard her sing. It was a short song, something about roses and angels. 'How befitting.' he thought to himself. He felt disappointed when her singing stopped and her body came to a halt. The former assassin saw the girl's shoulders slump for a moment before the whistle of the kettle perked her up._

_Bucky froze when the darling girl started walking towards him. His heart was throwing itself against his rib cage as she approached him, not only because she was gorgeous but because he didn't know how she would react to him being here. The girl set the mug of hot coco down then the plate. She stared at the plate full of cookies for a moment._

_"Just one more," she told herself out loud._

_He would have smiled if the circumstances were different but now was not the time for smiling. The lovely girl walked back to the island with a large cookie in her mouth and looked up, and stopped dead in her tracks. She had finally spotted him. Bucky felt horrible, the whole situation was like something off of one of those cheap horror movies Tony liked to watch; the pretty girl sees a man in the shadows and then things go downhill from there. He hoped this situation would be different, but as the girl stared at him like a deer to headlights, he quickly began to doubt it. He thought he heard a soft chime and felt the temperature of the room slightly drop but he quickly dismissed both. He heard the noise grow louder but her voice grabbed his attention._

_"I-I'm so sorry for bothering you I didn't k-know you were there."_

_His heart sank. Her melodious voice was shaking so badly she could barely form a sentence. She began backing away from him and he screamed at himself to say something, anything!!_

_" ''s pretty," was all he managed to say. 'Nice going Bucky, way to comfort the poor girl.' he scolded himself and cursed his lack of knowledge of how to handle the situation. She turned around and he saw all of her. A thousand thoughts were racing through his head as his eyes took in her beauty but he noticed the confused look on her face._

_"Your voice," he mentally kicked himself in the ass._

_This was terrible, absolutely terrible. But God is merciful and Bucky was blessed with a smile from the girl as she blushed. Her smile sent his heart into overdrive but he had the world's best poker face so none of his current emotions showed, not that she could see his face at all. She thanked him, humbly saying that Beatrice (he had no idea who that was) had a prettier voice than her- which he seriously doubted. She suddenly apologized for her "senseless rambling" and began to walk away._

_"Stay," was all he managed to say, he really hated himself for this. But yet again God was merciful and Bucky's voice came out gentler than he had expected._

_"Please," Bucky quickly added in case the girl had interpreted his previous statement as a command._

_She looked over her shoulder, he knew she was trying to catch a glimpse of him, but he preferred to stay hidden in the shadows. The last thing he wanted was to scare her off. He was well aware he was intimidating. He was still trying to break the habits HYDRA had beaten into him._

_She walked towards him, then once again stopped dead in her tracks. Bucky began to panic._

_'Had she seen me? Did she change her mind about staying? Does she know who I am? Did I scare her in some way?'_

_Then he realized the source of her discomfort when she tried to cover herself in the most not-at-all-obvious way possible, finally realizing that her white nightgown was somewhat transparent. Bucky would have been lying if he said his gaze didn't stray downwards a few times, but he always returned his attention to her face. He was many things, but a pervert wasn't one of them. Regardless of what had been done to him, he was a gentleman at the core and nothing could ever change that._

_The darling girl gasped when Bucky rose from his chair. He stopped for a moment, then heard the chiming sound again and saw a soft glow emitting from the ground beneath her. The super soldier realized that maybe the girl wasn't as normal as she seemed. He had already met the other Avengers and was well aware of the fact that the world had completely changed since he was last part of it. He continued walking towards her but much slower this time. Bucky could tell she was terrified of him and he didn't blame her. A man hiding in the shadows was never a good thing, but he hoped his next gesture would ease her mind. She had lowered her head and squeezed her eyes shut. Her knuckles had turned white due to the iron grip she had on the sides of her nightgown. He took off his jacket when he was near her and she whimpered. Guilt consumed his heart, 'I feel like a wolf closing in on a cornered, helpless rabbit.' When the intimidating man was closer to the terrified girl he saw the source of the sound he had heard and the soft glow._

_Ice._

_Ice was swirling around the girl forming a shield to protect her from him. Bucky ignored the fact that this girl was indeed 'not normal' and gently placed his black leather jacket on her trembling shoulders. She let out a small squeak as the jacket was draped over her form. Relief washed over Bucky as the girl relaxed and the ice shield lowered. He had anticipated her next move but didn't expect her to be so fast. He stepped back into the shadows as quickly as he could but he knew she had caught a glimpse of him. He walked back to the island and sat down, trying to act as nonchalant as possible. The girl giggled and he knew she had gotten a decent look at him. He cursed himself and hoped she didn't know who he was._

_The not-so-normal girl placed a mug of hot coco in front of him and smiled as she fully put on his jacket. 'She's even cuter in my clothes,' he thought as he bit his lip, hoping she didn't see the suggestive gesture._

_Luckily she didn't seem to have seen it. It was when she asked if he liked hot chocolate that Bucky realized he had been staring at her. He was so used to staring and not talking it was stressful to adjust to the current situation. The brunette simply nodded and reached out for the mug. When he realized he had reached out with his metal arm it was too late. The light reflected off of it and she had already seen it. His fingers twitched before he quickly retracted his hand, pulling it close to his body before lowering his head in embarrassment. His greatest fear had become reality. None of the other Avengers (aside from Steve back when Bucky was the Winter Soldier) had seen his arm, he constantly wore jackets and long sleeve shirts to hide it. It was his source of shame, a constant and eternal reminder of who he was and what he had done. He squeezed his eyes shut as he cursed his carelessness._

_'She's gone, she ran away, she's disgusted by me, she never wants to come in contact with me, she knows I'm a monst-' his self battering was cut short when he dared a glance at the girl and saw her smiling warmly at him, a_ _s if he were a normal man who had lived a normal life. Bucky's face twisted as too many indescribable emotions filled him. She smiled at him once again before she started looking around the room. The girl commented on the size of everything in the tower, and he nodded in agreement. Tony really was an extremist when it came to size._

_Then she went on to say she didn't have electricity in her house which made him wonder where she was from. Somewhere up north since she had said that she wasn't able to grow flowers outside because of the thickness of the snow. Bucky smiled to himself. He knew she would look beautiful surrounded by flowers, she seemed like the type of girl that would braid flowers into her hair. He wanted to see that someday. The flower fanatic in front of him took another sip of her hot beverage and he watched in bewilderment as steam came out of her mouth when she spoke. It was as if there was something cold inside her that was dowsing the heated liquid she consumed. But he pulled himself out of his thoughts as she continued her story._

_"Ugh, but Beatrice, oh the things I could tell you about her. She knew how much I loved my flower garden so whenever I would scold her for doing something she wasn't suppose to be doing, she would poop in my poor garden!"_

_Bucky tried not to choke on his hot coco. The twenty-first century was filled with strange things; the internet, fried food, talking computers, and those weird iPhone things but a girl pooping in a flower garden when she's mad took the cake._

_"Shitty little bluebird," the girl in front of him grumbled under her breath. Relief flooded over Bucky, he was relieved the pretty young woman didn't live with a human who pooped in her flower garden and that this century wasn't as weird as he originally thought._

_The (h/c) girl suddenly looked up at him. "Oh my goodness I'm so sorry for my pointless babbling I-"_

_"Don't stop," Bucky cut her short._

_'Nice one Barnes, that's the perfect way to treat a young lady, by interrupting her and saying something like that,' he screamed at himself._

_B_ _ucky didn't mean to come off as rude, he just wanted to let the girl know that she wasn't bothering him. This was the longest conversation (even though he wasn't really talking) he had ever had. In the past people would only inform him of missions. He had never experienced something as normal as this. Bucky adored everything she said and he wanted her to know that._

_The beauty looked up at him in shock, "You enjoy hearing my silly stories?" she asked jokingly, probably expecting him to be lying._

_"Yes," he honestly replied._

_Oh he hated himself, he hated himself so much. He didn't mean for it to sound like he thought her stories were silly. Granted they were strange, but they were her's and that's all Bucky cared about._

_"Thank you for listening to me. I never really got out much nor have I ever had much contact with people, so being here with you is lovely. I truly enjoy your company," she told him, beaming with happiness._

_Bucky's heartbeat was off the charts. He felt guilty but overjoyed at the same time. He didn't understand why a lovely young woman like her didn't talked to anyone in so long. Maybe because of where she lived or something along those lines. Shame washed over the former killer, he knew she deserved to be socializing with someone better than him, like Steve or someone like that. ANYONE but him, he didn't deserve her company nor her thanks. But for a few moments Bucky casted the negative emotions aside to truly enjoy his time with the angelic being in front of him._

_'No thank you. I never really talk to anyone either and I enjoy being around you. I never want you to stop talking. Don't stop anytime soon. I'll listen to everything you have to say,' Bucky wanted to reply but all he managed to do was nod. She seemed to interpret his action correctly (much to his relief) and continued with another story._

_Bucky's lips stretched into a small smile as he listened to her tales and watched her laugh. He didn't understand what she meant when she said she didn't know 'how to fix' a blizzard or how she could live with deer, bears, and a pack of wolves in her home but the happiness that radiated off of her was contagious, and he found himself smiling. Something that he hadn't done in what felt like an eternity. But his smile disappeared when he looked up and saw the distant look in her eyes and tears streaming down her pretty face._

_"I can't go back," her once lively voice was now monotone and devoid of all emotion. The previously gleeful girl stared down at her mug and he recognized the look on her face. He saw it every time he looked in the mirror; the look of a person who has had everything taken from them and has nothing left to lose. His heart bled for her._

_"I can never go back home. I've lost everything. My forest, my home, my friends, my family...everything I once had, the peace, the serenity, the feeling of being safe...all are gone...and I can't ever go back home..."_

_His heart throbbed when she finally broke down. Bucky cursed himself yet again, not knowing what to do as the poor girl in front of him bowed her head and let the tears rain down her cheeks. Choking on her sobs and gasping for air Bucky felt like he was being tortured again. In the past he had never even spared a second glance at people who cried, he never cared about their sorrow. The only thing he cared about was his mission. But oh how things had changed. He wanted, he wanted so badly it hurt, to ease the girl's wailing. He noticed that some of her tears were in the form of water and others in the form of ice; the tiny crystals shattered when they hit the hard surface of the island._

_"I'm so afraid," she confessed in a small, childlike voice, her words were slightly slurred. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. His hand moved forward to cup the girl's cheek before his common sense could stop him ._

_Her head jerked upwards and stared at him with wide eyes. Bucky had leaned closer to the light and he knew she could see his face a bit clearer. He tried to make sure she could see the look of sympathy and compassion in his eyes. The poor darling choked up, more tears falling from her bambi eyes like a never ending fountain as she melted into his touch. The girl reached up with both hands and pulled his hand closer to her face, sobbing into it._

_His body went completely still. A thousand thoughts raced through his mind but none of them told him what to do as the beautiful girl in front of him sobbed into his hand. The former assassin felt unworthy and disgusted at himself. His hands shouldn't be touching a girl like her; so pure and fragile. But he didn't have the heart to retract his hand. His eyes softened and his body relaxed as he let the pretty girl weep into his hand. Lost in the moment he began to stroke her soft cheek, wiping the tears away and it seemed to comfort her._

_Bucky's touch was softer than he ever thought possible. The hands that had held thousands of lethal weapons and had killed thousands of people had calmed the delicate girl in front of him. Under his touch her loud sobs had become hushed sniffles with an occasional hic. Her small and delicate hands held his much larger one closer to her face._

_'This can't be a pleasant feeling for her.' he thought shamefully to himself as the girl nuzzled her face into his rough palm. Her teary eyes opened and her gaze followed down his arm then stopped where the light ended and the darkness concealed the rest of his body._

_When she had calmed, the sorrowful soul lowered his hand from her face, then let out a small gasp, "Oh my goodness I am so sorry I didn't mean to- I mean- I don't know what came over me I'm so sorry." she stuttered bashfully as she scrabbled to grab a nearby napkin._

_Bucky didn't see what the big deal was, he was just going to wipe his hand on his pants. He had no idea why she was embarrassed, but shamefully enjoyed the deep blush that stained her cheeks. Of course he felt bad, since she was blushing out of embarrassment, 'But she's just so cute when she blushes.' the brunette man thought as he bit his lip again. Bucky was about to scold himself for the indecent gesture but was drawn out of his thoughts when he felt something soft brush against the skin of his palm._

_He stiffened but she was too engrossed in her actions to notice. The girl's slender index finger traced the long line that was at the center of his palm, he tried to ignore the shiver that went down his spine when she unintentionally dragged her nail across his skin. She then moved to stroke the two shorter lines. He felt disgusted for her as she ghosted her fingers over the scars and callouses that littered his hands._

_'How can she stand to touch me?' Bucky thought as he scowled. But her touch was driving him insane, lost in his desire to feel her hands he gently brushed his middle finger against her cool palm. The little dove let out a shaky breath and Bucky struggled to control himself._

_'No, no this isn't right!' Bucky shouted internally, 'Everything about this is wrong'!'_

_He shouldn't even be here with this girl. When she was crying she looked so small and helpless, his desire to protect and comfort her overcame his common sense. He knew not to touch anyone with his blood stained hands. His mind demanded he retract his hand but his body refused to listen. Bucky was drunk on her touch and had no intention of ever sobering up. The former assassin's rough fingers hesitantly touched her palm, and yearned for more. Bucky noticed how much larger his hand was compared to her's, it was a reminder of how delicate she was. His hands had taken countless lives and he would rather die than hurt the girl in front of him. He knew how unworthy he was, how he shouldn't be touching a pure soul like her, but her hand was so soft and cool to the touch and he hungered for more of it. He and the girl had been deprived of touch for so long and neither of them had any plans of stopping. Her lithe fingers brushed against his as they touched each others hands. The gentle soul's fingers danced with his and the coolness radiating from her hand sent him into a realm of serenity and delight. The beauty and the beast ended their dance when they finally realized their fingers had laced themselves together. His fingertips brushed against her knuckles as his thumb caressed the knuckle of her thumb. She melted into his caress and he stared at her._

_'Why the hell does this angelic girl find comfort in my touch?! Doesn't she know who I am?! What I have done?! I need to leave. Now. I don't want to ruin her...' Bucky thought bitterly. The girl's affection was driving him insane, he felt so unworthy, thoughts of guilt and self hatred flooded his mind._

_"Your heart is kind and your hands are gentle," the gift from heaven whispered. His grip on her hand slightly tightened as his metal hand balled into a fist._

_'This isn't happening, this isn't real. You've lost it Barnes no one in this world would ever say that to you. You're a monster, a blood thirsty savage, a curse to this world, no one would ever say that to you.' a horrible voice mocked him and he chose to believe it._

_"I want to see you," the words spilled from her glorious lips like a hushed lullaby laced with desire and yearning._

_Panic surged through Bucky's veins as he hoped he had misheard her. But this world is a cruel place, and she leaned forward and outstretched her free hand. Bucky knew that she wanted to cup his face but he would never allow it. His body finally reacted as he jerked back, tore his hand from her tender hold and sprinted out of the room. Adrenaline pumped wildly through his veins as his legs propelled him down the hall. He climbed over the railing and jumped down the staircase, landing on his feet with a harsh thud. Bucky threw his back against the wall under the staircase and gripped the material of his white tank top where his heart was. He could feel it pounding in his chest and knew it wasn't from the physical 'exercise' he had just done. He squeezed the material harder and punched the wall with his metal fist, leaving a huge indentation in it. The super soldier's knees gave out and he slowly fell to the floor. He banged the wall a few more times and he cursed himself again and again.  
_

_'Why? Why the hell did I do that? She hates me, she hates me so much now.' he tortured himself with the same statement over and over again. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw. 'It's my fault. I should have left as soon as she came in.' his face relaxed and slowly opened his eyes.  
_

_'It's my fault.' the ex-assassin told himself. For some reason he rose from his spot and made his way back to the kitchen. He quickly hid behind the wall and watched the girl from his hiding spot until she stepped into the elevator and left him alone with his regret._

_'I didn't even ask her for her name.'_

 

    Accepting defeat and yielding to the exhaustion that consumed his body, Bucky took the elevator up to his room. Once inside he flopped down on the bed, not even bothering to pull the sheets over himself. Bucky raised his hand to his face then held it close to his chest. Whether what had just happened was a hallucination or reality, he would never forget the sweet angel that blessed him. In those few moments he spent with her;

_He had felt human._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited love of our lives has arrived!!!  
> Hope you enjoyed fluff with Bucky!!  
> The scene where Bucky thinks that Beatrice is a person and she poop's in Reader's garden when angry is the best thing I've ever written.  
> My classes have begun so updates will not be as often (So sorry!) ;m;
> 
> Additional Disclaimer:  
> I do not own the character Beatrice from Over the Garden Wall or anything Over the Garden Wall/Cartoon Network realted


	8. Where the Known Ends and the Unknown Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Everyone,” Natasha began, “This is (Y/N).”

_“A bridge of silver wings_

_Stretches from the dead ashes of an unforgiving nightmare_

_To the jeweled vision of a life started anew.”_

_― Aberjhani,_

_Journey through the Power of the Rainbow:_

_A Life Made Out of Poetry_

~

 

     _You would have given anything to escape this,_

_The same horrid images flashed before your eyes for the millionth time_

_And you were forced to witness scenes of violence you would never recover from_

_With the same agonized scream echoing through your head_

_You were forced to remain in this never ending loop of another’s suffering_

_With no way out_

 

  _You were forced to live in was in what seemed to be the bottom of a ravine. Taking in your surroundings, your eyes widened when you saw a man lying on the ground a few feet in front of you. Because of the distance and blinding wind, you were unable to see him clearly, but you could see that he wore a navy blue uniform. You gasped when you saw the snow around his left arm was drenched in blood and fought the urge to vomit when you saw his severed arm a few feet away from his motionless body. A shaky sigh of relief left your lips when you saw his strong chest rise and fall._

_‘He’s alive!’  Looking up you struggled to see where the ground level ended and the ravine began. There was snow everywhere but it did little good in softening the hard ground._

_'He fell hundreds, maybe thousands of feet but he’s still alive!” Counting the blessings and ignoring the lack of normalcy of the situation at hand you tried to run to him, but your legs wouldn’t move._

_‘I have to get to him! He needs medical attention right away if not he’s going to die!’ But no matter how loudly you commanded your legs to move they wouldn’t budge._

_You gritted your teeth, knowing he was running out of time as you watched the pool of blood surrounding his arm grow bigger and bigger by the second. You shut your eyes tight and cursed your uselessness. As if on cue you heard shouts in the distance. Your eyes shot open and you saw a group of people had found him and were rushing to his side. You heard them yell to the others that the man was indeed alive and you breathed out a sigh of relief._

_‘He’s going to be okay!"_

_Although you were overjoyed that the man had been found, the symbol on the rescuers’ black uniform made you uneasy. The wind became more violent and made it almost impossible to see but you were able to make out a red skull with swirling lines coming out of it. Then suddenly, the world went black._

_Then you woke up in was in an old, dimly lit room. There was a man sitting in a strange chair and a coffin-like box standing against the wall in the corner of the room. The man looked strangely familiar. His chin length auburn hair was messy and unkept but you felt like you had seen or met him before. Your head began to throb as you scoured your mind for the memory of him. But you were drawn from your thoughts when you saw a group of people in white coats walk into the room. They talked amongst themselves then turned to the man in the chair who was staring at the wall; as if his mind were in another world. The group looked at him one last time before calling for a soldier. A group of armed men enter the room, the people clad in white coats said something you couldn’t make out then pointed to the man in the chair. The soldiers nodded as they made their way to the brunette man. You gasped as the man was yanked out of the chair and started screaming and thrashing as the soldiers dragged him towards the vertical metal box in the corner of the room. You had no idea what was happening but you knew it wasn’t good._

_Thanking Heaven that you were able to move your legs, you raced towards them and raised your fist to strike a soldier’s head. But your fist went right through him. Shocked and confused, you tried to attack the soldier again, but your fist went straight through him yet again. It was as if you were made of steam or some sort of gas that couldn’t touch solid objects. The throbbing in your head intensified as you helplessly watched the brunette man being shoved in the metal box, a thick metal bar sealed him inside. The man began to pound against the door but lost heart when he realized his attacks did nothing to his indestructible cage. A short man with big circular glasses stepped forward and spoke to the confined man through the little window that was in the door. You couldn’t hear the short man’s exact words but he had a German like accent, maybe Swiss? Once he had finished his monologue he pressed a button next to the box and ice began to fill the casket. Everyone left the room and left the caged man to die alone. He slowly closed his eyes as the ice climbed its way up his body and accepted his fate. You ran to his soon to be coffin and pounded your fist on the glass._

_“Don’t close your eyes! I’m going to get you out of there! I’m going to save you do you hear me?! Just don’t close your eyes!!” you yelled as you sobbed. The pulsating in your head was making it difficult to concentrate but you continued to pound on the casket even though your fist when through it every time. The ice was already up to his neck but you still believed you could save him._

_“What did I just say dumbass?! Don’t close your eyes open them right now!!” you choked out as tears streamed down your face. The man seemed to have heard you as his lips stretched into an amused smile. The ice was creeping up his face and you placed your hand on the glass, accepting the bitter truth that you couldn’t save him; but at least be with him in his final moments._

_“Please open your eyes…” you cried as the pounding in your head intensified to the point of passing out. He seemed to have heard your request and opened his eyes. Never in all your life had you ever seen such a beautiful shade of azure. He placed his hand over yours and even though the glass blocked your hands from touching he seemed to be comforted by it. The man looked at you one last time before closing his eyes as the ice consumed him. Your shriek of anguish was cut short when a sharp pain pierced your head. The pain dulled all your senses and you hadn’t even noticed the ground beneath you had disappeared. Your hand slid down the glass as you were dragged down. You looked at the man one last time before letting yourself fall into the black abyss that awaited you._

 

     You woke with a violent jolt. Your body threw itself forward as you gasped for air. Your knuckles turned white as you gripped the sheets below you and tried to regulate your erratic breathing. When your body had relaxed (somewhat) you tried to remember your nightmare but to no avail. You had no memory of the dream or what was so horrible about it that made your body react so drastically. The throbbing in your head had turned to…knocking? Pulled out of your thoughts you realized that someone was knocking on your door. Taking a moment to compose yourself you walked over and opened the door to find the pretty woman from before. Natasha was her name if you remembered correctly.

     “Hey Sleeping Beauty, good to see you’re awake,” Natasha lightly teased with a grin on her face. You looked out the window that was in your room and saw that the moon was already high in the sky. Glancing over to the clock on the wall, you realized it was eight o’clock on the dot.

     While you were looking over your shoulder Natasha took in your current state. Your (h/l) (h/c) was severely bed wrangled and your nightgown was covered in wrinkles and creases. The observant woman also noticed the thin layer of ice that covered your forehead and palms. And how could she miss the giant streaks of ice that covered the floor and wall around your bed? Natasha chose to ignore the oversized black leather jacket you wore because she knew exactly who it belonged to. Anger took seed within her at the thought of him getting near you.

 _‘How and when did she come in contact with him? He wouldn’t come into her room while she was asleep…would he?’_ Her anger turned to boiling rage at the thought. Your gentle voice dowsed the flame within her and she snapped back to reality.

     “How long have I been asleep?” you asked as you rubbed the sleepiness from your eye. Natasha smiled at the cute gesture.

     “Three days, this would have been the fourth.” Natasha replied in a steady voice. She hid her rage well and you didn’t seem to have noticed.

     Your eyes widened and your cheeks flushed in embarrassment at her answer. “Oh my goodness I’m so sorry!”

     Natasha’s confusion showed on her face. “Why are you apologizing silly? I would have let you keep sleeping but there’s something that needs to be done....” The scarlet haired woman informed you. You tilted your head to the side and questioned her later statement before asking what was the task at hand.

     “The team wants to meet you!” Natasha beamed, trying to make her voice as cheerful and excited as possible. Your eyes widened as a ball of nerves formed in your stomach. Your ice reacted and began to grow around your feet. Natasha had anticipated this and had a plan.

     “Everyone is looking forward to meeting you!” The emerald eye woman knew that she was pushing it with her overly gleeful voice but it seemed to be easing you out of your anxious state.

     “No need to be nervous, they’re a bunch of goofballs," she joked, hoping it would help ease your anxiety.

     You smiled and felt a little less nervous. Natasha gently placed her hand on your back and urged you on. Choosing to comply, you took a step out of the safety of your room and began walking with her. You had felt a bit braver when you had stepped out of your room but now that you were approaching the glass walk way you began to feel anxious. Once again the ice mirrored your emotion, forming on your feet and spreading.

     Natasha immediately noticed this but what she had never noticed was how beautiful your ice was. As soon as your foot touched the ground a dim light would shine and a chime like sound would gently ring out as the glistening ice would flare out into a flower; delicate and ornate as you. The flowers were the same shade of crystal blue with glittering diamonds that rose from the ice and sparkled even in the darkest of rooms. Each flower was slightly different, but the petals were completely symmetrical. Small and elegant swirls would spiral out from in between the petals and curl when your foot left the ground. Natasha smiled and looked behind her. The Black Widow found it befitting; you left a trail of flowers in your wake.But Natasha saw the closer you got to the glass walkway, the bigger the flowers became. She knew she had to distract you.

     “See how that glass is different from the others?” the woman next to you said as she pointed. You followed her finger and saw how one of the glass sheets of the walkway was a different shade than the others. You nodded and looked back at her.

     “A couple of months back Tony stole Sam’s backpack and decided to fly around the tower. He sucked at it and crashed into that glass. He had to get a couple of hundred stitches but that didn’t stop him. A few weeks later he stole it again.” Your eyes widened and your mouth hung open in surprise and amusement. 

     “What did he break that time?” you asked with a grin on your face. Natasha laughed then pointed to the indentation on the right side of the elevator linings. You didn’t know who Tony was or what Natasha meant by Sam’s “backpack” but the silly story had calmed your nerves and because of it you hadn’t even noticed that you were right in front of the elevator.

     Natasha pressed a button and the doors opened. She stepped inside and saw your nervousness. “No need to worry, this elevator is as safe as it gets; nothing bad as ever happened in it. Well, except the time Thor left Mjölnir in here and no one could use the elevator till he came back.” The emerald eyed woman finished with a grin. You had no idea what Mil-Mall-Milly whatever was nor who Thor was but if Natasha trusted the elevator then so did you. With the thought in mind you stepped inside. Once the door closed you began to feel more nervous than you had felt all day. Your ice spread from your feet and covered most of the floor. Natasha knew she had to think of something fast.

     “Never get in an elevator with Steve.” the woman next to you warned. You looked up at her, with a scared but curious expression.

     “He still hasn’t figured out how to work it so when he gets in, he presses every button that leads up to that floor," she saw your ice recede then continued.

     “For example, if he wants to go to the seventh floor, he’ll press the button to the first floor, then the second, then the third and so on. He gets frustrated because of course, the elevator stops at every floor when he ‘operates’ it and doesn’t when the rest of us it use it. No one has told him how to use it properly because it’s so funny.” Natasha finished with a wide grin stretched across her face.

     You giggled at the thought of Steve not knowing how to work the elevator. You had been so engrossed in Natasha’s silly story that you failed to notice the elevator had stopped and you had reached the floor where the others were waiting for you. The scarlet haired woman walked out of the elevator while you hesitated, but stepped out when she gave you a gentle smile. You felt a heavy pressure in your chest as you and Natasha approached the room where the others were. You could hear the group chatting but their voices were muffled so you couldn’t understand what they were saying. Natasha led you down another hallway but stopped when she felt something tug on her shirt.

     “I can’t do this.....” you confessed in a shaky voice.

     Natasha turned around and saw that you had grabbed the end of her blouse. Your eyes were fixated on the floor but she could see the thick tears forming in your eyes as you gripped the side of your nightgown as if it were your lifeline. An icy flower began to form at your feet and grew into a large blossom. It would have been a beautiful sight if it hadn’t been tied to your anxiety and fear. Natasha turned to you. The infamous Black Widow pulled you to her chest and let you cry while she stroked your (h/c) locks. After you had calmed she pulled you back and gently placed her hands on your shoulders which caused you to look up at her with teary eyes.

     “Do you trust me (Y/N)?” Natasha cooed. Your eyes widened.

     “How do you know my real name?” Natasha’s brow furrowed and a sorrowful smile stained her face with worry and concern.

     “You told me your name when we first met, don’t you remember (Y/N)?” she asked, slightly worried that the incident with the avalanche had affected you cognitively. You shook your head as you tried to recall the memory but Natasha’s words pulled you out of your thoughts.

     “(Y/N), I would never put you in a dangerous situation nor would I ever let anything or anyone harm you,” she spoke in a calm voice but sincere tone.

     “The people in the next room are total goofballs but are good at heart. They want to protect you and keep you safe, just like I do.” Her words were sincere but you still felt uneasy. You looked up at her and the same thought as earlier came into your mind.

 

_‘This woman will never harm me…’_

 

     “What if they don’t like me…?” you confessed your worry. Natasha shook her head as she laughed, making you feel embarrassed for asking such a silly question.

     “Oh (Y/N), I’m more worried about _you_ liking _them_!” her reply made you feel a bit better but you were still anxious. Natasha realized that you would still be scared regardless of what she said. You were pulled out of your thoughts when Natasha held out her hand and offered it to you.

     “I know you’re scared (Y/N), but I’m here for you,” the woman in front of you cooed as you placed your hand in hers’. She gave your hand a reassuring squeeze before walking towards the room where the Avengers were. You looked up at her as she walked in front of you. Natasha was so brave and sure of herself. So confident and always in control. You admired her so much. You wanted to be like her.

_‘Is this what it’s like to have an older sister…?’_

      When you had finally entered the room you took in your surroundings. The lights were dim but you were able to see it was the entertainment room you had passed by last night. Like everything else in the tower, the room was huge. The ceiling was higher than necessary and there were larger than life windows to the right of the room. A massive TV hung on the wall and several white sofas were in a circle (more of a square since the sofas were long and straight) at the center of the room. Natasha cleared her throat and ten pairs of eyes turned to you. Being the center of everyone’s attention made your ice react as a crystal flower began to bloom at your feet. The Avengers saw this and finally began to believe that there was much more to you than met the eye.

     You hid behind Natasha. _‘I feel like a mom introducing her shy kid to the class on the first day of preschool.’_ She held back a laugh but let her smile show. The amused woman gave your hand a reassuring squeeze and gently pulled you forward in hopes you would stand next to her but was satisfied when you took a baby step out of your hiding place. 

     “Everyone,” Natasha began, “This is (Y/N).”

     You fidgeted when she introduced you by your real name. It had been centuries since someone had called you that…

     You gasped and returned to your hiding place behind Natasha when you heard them get up and approach you, the flower at your feet swirled and grew. Natasha shot a look at the group, silently telling them to be gentle with you which made them stop in place…well, most of them…

     “Her majesty has finally awoken! We are ever grateful that you have graced us with your presence!” a dramatic voice proclaimed. Your head turned in the voice’s direction and you saw a man approach you. He was holding a glass of what you guessed (based on the strong smell) was alcohol and wondered if he was tipsy. The man was brunette with a small amount of facial hair and a circle at the center of his chest that was…glowing…? You didn’t understand what he was talking about but his silliness caused you to curiously peek over Natasha’s shoulder and your ice receded.

     “Can it Stark. Don’t start annoying her on her first day.” Natasha bit back. ‘Stark’ placed his hand over his heart and exaggerated a shocked expression.

      You giggled and took a little step out of your hiding place. Your ice mirrored your change of emotion and the flower at your feet shrunk.    

     “Don’t pay too much attention to him (Y/N). The famous Tony Stark; part time Iron Man and millionaire, full time asshole.” Natasha said with a smirk. You bit your lip in hopes of hiding a smile but it wasn’t working. Your ice had almost completely disappeared except for the small bud the remained at your feet.

     “Hey. My tower, my rules,” he resorted in a fake stern voice as he pointed at Natasha. The woman next to you rolled her eyes amusingly at his attics. You tried to hold back a laugh but failed. Tony gave you a toothy grin and winked at you. _‘I think I’m going to like Tony.’_

     “You’ve already met Sam and Steve,” Natasha said as she gestured in their direction. They were sitting near each other and both nodded and smiled at you. You were so happy to see familiar faces that you happily returned the gesture. When you looked away Steve’s smile dropped. He saw the jacket you were wearing and knew exactly who it belonged to. The super soldier looked out of the corner of his eye, trying to catch a glimpse of the figure that loomed in the corner of the room, concealed by the shadows.

     “That’s Clint over there, official president of Bird Club,” Natasha teased as the man with spiked hair pumped his fist proudly into the air. You perked up and immediately came out of your hiding place,

     “You have a bird club?!” you beamed in excitement.

      Clint paused for a moment then looked into your sparkling eyes and smiled, “...Of course we do.”

    You gasped and hopped in place while smiling wildly. It was a white lie, but he didn’t have the heart to tell you there never was a bird club. Your joy quickly turned to fear when you heard a thunderous voice shatter the serenity of the room.

     “LADY (Y/N) ‘TIS A PLEASURE TO FINALLY MEET YOUR ACQUAINTANCE!!” a voice boomed, which caused you to gasp and your ice came to life. You snapped your head in the direction of the voice and saw a beautiful man in fantasy like clothing and a breathtaking smile quickly approaching you. Regardless of his attractiveness, when he got too close you flinched and your ice shot up to protect you. The man stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the thick, jagged sheet of ice that had formed a barrier between you and him.

     “Easy Thor, she’s shy.” Natasha warned in a scolding voice. Thor’s excitement turned to regret and seriousness. You opened your eyes to look at him and he bowed his head, a few strands of his gorgeous blonde hair fell over his shoulder.

     “I apologize for my brash behavior Lady (Y/N). I offer my deepest apologizes for scaring you,” he said in a sincere tone, you looked into his shining aquamarine eyes and saw his remorse. You thought his manner and speech as well as his clothes were strange but saw that he was gentle at heart. Your shield lowered as you smiled at him.

     “I-It’s alright, I get scared easily,” you confessed with a blush. He apologized once more before carefully reaching over the ice to gently take your hand and kiss the back of it. Your face flushed a deep shade of vermillion as he pulled back and gave you another one of his otherworldly smiles before stepping away, leaving you to control your racing heart. But another voice spoke out and forced your mind to return to reality.

     “See brother? It is as I said; she is no Jötunn,” a sly voice stated.

     The man who had spoken was wearing clothing that was similar to Thor’s, the only difference being that his clothes were a deep green and gold. His black hair was slicked back and his skin was very pale. He had a smirk on his face as he swaggered towards you. No amount of will power could keep you from twisting your face in disgust as the cocky man approached you. Back when you had lived in society, you had gotten a lot of attention from men, some were polite and humble and others were…like him. You sensed no ill will from him, he just seemed…mischievous… Your ice swirled around you as your irritation became more and more obvious but he didn’t seem to be paying attention to it. _‘I hate cocky bastards like him.’_

     “Yes, she is far, far too fair to be a Jötunn,” he looked down at you as if he was scheming something. The arrogant man looked down at you and his smirk grew wider and in return your glare intensified.

     “As a matter of fact, she is fairer than any mortal I have ever seen,” he purred in a seductive manner which made you want to vomit. The pale man reached out and grabbed your chin but before he could say anything else you slapped his hand away.

     “The next time you touch me, will be the **last time you have hands,** ” you snarled through your teeth as your ice spiked up. The sound of the slap and your words rang across the room and you heard muffled laughs, snorts, and someone spit out their drink but you were too focused on glaring at the bastard in front of you. His body was frozen in place as he stared at you with wide eyes. Then he relaxed and he placed both hands behind his back as his arrogant smirk returned.

     “She’s feisty for a mortal…I like her.”

     That was the exact reaction you didn’t want. Then he went silent. The mischievous man turned serious as he stared down at you. He studied you as if he had seen something strange in your eyes but his face returned to normal and his annoying smirk returned. You thanked the stars when he slowly backed away from you. His eyes were fixated on yours when he outstretched his arms and vanished into thin air, leaving only a thin slither of green energy in his wake. You stared at the steam with the most expressionless face humanly possible. If his little magic tricks were meant to impress you, it wasn’t working.

_‘Big deal I can control ice.’_

     Once he had disappeared the room burst into laughter. “(Y/N) that was the best thing I’ve ever seen!” Clint exclaimed, as he wiped a tear from his eye.

     “Yah the best part was when he left,” you mumbled through gritted teeth as the room erupted into laughter once again. Natasha looked at you with a proud grin, overjoyed that you had put Loki in his place. _‘That’s my girl!’_

     “Please have patience with my brother Loki, Lady (Y/N) he is…different,” Thor struggled with the last word of his statement and you didn’t blame him. You smiled at him and nodded. _‘Be strong (Y/N), be strong for Thor.’_

 

     “That’s Doctor Bruce Banner,” Natasha stated when the room had calmed. Your eyes followed her finger and saw a timid man with brunette hair and glasses sitting away from the others.

      “He’s the poor soul who has to patch these idiots up when they hurt themselves.” Natasha informed you. 

 Your first impression of Bruce was that he seemed reclusivebut then again, with this rowdy bunch, you couldn't _blame him._ Bruce greeted you with a smile and small wave which you returned, the only difference being your smile was brighter and your wave was more energetic. He let out a breathy laugh but before you could react you felt a rush of air blow in your face and a man appear in front of you out of nowhere. Your ice spiked up to protect you from the oncoming threat but he went around your ice.

     Before you stood a smiling man with black and white hair (you wondered if he dyed it like that or if it were natural) and sparkling cerulean eyes filled with energy. You would have been lying if you had said he wasn’t attractive. He seemed to have noticed your blush as he reached out for your hand, kissed it then placed it on his chest right over his heart.

     “I could have never have prepared myself to meet a girl as beautiful as you (Y/N),” he spoke with a heavily accented English. Before you could thank him he continued, “(Y/N) your (e/c) eyes shine like the stars above and your (h/c) locks shine like-“ you had tuned him out at this point.

     You had always received compliments from men so this was nothing new to you. With every ‘poetic’ phrase he got sappier and sappier, but after Loki you were grateful for his somewhat charming words. You knew his intentions were good but he honestly sucked at it. You were abruptly pulled out of your thoughts when he had stopped his cheesy compliments and leaned down and kissed your cheek. You blushed a deep vermillion as your hand flew up to touch the cheek he had kissed.

     “Bet you didn’t see that coming?” he remarked with a wink.

     “PIETRO!” a feminine voice shrieked. Pietro winced then raced back to his place on the couch and left a trail of blue energy behind him. Even though he was faster than the eye could see the girl beside him still managed to whack the back of his head. A beautiful girl rose from her seat and emerged from the shadows.

     “You’ll have to forgive my brother (Y/N), his feet are faster than his mouth,” she apologized, her words heavy with the same accent as Pietro. The girl turned to her brother and gave him a half scolding half teasing look. Pietro crossed his arms over his chest and grumbled as his cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

     “Hello (Y/N), my name is Wanda Maximoff, and that is my brother Pietro,” she gestured at the man who had kissed you.

     Wanda was the only person to have introduced herself normally which you were ever grateful for. She was beautiful, her long auburn hair was parted down the middle and curled outwards which flattered her face wonderfully. Her outfit had a mixture of scarlet and black colors which brought out her eyes. Her eyes were evergreen and captivating. Not only because they were beautiful but because they drew you in and told you a million stories. They consumed your heart and took you to another world unseen by others. You felt it the moment you saw her, she had a wise and otherworldly aura around her.

     “We girls stick together, we’re the backbone of this team. Someone has to keep these boys in one piece,” Natasha lightly joked.

 _‘Looks like I have my hands full!’_   You turned to her and shared her amusement then turned back to Wanda who was watching you intently. You only got a glimpse of her calculative stare but you had seen that she was looking at you the same way Loki did, as if there was something strange about you that they couldn’t figure out.

 _‘Is there something on my face?’_ you thought and suddenly felt self-conscience. But Wanda was fast and you had only seen her observant look for a split second before a smile graced her lovely face.

     Your smile faded and was replaced with a look of curiosity when Steve rose from his seat and made his way towards you. He focused his gaze on you and ignored the intense glare Natasha was sending him.

     _‘Not today Steve. Preferably not ever!’_

     But Natasha’s thoughts weren’t able to reach him for obvious reasons. The super soldier didn’t even spare a glance towards his trusted teammate despite feeling her glare burn into him. You had captivated his attention and smiled when he was near you. He stood to your right and returned the gesture. You didn’t understand why his face was so stiff but his soft, yet direct voice called for your full attention.

 

_“(Y/N), there’s someone I want you to meet.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College is brutal so thank you for all your words of encouragement!!
> 
> Regarding the chapter:  
> -Writing the silly stories was my favorite part!  
> -Tony is the weird uncle you never asked for but got anyways  
> -Reader ain't having none of Loki's shit  
> -MAMA BEAR NATASHA IS MY WEAKNESS
> 
> I will try to update as often as possible! I'm so sorry for the delays!


	9. The Difference Between Dreams and Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You tasted his name on your tongue and the sweetness it left in your mouth was intoxicating. His body trembled and his touch stuttered.

_“Your hand touching mine._

_This is how galaxies collide.”_

_― Sanober Khan_

_~_

_“(Y/N), there’s someone I want you to meet.”_

 

_You have always had a love/hate relationship with dreams._

_Some nights you were lucky enough to have pleasant ones, Unfortunately most nights you had terrible nightmares._

_But as Steve gestured to the figure standing in the back of the room covered by the shadows;_

_you prayed that this wasn’t a dream._

 

     Your eyes strained to see the man Steve was introducing you to. Only a small portion of the man’s body was visible and the rest was covered by the darkness he had hidden himself in. He was leaning on the wall with his arms were crossed over his broad chest but when he saw you his body tensed. You didn’t know who he was, until you saw his hand. A breathless gasp escaped your lips because you knew exactly who he was.

     Natasha stiffened next to you as you made your way towards the man. Steve watched you with confusion written across his face. The other Avengers parted to move out of your way as you slowly approached the man. You didn’t even feel your feet touch the ground, the world around you had disappeared and the only thing that existed was the man your gaze was transfixed on. He had moved off of the wall and was standing straight but you could see every muscle in his body was tense. You could only pray he didn’t run away this time, and he didn’t.

     Time had stopped when you stood in front of him. You gazed up at him, the tears forming in your eyes did nothing to hide the dreamlike trance you were in. You slowly raised your hand in front of you, a nonverbal plea for touch that only the man from last night would know how to answer. He stared at your hand for what felt like an eternity, then returned his unreadable eyes back to you. Doubt and shame filled you as the tears in your eyes threatened to spill at any given second. You felt like a fool for believing the man from last night was real and your eyes fell to the floor. Embarrassed and disheartened, you slowly lowered your hand. You were snapped out of your misery when you felt a sudden and familiar warmth brush against your palm. Your body came to life at the touch and you gasped. A shaky breath left your lips when you looked up and saw his hand gently caressing yours. You closed your eyes and allowed a stray tear to fall down your cheek. Raising your eyes to meet his you saw his beautiful lips had stretched into a small smile. He caressed your hand just like he had the previous night and you yet again melted into his touch. You ran your index finger along the long line of his palm and felt him shiver. The waltz you had danced together the previous night was relived with as much hunger for touch as before. Once again your dance finished when your fingers had intertwined with his. You looked up at him, your eyes glazed with euphoria. His eyes shown with an emotion that couldn’t be put into words; you had completely ensnared all his senses and he had no intention of returning to reality.

     “(Y/N), this is Bucky; Bucky this is (Y/N)...” Steve’s perplexed voice drew you out of your trance for a moment, but you were drawn right back by the man gently touching you.

 

_“Bucky…”_

 

     You tasted his name on your tongue and the sweetness it left in your mouth was intoxicating. His body trembled and his touch stuttered. You smiled up at him, He had such a cute name for an intimidating man like him. You saw his mouth move but a sudden blinding light flashed in the room. Bucky’s face was illuminated for a split second but the light and your shriek yanked you back to reality.

     That’s when it caught your eye; you stared at the window in disbelief. You slowly advanced in the direction of the massive windows. Your fingers untangled and fell from Bucky’s gentle grip. He tried to recapture your hand but you were already too far away. Locked in a daze you approached the larger than life window and stared out when you had finally reached it. Looking out you were indeed in a tower that gave you a breathtaking view of the world below.

     The lights of the city were beautiful. Some were bright, some were dim; some were flashing and others were moving on the ground below. You could see the shadows of the people below bustling about, each living their own individual and unique life.

     The buildings were beautiful. They seemed like tiny toy blocks compared to the mighty tower you were currently in. Some were tall others were small, some were modern and futuristic, some were humble in size and design.

     The body of water in the distance was beautiful. The moon that was high in the sky illuminated the water and made it look like it was made of thousands of diamonds. You looked up at the sky and barely saw any stars but the stars you could see where moving fast and blinking red and white.

 

_Everything was absolutely beautiful,_

_In the worst way possible._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE MAN OF OUR DREAMS HAS FINALLY SHOWN HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE (well not really but guess what's in the next chapter*hinthint**)  
> I'm super proud of myself for posting so frequently but this may change. It all depends on how my classes go. Thank you for all your support everyone!! ;w;


	10. The Decay of Hope and Sanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your ice reflected the emotions, raising from the floor in gnarled and twisted thorns and surrounding you as the ice on the floor began to spread and little spikes of ice rose from the once sleek and smooth sheets of ice.

**TRIGGER WARNING: ANXIETY please read safely!**

 

 

 

 

_“…But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams_

_His shadow shouts on a nightmare scream_

_his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing…”_

_— Maya Angelou,_

_Caged Bird (The Complete Collected Poems)_

~

 

     "Where am I?" you asked in a small voice, not taking your eyes from the scene below you. The silence that followed your question made anger boil inside you, your ice reacted. It's once lovely and ornate, shining, crystal colored swirls had been replaced with jagged, cobalt colored streaks. Your ice violently protruded from the area around you, it was as if the ice was surrounding you in a shield made of thick, dark, lethal thorns.

     "I said; Where.Am.I?" you growled in a dangerously low voice. Your chest was heaving as anger fused with panic. Your ice reflected the emotions, raising from the floor in gnarled and twisted thorns and surrounding you as the ice on the floor began to spread and little spikes of ice rose from the once sleek and smooth sheets of ice.

     **"WHERE DID YOU TAKE ME?!"**  you screamed as thick crystal tears fell from your eyes. You whirled around and glared at the Avengers with blinding florescent blue eyes. Your tears prevented you from seeing clearly but their speechless, dumbfounded expressions fed the ever growing rage inside you. But your fear had always been more powerful than your fury.

     "Please tell me where I am!!" you were struggling to breathe since yelling and sobbing didn't leave much room for breathing. Even with all the ice swirling around, ready to protect you, awaiting your command; you felt so small and helpless.

     "You're in Stark Tower, in Manhattan, New York, USA." you heard Tony answer slowly, careful not to make any loud noises or say anything that could rile you up and make things worse; but oh how he failed.

 

     Your head shot up and the gasp that left your lips consumed all the air you had left in your lungs. Staring up at the high ceiling the horrid memories of the last time you were in this accursed country flooded your mind. All thoughts of trying to control your breathing were abandoned as your knees buckled and you fell to the floor with a harsh thud. Landing hard on your knees you took your head into your hands and let out an ear piercing scream. Your ice reflected your manic state as it climbed up the walls of the interior of the tower. Once it had reached the top, thick, dangerously sharp icicles formed and hung from the ceiling, ready to fall and impale anyone who was a threat to you. You had begun to hyperventilate, a thousand thoughts raced through your mind causing you to fall deeper and deeper into the horrid realm of anxiety and your nails biting into the sides of your head weren't helping. Your fingers had turned blue and your face was deathly pale due to the lack of oxygen.

     _'Don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it!!'_ you mentally repeated to yourself, trying to block the triggering memories but it wasn't any use. 

_'The adventure gone wrong, the girls with the pretty bows in their hair...'_

     Tasting a metallic liquid in your mouth you had realized that you had been biting down on your tongue. The crimson liquid dripped down the side of your mouth and fell on the ice below you. Thinking you were in more danger, more icy thorns grew around you. The temperature of the room was well below zero and if you were ordinary, you would have seen your shaky breaths come out in white puffs. But you weren't ordinary. You had learned that when-

     "Lady (Y/N)..." a gentle voice called. You looked up and saw Thor approaching you. His glorious hair was flowing around him as your ice continued to swirl. Thor gazed at you with a tender look in his eyes.

     _'This man is a good person...his voice is so gentle...so much compassion for a monster like me...he has to stay away from me! I'm a feral beast I'm going to hurt him!'_ you screamed at yourself as your ice thickened. Thor's intentions were pure but you told yourself that you were unworthy.

     "Lady (Y/N) please..." Thor cooed as he took another step forward. The simple action made you snap.

    **"NO STAY BACK!!"** you shrieked and threw your hands in front of you to keep him away. From your hands sprouted a crescent row of razor sharp icicles. They grew abruptly from the ground and Thor had only seconds to dodge them. He succeeded, but knew he wouldn't be so lucky next time.

     Your hands flew to cover your mouth, more thick crystals fell from your glowing florescent eyes. Thor looked at you with wide eyes; finally realizing how powerful you were. Your gaze shot around the faces of the others in the room. Earth's mightiest heroes watched you with mortified eyes and fearful expressions. These people, these kind people who had made you laugh and welcomed you into their home, saw you for what you believed you truly were; a monster. For the first time since you succumbed to hysteria, you looked around and saw what you had done to the room.

     "Oh no, no, n-no I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, P-Please forgive me I meant you no harm please forgive me I'm so sorry." your babbled words were slurred and raspy from your screams.

     "I'm normal, I'm normal, please believe me I'm not a monster I mean you no harm I would never hurt any of you! I'm normal I'm normal I promise I'm normal!" you lied as you wrapped your arms around yourself, as if trying to hold your breaking heart and mind together.

     But everyone knew your words were a blatant lie as the ice continued to consume more and more of the room and the temperature plummeted to a degree that was beginning to affect the bodies of the team. You accepted that your earlier statement was obvious dishonesty as your head fell to your hands in bitter defeat.

     "It's my fault. I'm so sorry it’s all my fault. I'm a monster I don't deserve your kindness. I'm a monster that's why I exiled myself from society. I'm so sorry. I can't be around normal people without hurting them! They're lucky if they walk away with their lives! It's all my fault..."

 

     "(Y/N), please listen to us, you are not what you say you are..." you heard Wanda gently rebuke your false claim. You were triggered by the sound of her footsteps.

 

     **"NO PLEASE STAY BACK I'M DANGEROUS!!"** you screamed as you yet again threw your hands in front of you, only harder this time. You didn't even have time to register your action before it happened, you couldn't control your body. Pietro sprinted towards Wanda and saved her before the giant spikes of ice could impale her. The siblings looked at you with shocked expressions, Wanda still in her brother's arms. Oh you'd give anything to turn back the wheels of time. But this world is a cruel place and all you could do was cry. You wondered when your body would finally run out of tears or when your eyes would fall out; but from the looks of it, it wasn't going to stop anytime soon. More and more shining crystals fell from your blinding florescent eyes.

     "Please. Please just stay away from me." you wailed in a broken voice.

     You leaned your exhausted and broken body against the glass window behind you that was covered in ice. Once your back hit the window;

 

_The glass shattered,_

_And you slowly felt yourself falling._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies!  
> I added a trigger warning at the beginning of the story because I didn't want anyone to be triggered. I suffer from a few mental illnesses myself and I want everyone to be safe.
> 
> Regarding the chapter:  
> -I am American myself so I meant no offense to my country it's just part of the Reader's backstory. (For those of you asking my mother is from Argentina and my father is Mexican-American, Hispanic pride woot!!)  
> -I want everyone to know that you as a person are lovely and important. Regardless of what has happened in your life you are beautiful and you matter! Stay strong my loves!!
> 
> Also I have a little secret to tell all of you. So chapters #7-11 was once all one HUGE chapter. I was writing the entire thing on Evernote but something happened AND I LOST THE ENTIRE THING //SOBS  
> So that's why I'm posting so many chapters at once /w\
> 
> Once again, thank all of you so much for your words of encouragement it means THE WORLD TO ME!!  
> Next chapter will be fluff I promise!!


	11. The Touch That Challenged the Ice’s Wrath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm real." you whispered in reply, pressing your palm closer to his face to prove your point.

 

_“I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell;_

_I would know him blind,_

_by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth..."_

_— Madeline Miller, (The Song of Achilles)_

~

 

     You heard the Avengers shout and run towards you but your ice blocked them from reaching you. Some began to break the ice, others began climbing and squeezing their way through the deadly maze.

     You felt the wind stroke your back and comb its fingers through your (h/c) locks. Your vision was blurred as more crystals came from your eyes and flew upwards, the opposite direction of your descending body.

     _'It's so peaceful.'_ you thought to yourself in a hushed whisper as your body began to fall from Stark Tower. Part of you was scared. You heard the muffled yells of the Avengers as they struggled to reach you and knowing your ice couldn't save you. In the back your mind you considered accepting your fate.

 _'Maybe it's better this way...everyone would be safe...'_ You closed your eyes when you felt your feet come off the floor and embraced your fate.

     You were yanked out of your twisted serenity when you felt something roughly grab your hand. The hand stopped you from falling as you dangled from the person's hold. You felt a sharp pain in your arm, the sting spread through your entire body which caused you to wince. The grip of the person seemed vaguely familiar, 'I know that hand, that touch.' You gasped when you saw your savior.

 

_"Bucky..."_

 

     His name was carried away by the strong wind that swayed your body but you knew he had heard it. His face was twisted in pain as he struggled to keep you steady. Your eyes had turned back to their normal (e/c) color and liquid tears began glistening in the moonlight. He was partially hanging out of the building and had only one foot inside the tower that he used to anchor himself. His metal arm grasped the side of the shattered window and his iron grip was the only thing keeping the two of you from falling. You were glad it was his metal hand that was holding the frame of the window, the ice and shattered glass would have shredded his human hand to ribbons. He looked down at you with fear in his eyes, and you knew he had been afraid when the glass had given way and you had begun to fall. You looked up at his handsome face and smiled. Now, finally, you could see him. He had chin length brown hair that flowed in the wind, a strong jaw and the same tempting lips. His eyes, the color of his eyes made your heart skip a beat and your smile grow. Never in all your life had you seen such a beautiful shade of azure.

     You were snapped out of your fantasies when you saw Bucky's handsome face twist in pain. He looked back when he heard the frame of the window moan, ready to snap at any given second.

 _'It's now or never'_   the super soldier thought to himself. You saw the large muscles in Bucky's arm tense and constrict before you felt yourself being roughly yanked forward.

     The sound that left your lips was a mixture of a gasp and a cry of pain. You flew forward and collided into his strong chest as Bucky used his body to cushion your fall and protect you from the shattered glass that littered the floor. The two of you fell back with a harsh thud that hurt, but you knew Bucky had taken the worst of the fall. You laid on top of his body for what seemed like an eternity as you regulated your breathing. He panted for air and the rise and fall of his chest lulled you out of the little panic that remained. He held you close and tight to his hard body. His metal arm had constricted itself securely around your waist and his human hand cupped the back of your head. The embrace he had you in made you feel safe, and you knew that nothing could ever harm you as long as you were in his arms. Your head rested on his chest as you listen to his heartbeat. It was pounding hard and fast at first, but eventually slowed, its steady rhythm calmed you. You closed your eyes to focus on the gentle sound and to enjoy the warmth of his broad chest.

     You were drawn out of your dreamlike trance when you felt a hand brush against your cheek. Still laying on his chest, you looked up at Bucky. He wiped the tears-you had never felt fall-from your cheeks. Once your tears had been dried, Bucky gently grabbed your hand and placed it on his cheek. He nuzzled into your palm, the course hairs of his stubble tickled your skin. Your savior placed one of his metal digits under your chin and lifted your face to look at him.

 

_"You're not a monster."_

 

     Those were the first words he had spoken to you and it was what you needed to hear the most. 'You're not a monster.' you played back his words in your mind as you burned his voice into your memory. He squeezed your hand and pressed it closer to his face, his hair surrounded his head as he laid on the floor making it look like he had a halo. His tender words and his heavenly touch caused you to break down into tears. You fell back on his body, gripping his t-shirt and burying your face into his toned chest. Your liquid tears wet his shirt but he didn't seem to mind. Hushed sniffles left you. This wasn't like the hysterical, and anxiety filled sobs from earlier. The tears that fell from your eyes were few in number and your body was motionless for the most part.

     The deadly spears and sharp pillars of ice that surrounded you and covered the room began to evaporate into tiny, shining crystals before vanishing into thin air. The icicles on the ceiling broke off and fell to the ground in the form of harmless snowflakes. The ice that had consumed the room receded from the walls and floor and returned to you before dying out completely and the temperature of the room returned to normal. All the ice had dissipated once you had calmed.

     Bucky cupped the back of your head again and placed his metal hand on your hip, caressing the clothed flesh in a soothing manner. The warmth radiating from his body sent you into a realm of pleasure and serenity. _'I could stay like this forever.'_

     When your tears had been spent and your body relaxed, you craned your neck to look up at Bucky. Once again, he grabbed your hand and placed it against his cheek. He melted into your hand as you enjoyed the feeling of the bristly hairs of his stubble rub against your hand. He closed his eyes and tenderly kissed the flesh of your palm which caused your face to flush a deep shade of crimsoned. His lips lingered on your palm as you moved your body so that you were hovering over him. The former assassin gazed at you as if he were looking at an angel that had descended from heaven. He reached up his metal hand to stroke your cheek with the back of his index finger.

     "I thought you were a dream..."

     His voice was barely audible and you knew he wanted his words to only be heard by you. You smiled and caressed the fingers of his metal hand. Bucky usually flinched when someone touched his robotic arm but he was too engrossed in gazing at your face to notice.

     "I'm real." you whispered in reply, pressing your palm closer to his face to prove your point. He closed his eyes and his gorgeous lips stretched into a small smile.

 

     The intimate moment was shattered when the lights flickered on and everyone saw Bucky on the ground with one of his hands on your hip with you straddling his hips, one hand on his chest and the other cupping his face. The Avengers stood there, dumbfounded at the surreal and somewhat suggestive scene in front of them. They looked at you and Bucky with wide eyes, flushed cheeks, and open mouths. Bruce threw his hands up into the air in surrender and bolted for the door, he struggled to maneuver through the mess of furniture but was determined to escape the awkwardness that filled the air.

     Tony started sniffling and dabbed the corner of his eye, pretending to wipe away an imaginary tear. "This is just like that scene in 'The Notebook' only they're laying on the floor surrounded by broken glass and it looks like they just-" Tony's teasing was cut short by a hard slap to the head.

      Bucky snapped his head to glare daggers at Tony and unknowingly slid his hands down your thighs. You tried so hard not to react to his touch and pretend it never happened but your wide eyes and crimson cheeks were a dead giveaway that you did.

     "Oh (Y/N)..." Tony teased in a sultry voice while wiggling an eyebrow at you.

     You blew your top as you hid your face in your hands and let out a high pitched squeal of embarrassment. It was all too much! Natasha tried to slap Tony again but he had anticipated it and dodged her hand, cackling in victory, only to be slapped by Sam. Bucky gave Tony a death glare before sitting up and holding you against his chest in a protective hold. Bucky's intentions were pure, but wearing a thin nightgown and being held so closely to a muscular chest while sitting in his lap was NOT helping at all. You let out another embarrassed squeal when a deep grumble erupted from your stomach. You jumped in Bucky's lap and stared at the people around you and hoped they hadn't heard your stomach's plea for food.

      "(Y/N) you have the world's worst poker face." Clint teased with a snort. Blushing for what felt like the hundredth time today, you and everyone in the room didn't catch Bucky looking at your flustered form while biting his lip. Well, almost everyone...

     "Come (Y/N), let’s get you something to eat." Wanda offered with a laugh.

      Bucky stood then offered you his hand. You stared at his hand for a moment then placed your hand in his, caressing his flesh for a moment. Once your hand was in his, he gently helped you to your feet. You stumbled a bit but Bucky caught you by placing his arm around your waist. When you were standing you looked up to the man who had saved you and smiled.

     Bucky’s tender and serene gaze disappeared and was replaced by an emotion that you couldn’t quite name. His body stiffened and he took a step back, his hand slipped from your hold. Before you could ask him what was wrong, Wanda walked up to you and offered to show you the kitchen. You hesitated for a moment but she gently place her hand on your back and silently urged you on. Her descriptions of the delicious food waiting for you in the kitchen caused you to continue forward. You looked over your shoulder to ask Bucky to join you but he was nowhere in sight. Your eyes scanned the room but Wanda’s words yet again caught your attention. Closing your eyes and laughing at a joke the wise girl beside you had said, you completely missed the knowing look that Wanda and Natasha shared. The Black Widow slightly bowed her head in thanks to the Scarlet Witch who answered the gesture with a small nod.

 _‘We girls have to stick together._ ’

 

     The room Wanda led you too was just as massive and spacious as the rest of the house. The unique feature of this room was a large dining table in the middle of it. All the other Avengers (aside from Loki you noticed) were seated around the table already eating. Bruce who was near the end of the table looked up from his tea when you entered the room; ready to run out if you and Bucky started to ‘get physical’ again. When he saw Bucky was nowhere in sight he smiled at you and returned to the book he was reading.

     Pietro ran up to you and you braced yourself for more cheesy compliments. “Would you please grace me with your presence at the table Miss (Y/N)?” You held back a snort and smiled at him, grateful that his comment wasn’t as sappy as you had expected, and flattered by his polite invitation. Wanda stood beside you and rolled her eyes as she laughed at her brother’s horrible attempt to woo you.

     “I would be honored good sir,” you replied with a small curtsy.

      Pietro perked up and understood your joke. He dramatically bowed before leading you to your seat beside him. Being a gentleman he pulled out your chair for you and you thanked him before sitting down. Natasha sat in the empty seat next to you and Steve seated himself in front of you. You smiled at both of them, they returned the gesture. Looking around the room you looked at what everyone was eating.

     Sam, who was sitting next to Steve, was eating scrambled eggs and pancakes with a side of orange juice. You fought back a laugh when you saw that Clint was eating sunflower seeds.

     “Easy Thor that’s your fifth bucket!” Natasha cried. You looked down the table to see that Thor was chowing down on a giant piece of fried chicken and there was indeed four empty buckets beside him and he was almost finished with the fifth.

     “My apologies, the flesh of this ‘fried chicken’ is quite delicious.”

     You let a giggle escape your lips before you heard Tony say something behind you. A dramatically loud gasp came from him as he stood in the giant pantry. He walked into the room with a suspicious look on his face.

     “Well. I’ve noticed that someone has been hitting the chocolate big time…I wonder who it was…” Tony pondered out loud as he narrowed his eyes and scanned the room.

      Everyone in the room put on their impressive poker face, you on the other hand were staring down at the table and gripping the material of your nightgown. The Avengers knew who that ‘someone’ was but continued to play along with Tony’s teasing. Tony turned around to walk back into the pantry and let out a loud cry.

     He ran back with wide eyes, “There’s a little mouse who has eaten all my beloved chocolate!” At this point it was bleeding obvious that that ‘little mouse’ was you. The dramatic man once again exited the room and you shut your eyes when you heard him re-enter, fully prepared for him to scold you.

     Instead of an angry voice, you heard heavy bags of plastic drop in front of you. Opening your eyes you realized what had been placed in front of you; bars of pure chocolate, multiple types of chocolate chip cookies, a wide variety of candy containing chocolate, chocolate brownies and so many more were laying on the table before you just waiting to be savored and devoured. After wiping the drool from your mouth, you looked up at Tony with sparkling eyes.

     “Go crazy. There’s a lot more where that came from sweetheart,” Tony said with a smile and a wink. Excitedly hopping in your chair you thanked him multiple times before digging in. Your excitement and glee were contagious and everyone at the table shared your happiness. The rest of the evening was spent in peace.

     Tony was teasing (he seemed to love doing that) Steve-who was eating a plain baked potato-that the French fry had shaped the modern world and eating a bland baked potato was an insult to American cuisine. Pietro made more attempts to woo you with his sappy pickup lines, (which never failed to make you laugh) while chowing down on his mac & cheese. Wanda was multitasking, laughing at her brother’s horrible attempts to be poetic and eating her slice of red velvet cake. When you had the chance you scanned the room to see if Bucky had come back but he never did. You felt disappointed but were drawn back into the merriness of everyone at the table. Both Steve and Natasha had caught you looking around and knew who you were hoping to find. They glanced at each other. Natasha watched you tease Pietro as she nibbled on her Turkish delight. After everything that had happened you were still able to smile and laugh and she admired you greatly for that. But there was a bitterness that grew inside her.

     You had gotten close to him (both physically and apparently emotionally) and it worried her. He had only been here a few days and she hated every second of it. The scarlet haired woman still bore a resentment towards him from their first encounter. Everyone knew how unstable he was and how violent he could get when triggered. He was a threat to everyone in the building. The night of your ‘arrival’, Steve had introduced him to the team. Everyone was uneasy and the air stiffened when he came in. Natasha ignored the ex-assassin’s existence, not really caring what he did as long as he stayed away from her. But now things were different. She had to protect you from him.

 _‘Her heart is too kind.’_ Natasha thought as she looked over at you laughing at something Thor had said. The emerald eyed woman knew that if he went berserk, you would be his first target. _‘I’ll never let anyone hurt her…’_

     After devouring half the chocolate Tony had placed in front of you, you began to feel sleepy. Your cheeks were sore from all the smiling and laughing and your eyes began to feel heavy. Everyone noticed your laughter had stopped and looked over to you to make sure you were alright.

     “Her Majesty is getting sleepy!” Tony called from the other end of the table. Answering with a groggy smile you acknowledged your fatigue.

     “Either that or she’s going into a sugar coma…” Sam stated in all seriousness, furrowing his brow at all the empty wrappers of candy. Struggling to keep your eyes open you tried to rise from your seat but lost your footing. Luckily Pietro caught you. Thanking him in a hushed whisper you smiled and shook your head at the wink he gave you.

     “I’ll walk you to your room (Y/N).” Steve stated.

     You heard Pietro whine, complaining that he wanted to walk you to your room. Steve helped you up from your chair (which you were grateful for). He placed your hand in his much larger one to steady your swaying form. Steve struggled to keep you up straight since your legs had turned to spaghetti. When the elevator doors opened you quickly entered and pressed the button of your floor, remembering Natasha’s warning. When the door closed Steve gave the button pad a questioning look, seeing that only one number had been pressed. The doors opened and he realized that the elevator had went straight to your floor. He wanted to ask you how you did that but his thought was cut short when he saw you falling forward. The super soldier dove to catch you before your face collided with the floor. You had gone limp as a noodle, Steve laughed as he scooped you into his arms. You groaned and swatted your hand muttering something about _‘Dearborn hogging the blankets’._ Steve opened the door of your room and noticed the shimmer on the wall and floor around your bed.

 _‘She must have had a nightmare…’_  he laid you in your bed and you curled up in a comfortable position. Steve grabbed the tangled sheets to cover you but before he could, you pulled Bucky’s jacket closer to your sleeping form. He stared at you for a moment and eventually decided to leave you in peace. After your exhausting day you deserved to get a good night’s rest. The blond man had almost reached the door when he heard you whisper the name of his best friend. Jerking his head back he stared at you with wide eyes, did he hear you right? Slowly walking back to your sleeping form, he couldn’t believe your next words;

 

 

_“He wasn’t a dream…”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh mercy me I've been on a roll haven't I? I have a few quizzes and projects coming up so posting may slow down. I'm also considering writing another Bucky/Reader insert series...should I?  
> Thank you so much for your support everyone!!
> 
> Regarding the chapter:  
> -You will be the victim of 99% of Tony's teasing I'm sorry but I just couldn't resist  
> -Also for those of you who are asking, no I do not write smut. I'm hella Ace and don't feel comfortable writing sex scenes/anything sexual BUT I'll try to make things as romantic and fluffy possible with the occasional suggestive comment/situation. (Because come on, who doesn't want to sit in Bucky's lap??)
> 
> Thank you so much for your support everyone!!!!
> 
> Aditional Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Notebook' (I've never even seen it) or anything related to the film/book


	12. The Thin Line Between Pleasure and Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But for the first time in his life,  
> He hoped this wasn’t a dream.

 “I saw you there…

…Like an angel descended from heaven

To be here amongst ordinary mortals.

\- Prashanth

 

~

_Fighting the demons HYDRA had left him with was a daily struggle for Bucky. Some days were better than others, but most days he couldn’t tell the difference between reality and the illusions that came to life out of his memories. There are some that consider sleep to be an escape from the real world; but for Bucky sleep was just another level of hell. On his worst days Bucky’s dreams would become reality,_

_But for the first time in his life,_

_He hoped this wasn’t a dream._

 

 

     When Steve had told him a new member was being introduced to the team, Bucky couldn’t care less. Why should he? The newbie would just be another person to avoid, another pair of eyes that would stare at his arm. A new person who would look at him in fear or distaste, another person whose lips would spread more horrid things about him (as if there weren’t enough) and overall just another thorn in his side. But Steve was persistent and said it was essential to be there. Bucky reluctantly complied.

     He and Steve were the last to enter the room where the rest of the team was waiting for the newbie. All eyes turned to him and the air in the room stiffened. It had only been three days since Bucky had arrived and he was already used to this reaction. Truth be told he didn’t mind, the ex-assassin would rather be ignored than attacked. Steve smiled at the others and took a seat in a chair next to Sam who was sitting on a couch. Meanwhile Bucky went to stand in the corner of the room where he would be covered by the shadows casted by the lack of proper lighting. He preferred it this way because-aside from not wanting to be here-he didn’t feel comfortable sitting with the rest of the Avengers; he didn’t even consider himself one. They had been waiting quite some time for the new team member to arrive when Bucky felt himself getting bored. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall, and allowed his mind to wander.

 _‘I wonder who the newbie will be…?’_ Bucky started brainstorming some ideas.

 _'Maybe they’ll be a super soldier like me and Steve’_ the bored man looked around the room for more ideas.

      ‘ _What if they’re a god like Thor and his weird ass brother?’_ Bucky prayed the newbie wasn’t, that’s the last thing he wanted.

_‘Maybe they’re like the fast guy and his sister, people who were experimented on.’_

      He looked over to the Doctor who was also sitting away from the group (but not as far away as Bucky). The ex-assassin bore a resentment towards the timid man. Bucky didn’t know the whole story but the knowledge that the Doctor had experimented on himself was enough for Bucky to hate him.

     The super soldier was pulled from his thoughts when he saw the Widow walk in. There was no doubt in his mind that she hated him. To be honest he didn’t blame her, he wouldn’t want to live under the same room as someone who tried to kill him. Bucky saw that she was holding the hand of someone that hid behind her.

     This amused Bucky, _‘They don’t want to be here either.’_

 

     “Everyone, this is (Y/N).”

     The name of the newbie caught his attention. _‘It’s a girl…_ ’ Bucky had automatically assumed the new member would be male. He thought of her name again,

 _‘(Y/N)…that’s a pretty name.’_ He saw the red headed woman smile to the shy girl behind her and pulled her forward, the girl was still hiding behind the woman but he could see her a bit more clearly. Bucky saw her (h/l) (h/c) locks and it tugged at a memory he had recently buried. 

 _'No…last night was a dream, a hallucination from my lack of sleep…’_ Bucky reassured himself to keep himself from getting his hopes up.

     He then heard Stark tease the poor girl. Bucky felt irritated but his annoyance faded when he heard the girl laugh at something the fool had said. The super soldier felt sweat form in his palms when he heard her laugh. The laugh and the soft chiming sound were so familiar but he told himself once again that last night wasn’t real and the girl being introduced was a completely different person. The Widow teased the archer with a joke about birds. Bucky didn’t understand the joke but found it amusing none the less. “You have a bird club?!” Bucky shot his head up when he heard the girl’s voice. The distance between him and the girl made it difficult to see her but his heart knew that voice anywhere. As she spoke with the man she fully came out of her hiding place. Bucky’s heart sank to the ground.

 _‘She wasn’t a dream…’_ his mouth opened in shock as all the air in his lungs escaped and left him breathless as he gaped at the smiling girl. He gave thanks that he finally knew her name and burned it into his memory.

_‘(Y/N)…a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.’_

     Bucky didn’t even hear the woman introduce Steve and his friend to (Y/N). Nor did he catch Steve looking at him out of the corner of his eye. Nothing in the room mattered except her. Bucky moved his lips to silently say her name again and again. He was drunk on the sweetness her name left on his lips. When the ex-assassin saw the girl smile at Steve and Sam, Bucky felt jealous. He wanted her to smile at him. That beautiful smile that illuminated the entire room and warmed his heart. His jealousy faded when he saw her still wearing his black leather jacket.

 _‘She’s ten times cuter in my clothes.’_ Bucky thought to himself as he bit his lip.

     Bucky jerked in annoyance when the loud blonde As-Lard-Assard wherever he’s from, bellowed (Y/N)’s name and scared her. The brunette now knew for sure she was the girl from the other night because when-Floor-Tore-Thorin-whatever got too close, a thick sheet of jagged ice shot up from the floor to protect her. Bucky felt another wave of jealousy when the thunder guy kissed (Y/N)’s hand and she blushed.

 _‘I could do better.’_ the jealous man huffed to himself in annoyance.

     Oh but things just got worse from there. The blonde’s freak show brother-Lori or something like that-began slithering his way towards (Y/N) like the snake he was. (Y/N) was obviously disgusted by his cocky attitude which was a relief to Bucky.

 _‘Poor Doll must be used to it.....’_  He believed it, (Y/N) was a gorgeous girl and probably had to deal with assholes like Lori (or was it Gnocchi) all the time. Bucky’s snarled and clenched his fists when Gnocchi got too close to (Y/N) and tried to flatter her with his slimy compliments. The super soldier burst a vein and saw red when the disgusting bastard grabbed her chin. Before the ex-assassin could become an assassin again, (Y/N) fiercely slapped Gnocchi’s hand away.

    “The next time you touch me, **will be the last time you have hands!** ” she snarled through gritted teeth.

      And in that moment Bucky was struck by Cupid’s arrow. He didn’t think it was possible for this girl to capture anymore of his heart but oh he was so wrong. Once the freak was put in his place he said that he liked (Y/N) even more which made Bucky’s anger boil. When the weirdo had finally vanished the room burst into laughter. Stark wiped the liquid off of his chin that he had spit out when (Y/N) had put Lori in his place and the archer wiped the tears from his eyes. Bucky let out an amused breath and proudly smiled at her.

_‘There's more to her than meets the eye.’_

     Poor (Y/N) never got a break when it came to men flirting with her and it made jealousy gnarl at Bucky’s stomach as the fast guy took his turn at trying to woo (Y/N). Bucky smirked when she was completely unimpressed with his sappy compliments but almost exploded in rage when the bastard leaned in and kissed her cheek. Luckily his sister scolded him before Bucky could kill him. It infuriated the super soldier that so few people respected the poor girl’s boundaries. 

     Bucky was brought back to reality when he saw Steve rise from his seat and make his way towards the beautiful addition to the team. _‘He isn’t going to…’_ The brunette began to panic as Steve said the words Bucky had prayed he’d never say;

 

_“(Y/N), there’s someone I want you to meet.”_

 

     Bucky’s greatest fear had become reality. He hated Steve with a passion in that moment and tried to sink deeper into the shadows but it was pointless. His arms fell to his side as she narrowed her eyes to try to see him more clearly, then gasped.

     _‘It’s all over…’_ Bucky thought in defeat as the angelic (Y/N) began walking towards him.

      He considered running away again but remembered the regret he left after he did. No matter what his brain demanded, his body was frozen in place. Her (e/c) eyes were glazed in a trance as she came closer to him. Every muscle in his body tensed when she stood in front of him. (Y/N)’s bambi eyes were glistening with beads of tears and her luscious pink lips were slightly parted. Bucky mustered every ounce of willpower to pull his eyes from her tempting lips.

     His heart throbbed when (Y/N) raised her delicate hand in front of her, a silent plea for his touch. There was no way to deny that she was indeed the girl from last night. An angel in the flesh and not a hallucination. He stared at her soft hand and felt his heart tear. Bucky wanted to touch (Y/N), he wanted to touch her so bad it hurt but he hesitated. He saw her hand as a relic from Heaven, something so pure and perfect and he saw himself as the exact opposite. When he looked at his hands he saw the gunpowder and blood that covered them. Granted he had washed his hands clean of his past life but he could never cleanse himself of the shame. He knew he was unworthy of her touch.

     The ex-assassin was pulled out of his thoughts of self-hatred when he saw (Y/N) lower her hand and a sorrowful expression stain her darling face. It was as if the illuminating light her touch gave was fleeing from him and his darkened heart. All thoughts of his shame were discarded and before his common sense could stop him, Bucky reached out and touched (Y/N)’s hand. She gasped and came to life once his calloused finger had touched her soft palm. (Y/N) smiled and closed her eyes. Bucky regretted not wiping the stray tear from her cheek but he would never again let his metal hand touch her. The beauty’s smile was contagious and he found himself smiling as well. The super soldier caressed (Y/N)’s hand just like he had the previous night and she yet again melted into his touch. He would never understand how she could stomach his rough and calloused hand but he was too engrossed in the feeling of her cool palm to linger on the thought. She ran her slim index finger along the long line of his palm and her fingernail grazed over his flesh which caused him to shiver in delight. The waltz he had danced with her the previous night was relieved with as much hunger for touch as before. He hadn’t been touched in so long. The only physical contact he had had with others were attacks. This was an intoxicating experience he would never get tired of. Once again their dance finished when his fingers had intertwined with hers. (Y/N) looked up at him with eyes glazed with euphoria, euphoria he had given her. Bucky knew he didn’t have a way with words so he focused all of his emotion into his eyes and hoped she could understand what she made him feel.

     “(Y/N), this is Bucky; Bucky this is (Y/N)... ”Steve’s perplexed voice drew her out of her trance for a moment, but she was drawn right back in as she gave his fingers a small squeeze.

 

_“Bucky…”_

 

      It was as if his heart had been pierced by her voice. The way his name fell from her lips made it hard to focus and he struggled to control his breathing. He tried with all his might to conceal his unraveling but a tremble overwhelmed him and (Y/N) seemed to have noticed as his touch stuttered. She smiled as she absentmindedly caressed his hand. Bucky tried to repeat her beautiful name but his voice had disappeared but his lips were able to move and feel her name roll from his tongue as if it were a silent hymn.

     The moment was shattered when a blinding flash of light harshly illuminated the room. Bucky had become used to things like that during his time with HYDRA but (Y/N) shrieked in fear. The ex-assassin’s immediate reaction was to comfort her but she stared out the window with wide eyes and a surreal look in her eyes. As if she were seeing something strange for the first time. (Y/N)’s fingers slowly untangled with his and he mourned the loss of her touch. Bucky reached out in hopes of recapturing her fingers but she was already too far away and her hand had fallen limp at her side

     The beautiful girl stared out the window and everything after that happened so fast. She was thrown into a state of hysteria and her ice reflected her agony. Her once beautiful and ornate ice rose from the floor around her in the shape of gnarled and twisted thorns. She whirled around and glared at the other Avengers with blinding blue florescent eyes. As her rage fused with her panic her ice became more and more violent. Bucky dodged and moved quickly to save himself from being impaled from the ice protecting her. The others tried to comfort and calm her but she was beyond reasoning with. Her ear piercing shrieks of pain shredded his heart and he cursed his uselessness. Bucky felt her pain, he felt it in his chest and he ached to free her from the torture she was experiencing in her tormented mind. (Y/N)’s accusing words of herself twisted Bucky’s face in pain.

     "It's my fault. I'm so sorry it’s all my fault. I'm a monster I don't deserve your kindness. I'm a monster that's why I exiled myself from society. I'm so sorry. I can't be around normal people without hurting them! They're lucky if they walk away with their lives! It's all my fault..." she sobbed into her hands.

     _‘NO! NO NOTHING'S YOUR FAULT (Y/N)! YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER DO YOU HEAR ME?! DON’T SAY THOSE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF LISTEN TO ME!!’_ Bucky screamed in his mind but when he opened his mouth nothing came out. He saw (Y/N) lean her exhausted body against the glass behind her. Bucky knew what was going to happen. He jumped over the ice and maneuvered his way towards her. Her ice had weakened the glass of the window and-

     Before he could reach her, his fear became reality. The glass behind her shattered, and she began to fall from the tower.

     The others raced towards (Y/N) to rescue her but the maze of deadly ice slowed their attempts. Luckily Bucky had anticipated what would happen and was closer to her than the others. The super soldier punched and shattered the last spike of ice with his metal fist then rounded the corner to reach (Y/N). She had closed her eyes and he cursed her doubt in him, that he wouldn’t save her in time.

 _‘Doll you couldn’t be more wrong.’_ Bucky gripped the frame of the window with his metal hand and reached out for (Y/N) with his human hand.

      He seized her hand at the right moment, had he been a second late she would have been out of reach. But he had her now; and he would never let go. (Y/N) winced before looking up at him. Her eyes had returned to their normal (e/c) and she whispered his name as she admired his features. Her (h/l) (h/c) hair swirled around her face as the wind swayed her dangling body. Bucky would have been enchanted by the glorious sight before him but he was straining to keep (Y/N) steady, half of his body was hanging out of the tower and he knew time was limited. His head snapped back when he heard the frame of the window moan, ready to snap at any given second.

     _'It's now or never'_ the super soldier thought to himself.

      The muscles of his human arm tensed and constricted before he roughly yanked (Y/N) forward. He heard her make a noise of pain and regretted being so rough with her, but he knew there was no other way to save her. (Y/N) flew forward and collided into his strong chest as Bucky used his body to cushion the fall and protect (Y/N) from the shattered glass that littered the floor. He fell on his back with a harsh thud and let out a groan of pain but kept (Y/N)’s body close to his own. She laid on his chest and he held her soft body close and tight to his. His metal arm had constricted itself securely around the dip of her waist and his human hand cupped the back of her head. He could feel (Y/N)’s chest rise and fall against his and gave thanks that he was able to save her. Bucky panted for air as (Y/N) did the same. The coolness of her soft body calmed him and dowsed the adrenaline and heat from his tensed body. Her head rested on his chest and her hair had fanned out around her. Bucky felt her heartbeat slow and he closed his eyes to focus on the steady beat. The ex-assassin stroked her head and adored the softness of her hair.

_‘Every part of her is perfect.’_

     Bucky remembered that he needed to tell (Y/N) something very important. He gently stroked the flesh of her wet cheek and she looked up at him. Her (h/c) locks were tangled and messy, her eyes and cheeks were pink, the nightgown she wore was creased and torn and his jacket that she wore was twisted and wrinkled but she was still, by far, the most beautiful being in the world. Bucky gently grabbed (Y/N)’s pure hand and placed it on his cheek. He nuzzled into the softness of her palm and hoped the coarse hairs of his stubble didn’t bother her. Lost in the moment he forgot the blood that stained his metal digits as he placed a cold metal finger under her chin and lifted her face to look at him.

      "You're not a monster."

     (Y/N) stared at him with wide eyes but her expression told him that she found comfort in his words. He squeezed her hand and pressed it closer to his face. The (h/c) girl broke down into tears and fell back on his body. She gripped his torn t-shirt and buried her face into his toned chest. He could feel her liquid tears wet his shirt but he honestly didn’t give a damn. Hushed sniffles left her and her body was still for the most part, the ice mirrored her calm state. Bucky cupped the back of (Y/N)’s head again and placed his metal hand on the curve of her hip, absentmindedly caressing the clothed flesh in a soothing manner. The coolness of her body and the warmth of his fused together and made their embrace euphoric.

     (Y/N) craned her neck to look up at Bucky. Once again, he grabbed her hand and placed it against his cheek and melted into her touch. He closed his eyes and tenderly kissed the flesh of her cool palm which caused her face to flush a deep shade of crimson. Bucky didn’t even try to hide his smirk, overjoyed that it was him who made her blush that adorable shade of red. His lips lingered on (Y/N)’s palm as she moved her perfect body so that she was sitting on his hips. The former assassin gazed at (Y/N) as if he were looking at an angel that had descended from heaven. Everything about her was perfect and he loved seeing her from this angle. He reached up with his metal hand to stroke her cheek with the back of his index finger.

 

_"I thought you were a dream..."_

 

     His confession was barely audible; meant only for the beauty above him to hear. (Y/N) smiled and caressed the fingers of his metal hand. Bucky usually flinched when someone touched his robotic arm but he was too engrossed in gazing at (Y/N)’s face to notice.

     "I'm real," she whispered in reply as she pressed her palm closer to his face to prove her point. He closed his eyes and let his lips stretch into a small smile.

     The intimate moment was shattered when the lights were turned back on. Bucky moaned in annoyance and (Y/N)’s eyes snapped to his face in shock and embarrassment. The ex-assassin didn’t give a damn that the team was staring at them but (Y/N) did, so he knew they had to change their position.

 _‘I’m going to miss this.’_  he thought to himself. Laying on the floor and looking up at (Y/N) from this position was intoxicating. Her cool hands pressed against his toned abs and her sitting on his hips…beyond words.

     Of course it was Stark who had to open his damn mouth and make (Y/N) feel embarrassed. Bucky bit his lip at her flustered form, he knew she was blushing out of embarrassment, _‘But she’s just so damn cute when she’s flustered, h_ e thought as he bit harder.

     Stark crossed the line and made (Y/N) let out another high pitched noise of embarrassment. Bucky snapped his head to glare daggers at the bastard and unintentionally slid his hands down (Y/N)’s thighs. She jumped at his touch as her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red. Bucky saw this out of the corner of his eye but still couldn’t stop himself from biting his lip again. The damn bastard couldn’t keep his trap shut and said something suggestive and (Y/N) blew her top as she hid her face in her hands and let out another high pitched squeal of embarrassment. Bucky gave Stark a death glare before sitting up and holding (Y/N) against his chest in a protective hold. But regardless of his intentions the poor girl let out another embarrassed squeal but a deep grumble erupted from her empty stomach.

     The easily flustered girl jumped in Bucky's lap and placed her cool hands on his chest as she stared at the people around her and hoped they hadn't heard her stomach's plea for food. Someone teased her about her inability to keep a poker face and (Y/N) blushed for what was probably the hundredth time today. _‘She’ll be the death of me,’_  the super soldier thought to himself as he unknowingly bit his lip yet again.

     The girl that could attack with red energy beams offered to take (Y/N) to the kitchen. Bucky stood then offered the darling girl his hand. She stared at it for a moment then placed her smaller one in his and she caressed his flesh for a moment. Once her hand was in his, he gently helped (Y/N) to her feet. She stumbled a bit but Bucky caught her by placing his arm around the dip of her waist. When she was standing on her feet, she looked up at him and smiled. Then he saw the dry blood on the corner of her mouth and he snapped back to reality. _‘Why am I near her? I can’t touch her I’ll hurt her! I’ll make her bleed I have to get away from her!’_

     (Y/N) looked at him in concern and knew she had noticed the change in his mood. His body stiffened and he took a step back, his hand slipped from her gentle hold. Before she could ask him what was wrong, the girl dressed in scarlet walked up to (Y/N) and lightly urged the darling girl to come to the kitchen. Once (Y/N) had turned her gaze from him, Bucky ran. He sprinted down the hall, climbed over the railing and jumped down the stairwell. He found himself where he had escaped to last night. The super soldier hid under the stairwell like a coward. He gritted his teeth and turned to punch the wall but stopped when he saw the indentation he had made the previous night. The hole made him relive the regret of the previous night in addition to the remorse he felt in the present moment. Bucky leaned his back against the wall and let his body slide down till he sat on the floor. He ran his metal fingers through his hair. 

 _'It was wrong of me to touch her, I should have never have done that. I’ll stain her…’_ Bucky mentally scolded himself, but then he heard another voice in his head.

     ‘No you saved her life, you had to touch her. When you had pulled her to safety and she was laying on your chest, she didn’t pull back or break from your hold. If anything she enjoyed it, she finds comfort in your touch,’ the voice of reason told him.

      Bucky smirked. It was like the little angel and devil on his shoulders were telling him different things. But he knew it was up to him to determine which was right. After much thought he concluded that the ‘angel on his shoulder’ was right. Bucky stood up with new resolve and made his way back up the stairs. He still didn’t feel comfortable touching (Y/N) as much as he did today, but decided he’d take baby steps and see how she reacted.

     Bucky found (Y/N) with the others in the kitchen. He considered joining her but didn’t feel comfortable being so close to the rest of the team. The ex-assassin watched (Y/N) from afar and admired her beauty and happy spirit. She laughed alongside the others and became the victim of Stark’s teasing but was still gleeful. After everything she had experienced, (Y/N) was still able to laugh and smile; Bucky adored her for that. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous of the fast guy flirting with (Y/N) but smiled proudly when she turned his sappy lines against him. The (h/c) girl’s laugh and happiness was contagious and even though he wasn’t taking part in the merriness he was happy just watching her from the shadows.

 _‘You should really stop doing that Barnes, watching her from the shadows like a creep,’_  he scolded himself, but the thought motivated him to be around her more often.

      (Y/N) began dozing off at the table and Bucky was genuinely concerned for her as he agreed with Steve’s friend that she might be going into a sugar coma. He heard the other super soldier offer to take her to her room and watched them until the elevator doors closed. When (Y/N) had left the room the Avengers fell silent. Bucky knew why and he’d attack anyone who brought up the sensitive subject. Luckily no one did and each member of the team cleaned up and went to their own separate room, except for Stark and the Widow. When Steve returned they all went back to the entertainment room and Bucky followed them under the cover of darkness.

     The trio stared at the disaster that was once the entertainment room. The heavy couches had been flipped over as if they were beanbags and had large holes through the cushions. The massive TV was broken into pieces so small Bucky knew that not even Stark could fix it (he’d probably just buy another.)

     “Wasn’t that window supposed to be shatterproof?” the Widow asked in a serious tone.

     “After what happened back with the Mandarin and Ultron, I designed the glass to be able to withstand a missile fired from an aircraft bigger than a helicarrier...” Stark answered as he realized the severity of the matter.

     The trio looked at each other and shared the same thought as Bucky; (Y/N) had shattered a window that was created to protect the tower from a missile that could wipe half of Manhattan off the map. The Widow cautiously walked towards the edge of the broken window and the others followed. Bucky creeped forward still covered by the darkness. They stood in shock when they saw a giant glacier of ice curled upwards into a crescent that had grown from a few floors below them. (Y/N)'s ice had been fully capable of protecting her from the fall. Thick particles of ice began to break off of the body of the glacier before the entire thing broke off of the tower with a resonating crack. The ice evaporated into tiny crystals then disappeared completely. The trio and Bucky had made a mistake in underestimating (Y/N)’s power, but the matter would have to be tackled on another day because the events of the day had taken a toll on them. Succumbing to exhaustion the trio went their separate ways to retire for the night.

     Bucky acknowledged his own fatigue and climbed the stairs to his room (he didn’t trust the elevator). The brunette man was too tired to change into his sleeping clothes so he threw off his shirt and tugged down his pants, leaving him in only his underwear. He pulled the sheets over himself then placed his hand in front of his face. He could still feel (Y/N)’s cool touch and soft hands. Bucky smiled and pulled the blessed hand close to his chest. He tasted her name on his lips one last time before succumbing to sleep.

 

_‘She wasn’t a dream.’_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I'm on a roll! This chapter was writing from Bucky's POV.  
> Thank you so much for your support and Kudos!!
> 
> I have this headcannon that Bucky is a lip biter (In all honesty I love it when guys to that hehe)  
> (I love gnocchi with a passion my Mormor makes it from scratch!)  
> I'll post the next chapter ASAP! This week is going to be super busy so I'll do my best to update! Kudos for everyone who noticed my Thorin Easter egg! (That dwarf is the love of my life)
> 
> Additional disclaimer: I do not own Thorin Oakenshield (//sobs) or anything Tolkien/Peter Jackson related. I own only my writing which is a work of fiction.


	13. Bend a Knee and Repent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Oh the Calamity'

_Ice burns,_

_And it is hard for the warm-skinned to distinguish one sensation,_

_Fire,_

_From the other,_

_Frost.”_

_― A.S. Byatt_

_Elementals: Stories of Fire and Ice _

 

~

 

_“Can you control your powers?”_

     Was the worst question in existence. It was the one that made your stomach churn and your previous meal want to make a reappearance. It was the question that made a flower of ice bloom at your feet and more ice swirl and rise from the floor. Sometimes it sent you into a state of panic and your ice would violently mimic the emotion. But regardless of what you could say, your ice never failed to answered the question for you; no. You’d never willingly admit it, but it was the ice that controlled you. In your dark past, your ice had saved your life countless times. Key word; ‘your’ life. Only yours. You were grateful for it but it was a part of you you couldn’t control. The ice was one with you. Just like your body physically reacts to an emotion, your ice did as well. If there was a way to control your body and emotions, then there was a way to control your powers.

    So when you were offered the once in a lifetime opportunity of learning how to control your powers, you knew you had no choice other than to accept and agree to cooperate. You never wanted to be here, but you had no home to return to, and nowhere left to run. The world was ready for its revenge. This was your new reality, your sentence, and if you were going to live in society, you knew what had to be done. You had two choices; learn to control your powers, or doom the world to relive the past…

_After so many centuries,_

_You can still hear their chant;_

_‘Oh the Calamity…’_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I would like to thank everyone for their support and patience bless each and every one of you!! ;3;  
> I will update as often as I can but midterms and projects are coming up so please bare with me! ;v;


	14. Earned Pardon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His eye bore into your soul and you felt as if he was trying to put together the pieces of a puzzle he didn’t understand.

 

_'People who smile the most,_

_Are the ones with the darkest secrets.'_

_-Hedonist Poet_

_~_

_You never knew how empowering confidence and control could be._

     Your body had been pushed to its limits but you refused to give into fatigue. You heard your enemy approaching from behind then you whirled around to fight it. A series of iced daggers came from your hands and impaled your enemy before it could even reach you. The white dummy fell to the ground with a harsh thud. You looked around you to make sure you had ‘killed’ all of them before taking off your holographic mask. You were pleased to see that the training room Tony had made for you was still in one piece. A surge of pride filled you as you looked back at all the progress you had made.

      Since your arrival, each member of the team had helped you learn how to control and better use your powers. Bruce had taught you how to deal with your fears and how to calm yourself during a stressful or frightening situation. Wanda and Thor had taught you how to channel your ice through your body and how to improve your power related fighting skills. Natasha taught you ballet and it was by far the best way to use your powers. The elegant and sometimes fierce movements helped you evenly distribute how much ice you used and released. The thought of your dear friend made you smile, then you began to practice all the moves she had taught you.

     You briefly stretched before beginning. Once you were done, you began to dance. Small shimmers of a light frost came from your hands and feet as you dipped and swirled around the room. You took great delight in the free flowing motions of the dance Natasha had taught you, it made you feel so at peace.

    “Try raising your right hand as you straighten your left leg,” a voice advised.

     All serenity left you as you whirled around to face the owner voice. You outstretched your hands and prepared yourself for a fight. Your eyes widened in confusion as you tried to figure out the man in front of you. He was tall and slender with red and grey skin. The man had a vaguely familiar yellow stone in between his eyes but you overlooked it; you had never believed (or more accurately never wanted to believe) in those ancient legends. You tried to figure out why you had never met him until you remembered the team briefly mention him.

     “Are you Vision?” You quietly (and cautiously) asked. The team had said he was good at heart but rather odd. He affirmed your question with a curt nod and a small smile. You returned the gesture and introduced yourself.

     “Yes, I have heard much about you (Y/N).”

     Your muscles tensed at his words. Despite all your training, a small flower of ice began to bloom at your feet as fear began to gnaw at your insides. Vision immediately registered your reaction and quickly corrected himself.

     “I have heard you are an excellent addition to the team,” he swiftly added. Your shoulders relaxed and you exhaled a breathless laugh. You were happy he hadn’t mentioned anything about your…incident…

     “So should I raise my right hand before I pivot or after?” you asked, wanting to change the subject.

    For the next hour, Vision taught you how to balance the flow of your powers from within and how to better control how much ice you release. His wisdom and knowledge helped you further understand how to control your powers.

    After taking his advice, you quickly rose both your arms into the air and from the floor sprouted two long, spear-like pillars of ice. The ice was smooth and was the exact height and thickness you had intended. You laughed in glee at your monumental accomplishment and turned to Vision to thank him.Your smile vanished when you caught him staring at you. He gazed at you the same way Loki and Wanda had; as if there was something strange in your eyes that he couldn’t figure out. His eye bore into your soul and you felt as if he was trying to put together the pieces of a puzzle he didn’t understand.

     Then you were paralyzed by a horrifying thought. Could they see into your mind? And if so…do they know about your past? You ran, exiled yourself from humanity, and lived for centuries in the isolated forests of the arctic Siberia to escape the ghosts of your past. But maybe it wasn’t enough…

     Vision snapped out of his calculative stare and smiled at you. He chose to ignore the ice shield that had protectively risen around you. The last thing he wanted was for you to unintentionally destroy the training room Tony had built for you. He figured it was best to leave and let you resume your training.

     “It was a pleasure meeting you (Y/N),” Vision stated with a curt nod and a small smile. You returned the gesture and wished him a pleasant day. You watched in awe as he flew out of the room, you hadn’t expected that but it was an interesting surprise. Once Vision had left you resumed your training. You focused on your form and the amount of ice you released.

     Unbeknownst to you, Wanda watched from the threshold of the door. She watched your every movement and how much control you had over your powers. Her keen eyes stayed on you as Vision landed behind her.

     “When should we ask her?” Vision softly asked as he took a step closer to Wanda and gently placed his hand on the small of her back.

     “Never. We can never force it out of her, she must make the conscious decision to tell us,” Wanda whispered in reply. There was a moment of silence as the two of them watched you train.

     “There is far more to her than meets the eye,” Wanda commented.

     “And even more she refuses to remember and acknowledge,” Vision added.

     “She is very fragile but perhaps once she is comfortable and confident with the team, she will tell us everything. Perhaps she will even remember some of the things she choose to forget…”

     “You humans are very strange,” Vision lightly jested. Wanda softly laughed at his remark.

     “Yes dearest, we are,” Wanda responded with a smile, then her attention turned back to you.

     “But some more than others…”

 

     You had been wanting to try something new. You placed one foot in front of you then leapt forward. Once your feet touched the ground, you swirled around and formed a shield of glistening ice around you, then it was the moment of truth. You stood up straight, lifted your hands up into the air, then swung your arms down. With that single motion the ice around you shattered. You quickly clenched your fists and the pieces of broken sheets of ice turned into gentle snowflakes.

     A triumphant laugh filled the room as you hopped in place. You were proud of how far you had come and how much you had accomplished. Your happiness faded as you bowed your head and bent one knee.

     Maybe, if you were able to learn to control your powers;

 

_You could finally repent for the thousands of people you’ve killed…_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY HAD TIME TO UPDATE WOOT! \\(^0^)/  
> So right now I have five fics I'm writing (all of them are about Bucky haha) mostly one shots  
> I'm thinking of starting a new series since one of my 'one-shots' is over 40 pages (and it's still a WIP) AND SINCE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE SHORT ONE SHOTS AND I HAVE TO MAKE AN ENTIRE SERIES OUT OF EVERYTHING!!! "OTL  
> Oh well ;w;  
> I'm also a huge Wanda/Vision fan hah love those two so much!!!! 
> 
> I'm also writing a Steve/Reader one shot bc the CW trailer made me want to cover Steve in kisses ;3;  
> So I MIGHT post that (idk though, not to sure if I will)  
> More Bucky fluff is on the way!!!  
> Comment/Kudo to let me know if you liked it!!! :DD


	15. A New-and Overdue-Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Breathe (Y/N), breathe for me,” his voice was calm but you could hear the hint of panic in his words.

_“in a world_ _full of_ _temporary things,_ _  
_ _you are_ _a perpetual feeling.”_ _  
_ __- Sanober Khan

 

     You shifted and stirred from your deep slumber when thick rays of overbearing sunlight shone into your room. A groan of annoyance followed by a pathetic whine left your groggy form when you realized going back to sleep was no longer possible. You hissed in pain when you tried to change sleeping positions. After months of relentless and rigorous training, your muscles were sore beyond belief. Your aching body plus your inability to go back to sleep put you in a foul mood. Just when you thought the day couldn’t get any worse, a loud and painful growl of hunger ripped itself from your empty stomach. You ignored your screaming muscles as you pulled yourself out of the bed and stumbled your way to the door. You were half asleep but noticed a note on your door. Rubbing the sleepiness from your eyes, you managed to read the elegant handwriting:

 

_ Dear Sleepy Beauty, _

_ In celebration of your hard work, Tony is hosting a pool party on level eight. _

_ Come as soon as you wake up if not Tony will and trust me, you won’t like it. _

_ Hope to see you soon, _

_ -Nat _

_ P.S. There will be lots of chocolate. _

 

     Your eyes widened at the word  _ ‘chocolate’ _ and part of you wondered if it was being used to bribe you into coming. Eager for food, you exited your room and made your way to the elevator. As the elevator took you to level eight, you wondered what you should expect. You had never really seen a pool in real life since pools and below zero temperatures don’t work well together.

     Not knowing what to expect made you nervous.  _ Very _ nervous. So nervous you began to feel a small flower of ice begin to bloom at your feet.

_     ‘No!’ _ you immediately scolded yourself,  _ ‘The team has worked far too hard for me to give into old habits!’ _

     It was thanks to the team and all your training that you were able to retract the ice back into your skin. After completing the breathing exercises Bruce had taught you, you were able to return to a calm and stable state. Wanting to avoid more possibly triggering thoughts, you decided to think of the team.

_     ‘I wonder who will be there…?’ _ you pondered,  _ ‘It’s being held in my honor so probably everyone…’  _ Your eyes widened as you lingered on the thought.

_     ‘Everyone…including Bucky…’ _

     Your cheeks flushed bright red at the thought of seeing him again. You hadn’t seen him since your...incident…and truth be told you were afraid you had scared him off. You felt tears of heartbreak begin to form in your eyes but you were only a few levels away from your destination so you decided to worry about it some other time.

_     ‘Great, after centuries of being single I finally find a cute guy and I end up scaring him off,’ _ you joked to yourself. 

     For the first time since waking up, you realized that you were still wearing his brown leather jacket. The memory of his touch made you shiver. You pulled the old jacket closer to your body and inhaled his lingering scent. It comforted you so deeply that you failed to notice the elevator had stopped and the doors had opened.

     You took several deep breaths and kept Bucky’s jacket wrapped firmly around you before stepping out of the elevator. You cautiously exited the elevator and followed the glass hallway that lead to two large doors. As you made your way toward the doors, you noted that the temperature of the level was hotter and more humid than the rest of the tower. Your body reacted distastefully to the unusually hot temperature; you hated the heat for obvious reasons.

     You exhaled fear and inhaled bravery then opened the door…and quickly regretted it.

     A silent gasp left your lips as a huge splash of water surged towards you. It was thanks to your lightning fast reflexes that you were able to dodge it. You quickly turned and took in the room. The room had glass walls and the bright sunlight shone on the many massive pools that were in the room. There were diving boards, slides, waterfalls, hot tubs, and everything in between.  You watched as Clint climbed the high dive and dove off. You moved just in time to avoid getting wet but squeaked when you almost fell into a small pool behind you. Your soft sound of distress caught the attention of the entire team. 

     “Oh there she is! Her Majesty is up guys!” Tony announced from his spot in the hot tub. 

     You wondered if Tony was always so loud or if it was because of the margarita in his hand. You gave a bashful smile and small wave in greetings to the team. Although you hated being the center of attention, the warm smiles of the team helped ease your anxiety. You looked around the room to see who was present.

     Natasha and Wanda smiled and waved at you from where they were sitting in reclined beach chairs (a safe distance from the pools) and sunbathing. As you made your way towards them, you watched as Sam and Clint took turns jumping off the diving boards. In another pool, you watched as Steve swam laps and was very impressed by his butterfly stroke. You passed the hot tub where Bruce and Tony were relaxing and smiled as you greeted them. You were relieved when you saw that Thor, Loki, and Vision were not present.

     “Good afternoon (Y/N),” Wanda sweetly greeted, “Did you sleep well?”

     “Yes I did, thank you,” you kindly answered, choosing to ignore the fact that she had said ‘afternoon’.

     “We were worried you’d sleep through the day. Man (Y/N) you hibernate like a bear!” Clint teased.

_      ‘Well it makes sense…’ _ you thought to yourself. Apparently he had forgotten that you had lived with animals the past few hundred years.

     Tony began to tease you but you toned him out. Before your mind could wander, someone familiar caught your eye…

 

     Bucky had originally planned on not going to Tony’s stupid ‘pool party’ but after he heard that it was being held for you, the ex-assassin immediately complied.

     He wanted to see you again more than anything. Bucky had wanted to see you sooner but you had been the center of everyone’s attention and he wanted to be alone with you. Unfortunately for him, you were never alone. More importantly, he knew why. The Widow made sure you were never alone and that he never had a chance to be around you. She was like an overprotective mother bear and never left your side.  Bucky knew the Widow hated him, she had every reason to, but he wished she wouldn’t drag you into it.

     The scarlet haired woman glared daggers at Bucky the moment he entered the pool room, nonverbally demanding that he disappear and preferably never show his face again. But the ex-assassin refused to flinch at her piercing stare, he wanted to see you more than anything and would do whatever it took to see you again.  When the Widow’s glares became too much, Bucky retreated to the cover of the massive room near the pool where Steve was swimming. The ex-assassin leaned against the wall and focused on the ceiling instead of the humid temperature of the room and the sweat forming under his long sleeved shirt.

     Bucky had waited and waited for you to come and after a few hours he was afraid you wouldn’t come at all. He had endured hours of being sweaty, hungry, and bored out of his mind. Just when Bucky had almost given up hope, he heard the doors open and the light of his life walk in…

 

     You bit back a laugh when you saw Bucky. He was in the back of the room, sitting in a corner and pouting like a puppy. His eyes illuminated with emotion the moment he saw you. As Bucky walked towards you, he knew that the Widow would be at his throat if he got too close to you. But Bucky didn’t care what happened to him, as long as he got to be close to you. That’s all that mattered to him.

     Much to your protector’s displeasure, you advanced towards Bucky. A smile blossomed on your face and your cheeks flushed as you watched him approach you. Once in front of each other, you and Bucky stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity. Your eyes roamed over his fully clothed form and you wondered how he wasn’t covered in sweat. A smile stretched across the ex-assassin’s face as you examined his body. He loved being the center of your attention and welcomed your roaming eyes. 

     You suddenly realized your suggestive actions then looked up at Bucky. He knowingly smiled at you then raised an eyebrow in a teasing manner. You wanted to die from embarrassment. You began to fiddle with the end of your thigh length shirt and fidgeted in place. Bucky felt guilty for making you feel embarrassed so he decided to lighten the mood.

     “I like your jacket,” Bucky complimented.

     It took you a few moments to understand his joke but when you did, you decided to continue the tease.

     “Thank you! A very kind man gave it to me,” you replied as you pulled the jacket closer to you.

     “Who smells very lovely; for a man that is,” you teased. You and Bucky shared a laugh.

     “But I think it’d look better on him,” you softly added. You had realized you had never seen him wear the black leather jacket.

     “Nah, it suits a cute girl like you,” Bucky flirted with a wink.

     Your cheeks were set ablaze by his flirtatious reply. He was handsome, he was cute, and he was flirting with you! You were ecstatic and giddy at the thought of him having a crush on you and it set your heart into overdrive. B ecause of your flustered state, you couldn’t feel the waves of unadulterated hostility radiating from Natasha. They were unbearably intense but the super soldier managed to endure and ignore them. His attention was on you and you alone.

     “Do you like to swim?” Bucky asked after you had calmed.

     “Not really, I haven’t seen thawed water in ages,” you replied as you looked at the pools. Your statement was true but you didn’t want anyone to know that you had a deep fear for the water…

     Your answer confused Bucky since he didn’t know your whole story but he remembered you mentioned something about living in an arctic forest or something like that.

     “Do you like to swim?” you asked as you tilted your head to the side. 

     Bucky glanced down at his metal hand in reply. Granted, his metal arm was unaffected by water but he preferred to avoid exposing it to water as much as possible. You apologized for your insensitivity question but Bucky assured you he was just teasing. You shared a laugh with him.  As you stood next to Bucky and looked at the waterfall across the room, you let your mind wander, then you realized something didn’t make sense. Bucky was fully clothed, didn’t like the water, wasn’t socializing with the others, and had no intention of swimming...

     “Why are you here?” you blurted out. Your eyes widened at your rude question.

     “I-I mean, it’s pretty humid in here, you must be very uncomfortable!” you stuttered as you tried to explain what you meant.

     You were about to say something but silenced yourself when Bucky took a step closer to you. Your heart stopped when you saw the longing and desire swirling in his azure eyes. He was so close to you you could feel the warm radiating from his body.

     “Because I wanted to see you (Y/N).”

     The air was sucked from your lungs and you could hear your erratic pulse throbbing in your ears. His words came out as a gentle whisper and it filled you with the desire to be close to him. Bucky saw the yearning glowing in your eyes and wanted nothing more than to take you into his arms and never let you go.  Your lips parted when Bucky reached out to touch your cheek. Your heart threw itself against your rib cage as his finger neared your cheek. But before Bucky could even touch you, you saw a familiar flash of black and white hair. You gasped when you were suddenly swept off your feet.

     “CANNONBALL!!” Pietro yelled as he jumped in the pool with you in his arms.

     An ear shattering shriek of horror ripped itself from your throat when the water engulfed your body. You inhaled what felt like gallons of water. Your blood violently pulsed through your throbbing veins, making it feel like your entire body was going to explode. Immediately sensing your fear and mortal danger, you lost all restraints on your ice and it reacted to protect you. Within seconds of coming in contact with the water, your ice froze the entire Olympic sized pool. The team dodged your ice as it quickly scaled up the waterfalls and froze everything it's greedy fingers touched.

     Unadulterated panic surged through your flaying body as you struggled to resurface. You could see that the water around you hadn’t frozen over like the rest of the pool but no matter how you moved your body, you couldn’t reach the surface. You violently thrashed your limbs and your heart went into overdrive when you felt yourself begin to sink. You watched in horror as the light from the surface grew further and further away. You choked out a sob but in the process, swallowed even more water. The intrusive liquid burned your screaming lungs; you felt as if your chest was going to burst. You wished it would, you would rather your chest burst open than die by drowning. But you knew it would be fair if you died the same way as the little girls with bows and ribbons in their hair.

     It was karma.

     This was payback for what you had done.

     This was their revenge.

     It was only fair to die the same death as them…

    Guilt clouded your judgment and even though every fiber of your being demanded that you fight, you gave up. You exhaled what little air you had left and allowed yourself to slowly sink. Your body went numb but just before you lost all touch with reality, a strong hand grabbed your arm and a metal arm tightly wrapped itself around your waist.

     Bucky ran to you the moment he saw the sheer panic on your face before you hit the water and panicked when you didn’t resurface. Thick vines of ice began to devour the walls until the entire room was covered in ice. Bucky fought his way through the ice, desperate to reach you. Once he had reached the pool, he saw that the water around you hadn’t frozen over like the rest of the pools. Bucky feverishly punched and shattered the ice with his metal fist then dove into the freezing water without a second thought. The chlorine stung his eyes and blurred his vision, the ice covering the windows made it almost impossible to see but within a few seconds, Bucky saw your sinking form. You had sunk so far down and he knew he didn’t have much time to save you. Bucky’s heart sank when he saw you exhale what little air you had left. Just like before, when you were falling out of the window, you had given up. But Bucky wouldn’t let you have your way.

     A mighty gasp escaped Bucky when he resurfaced, his lungs greedily consumed the air they had been deprived. He panicked when you remained silent. The super soldier mustered all his strength and swam to the edge of the pool with his arm tightly around your limp body. He could see the team on the other side of the wall of ice, trying to reach out and help but Bucky had no intention of letting you go. He pulled himself out of the pool without letting you go. Bucky gently placed you down and before anyone could intervene, he immediately began performing CPR.

     He pushed down on your chest and when you were unresponsive, began to give you mouth to mouth. Bucky had wanted to buy you flowers and take you out to a fancy restaurant before kissing you but he doubted mouth to mouth resuscitation counted as a kiss. 

     “Breathe (Y/N), breathe for me,” Bucky pled, his voice was quiet but his voice trembled with panic.

     Being a super soldier, Bucky had to careful to not hurt you. Bucky’s breaths became labored when you remind unresponsive. He stared down at you as he repeatedly pressed down on your chest, every memory of you flashed through his mind. Bucky snapped at the thought of losing you.  In pure desperation, he slammed his palms onto your chest and screamed at you in Russian. The ex-assassin’s brutal push and his sudden outburst brought you back from the dead.

     Your body lunged forward as your eyes snapped open and you vomited what felt like gallons of water. Bucky gasped and gave thanks as he gently held your shaking body. Your body convulsed as you struggled to breathe and expel the water from your drowned lungs. Your body burned, your head throbbed, and your vision was blurred but you immediately recognized his touch.  You tried to say his name but your violent coughing and gasping made it impossible to form words. Luckily he knew what you wanted to say.

     “Yes (Y/N) it’s me Bucky. You’re safe now I have you,” the super soldier lulled.

     Your breaths were unstable as you tried to take in air while coughing up the water that had filled your lungs. You clung to Bucky’s body as if it were your life line. He brushed back the wet clumps of hair that had covered your face and rocked back and forth with you in his arms.

     “Breathe (Y/N), breathe for me,” his voice was calm but you could hear the hint of panic in his words. 

     Bucky pulled your arms over your head to help open your airways. The super soldier helped you regulate your breathing but the violent coughs that shook your body made it difficult to intake air. Bucky placed his hand on the small of your back and in return you arched your back, pressing your body closer to his.

     Eventually, with Bucky’s help, your breathing stabilized with only an occasional cough but nothing as serious as before. Your body slumped against Bucky’s as exhaustion consumed your trembling form. 

     Just when you had normalized your breathing, you broke down into tears. Tears of crystal ice fell from your eyes. The traumatic memories of what had just happened hit you like a bus. You clung onto Bucky’s soaked shirt and sobbed into his chest. You didn’t need to explain why you were upset, Bucky didn’t know the details but he understood what it was like to battle with traumatic memories. The ex-assassin stroked your back in a soothing, his gentle touch and the steady beat of his heart helped you calm your nerves.

     “(Y/N)!!” Natasha called out when she finally managed to (somehow) make it through the twisted wall of ice.

     “Nata-“ you were cut short when she threw her arms around you and held you tight.  You could hear her unsteady breathing and knew it wasn’t only because of having to maneuver through the spirals of ice…you had scared her.

     Bucky reluctantly released you and passed you into the arms of the Widow. Although there was tension between them, when it came to your well-being and happiness, there was no room for hatred. Bucky watched as the scarlet haired woman held you tightly and stroked your wet hair. The super soldier had never seen the Widow show her tender side. It was then he, and the rest of the team, realized just how much she cared for you.

     “(Y/N), are you alright?” Natasha tenderly questioned as she pulled back and cupped your cheeks.

     “…I-I can’t swim…” you softly confessed as you shamefully looked down, purposely avoiding eye contact.

     Natasha pulled you in for a tight embrace, comforting you and easing your embarrassment. The team surrounded the two of you but kept their distance. They loved you, but knew you were easily startled and didn’t want your ice to consume (what was left of) the pool room.  You closed your eyes and focuses on the beating of Natasha’s heart. Her arms were securely wrapped around you and you felt all your fears melt away. You had finally calmed and believed that everything was going to be alright.

     “Um, (Y/N)…” a shaky voice spoke.

     Your eyes snapped open and turned your head to face the voice and much to your horror, you saw Pietro with half of his body stuck in the frozen pool. Next to him was Clint with his foot stuck in the frozen pool. 

     For the first time since you had gone underwater, you realized that your ice had consumed the entire room. The lump of humiliation returned to your sore throat but you refused to allow it to consume you. You climbed to your feet and walked to the center of the room. The team parted to let you through, their eyes following you, eager to see if all your training had paid off; and it had.

     You closed your eyes and focused in the feeling of the ice energy flowing in your veins. Once you were attuned with the energy, you placed one foot in front of you and lightly tapped it against the floor. The team was in awe when the floor around you began to glow and a massive blossom of ice bloomed around you. You gracefully twirled and danced as you collected your ice, pulling it from the wall and back into your skin. You raised your hands above your head and began to create an orb of sparkling ice. Once all your ice had been pulled from the room, you snapped open your eyes and flared your hands, exploding the orb in the process. Your once threatening and violent vines of ice now fell down upon the room in the form of harmless snowflakes of crystal. You watched with pride shining on your face as the team marveled at the glitters of crystal falling around them.

     Bucky slowly raised his human hand to feel the crystals fall into his hand. They were cool and smooth against his calloused hand. The super soldier’s azure eyes fell upon you. You stood tall as you gazed up and marveled at how much you had progressed, the pride that shone in your eyes was captivating. Small specks of crystal had fallen onto the crown of your head and had intertwined themselves into the strands of your damp hair. It looked like you wore a crown on stars. The super soldier’s breath was taken away by how otherworldly and celestial you looked. The smile that graced your face made the ex-assassin’s heart stop.

     He wanted you in his arms. He wanted to abolish all your fears and say whatever you needed to hear to make you understand just how important you were to him.

     Bucky hadn’t socialized with you since the night he ‘officially’ met you, he had seen what your unchecked powers were capable of and wanted you to focus on your training. Also. the Widow made it completely impossible for Bucky to have a moment alone with you so the super solider was forced to admire you from a distance. But now that you a few feet away, standing near him in all your glory, he was dumbstruck. Night after night he had fantasised about you; taking you to cafes, holding your hand while walking through a garden of flowers, learning what you loved and how to make you laugh. Bucky would never tell a soul, but there were some nights he would wake up to the sound of himself moaning your name and his hand down his pants.

     There was so much he wanted to do and so much he wanted to say but for now, he was content with, once again, admire you from afar.

     Once your crystals had dissipated and their shimmer faded, you looked down and let out a quiet whine. You small noise of distress didn’t go unheard. The team turned to look at you and watched as you pinched the hem of your soaked, oversized shirt.

     “This…was the only shirt I have to sleep in,” you softly confessed. It was a shirt but it fit you more like a dress, the material reached down to your mid-thigh.

     “Isn’t that my shirt?” Sam asked with bewilderment.

     “No I’m pretty sure that’s my shirt…” Steve commented.

     “Now that you mention it, I have shirt that looks just like that…” Pietro added with a heavy accent.

     “That’s because all of you own a basic grey shirt,” Wanda sassily rebutted, solving the mystery.

     “Are you sure it’s yours?” you questioned with surprise, “Natasha gave it to me.”

     You bit back laugh as you watched all three men narrow their eyes and glare at the scarlet hair thief who casually looked in the opposite direction, knowing she had been caught red handed.

     “You don’t have anything else to wear (Y/N)?” Natasha gently asked you, ignoring the glares of the others.

     You bashfully looked away and gently shook your head, embarrassed by your lack of clothes. Much to your sorrow, the gorgeous wardrobe that you had collected over the centuries was current buried under thousands of pounds of snow.

     “I can fix that!” Tony boomed.

     Before you could react, a black leather wallet came flying towards you. You caught it just in time to save yourself from being hit by it. It fell open in your hands and was filled with several cards. You looked up at Tony (who was now standing in front of you) with a confused look staining your pretty face.

     “What? Do you prefer cash?” Tony asked shortly before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a massive roll of cash.

     You were so confused.  First of all, how did a thin card count as a form of currency? Second, why does he have so many? Lastly, who carries a wad of paper cash in their  _ swim trunks?? _

_      ‘Is he that rich?’  _ you questioned, baffled at the thought of being so wealthy. You had always lived a humble life, living a happy life with the bare necessities. Your expression fell as you remembered the old and beaten down heater that your forest friends adored…

     “Buy whatever you want sweetheart it’s all on me,” Tony proclaimed with a charming wink.

      “Take whatever car you want and go wherever you want to go,” the billionaire encouraged. Unfortunately, you were going to need a lot of encouraging.

      “I don’t know how to drive,” you blurted out.

      “I also don’t know what to buy.”

      “Or how to pay.”

      “Or where to go.”

     “What language do the people here speak? Will they understand me?” you anxiously questioned as you began to realize just how out of tune you were with society.

     Your cheeks flushed red with embarrassment and also with fear. You had isolated yourself to the desolate artic forests of Siberia, completely cut off from the world and its advancements…you felt as if you had no place in this time…you wanted to go back home to your forest…

     “Don’t worry (Y/N), you’re not alone, we’ll help you adjust,” Steve assured you as he gently placed his warm hand on your shoulder in a comforting manner. Steve wanted to let you know that he could relate to your situation on several levels but knew that would take hours, so he hoped that his kind words and comforting touch would suffice.

     The super soldier’s words did ease your worries but the fact that you had no idea how the world worked was still true. You fiddled with the hem of (Lord knows who’s) shirt and casted your eyes to the marble floor.

     “I…want someone to come with me…” you softly requested. Although you said ‘someone’, you had a very particular person in mind…

     “I’ll go with you,” Bucky responded.

     “Really?!” you chirped in excitement. A small smile stretched across Bucky’s lips as he watched your face light up. Your heart soared when he nodded in confirmation.

     “Buck…” Steve somberly called, his tone damped your mood as you feared he’d object to Bucky going with you. The ex-assassin raised an eyebrow at his friend, challenging him to ruin his ‘date’ with you.

     “Do you remember how to drive…?” Steve cautiously questioned, trying his best not to embarrass Bucky in front of you.

     “…Of course I remember how to drive!” Bucky bit back, embarrassed at how lame he might seem to you. He was telling the truth; he really did know how to drive…cars from the 40’s…

     “I’d like to walk if that’s alright,” you requested. You weren’t too fond of the idea of being in a car because of…past experiences…

_     ‘Oh thank God,’ _ Bucky thought to himself, relieved his embarrassing secret wouldn’t be exposed.

     “I’ll meet you at entrance of the tower in five minutes!” you beamed at Bucky. He nodded in agreement and watched as you frolicked out of the pool room.

     You sprinted to your room and dressed yourself in the first thing you saw. You checked your appearance in the mirror, brushed your hair, then bolted out the door. Your heart fluttered as you thought of the blissful events that were to follow. Cheeks flushed and a wide grin on your face, you ran to the handsome man waiting for you. 

     After centuries of being in isolation, you were greatly overdue for an exciting adventure.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO MY LOVELIES YES I AM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!  
> I am SO SO SO SORRY for the lack of activity but I want all of you to know that THIS SERIES WILL BE COMPLETED!! I have the entire story mapped out, all I have to do is write it. Chpts will be posted ASAP and as frequently as possible I PROMISE!!  
> Thank you to all of you who have been reading and patiently waiting for me to update, please know that it is bc of you all that I continue to write!! //KISSES FOR EVERYONE!!! ( ˘ ³˘)♥( ˘ ³˘)♥


	16. Strangers to the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m a man living out of his time.”

 

_“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”  
― _ Maya Angelou

_I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings_

 

 

     Bucky rushed to his room to get ready. He wanted to look nice since he was going to have some private time with you, but like you, he had no clothes of his own and had been borrowing the clothes of others. Bucky rummaging through his empty drawers and barren closet. He scavenged his room but found nothing he could wear. A heavy sigh of irritation left his lips. Time was ticking and the last thing he wanted was to be late. Having no other option, Bucky snuck into Sam’s room and snagged a pair of black jeans and a maroon hoodie.

     The Super Soldier cursed under his breath when he realized five minutes had come and gone. Quickly pulling his hair into a small ponytail, Bucky bolted out of Sam’s room and sprinted down the hallway.

     Bucky had just turned the corner but suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. In the middle of the glass hallway was the Widow, her arms across her chest as she glared the ex-assassin down. As much as Bucky wished he could avoid her, she was standing in between him and the elevator, trapping him. Her emerald eyes **_dared_** him to approach her. But time was ticking and Bucky needed to get to you.

     With an expressionless face, Bucky approached the woman who wanted him dead at her feet.

     The Widow’s body language mirrored that of a feral animal as the former Winter Soldier approached her. Every muscle in her body was taut, her eyes burned with a hellish hatred; all that was missing was the barring of her teeth. Despite her efforts to intimidate him and keep him from advancing and eventually walking past her.

   Bucky kept his eyes focused on the elevator and preoccupied his mind with thoughts of you. The ex-assassin felt a warmth in his hardened heart, a strange feeling that was foreign to him but was proof of his feelings for you.  

     “I’ll slit your throat if you hurt that girl.”

     Her bitter words struck a chord in Bucky’s heart. His footsteps stuttered as the Widows words rung through his head. He pressed on, not wanting to show that her words had affected him. Bucky kept his back towards the menacing woman until the doors of the elevator closed and he was left with his thoughts.

     The words of the Widow haunted him. He would never in his right mind hurt you but he was well aware that there were times that he wasn’t in the right state of mind. Bucky knew he had triggers but didn’t know what a majority of them were.

     What would happen if he was triggered with you around? Bucky’s heart stopped at the thought.

     You were growing more and more powerful everyday but no one could go toe to toe with the infamous Winter Soldier. He knew that you wouldn’t attack him, you would defend yourself and try to reason with him...but there was no reasoning with the cold-blooded Winter Soldier. Bucky considered skulking back to his room and avoiding you for the rest of his life. His heart throbbed at the thought of never seeing your smiling face again...

     Bucky was so engrossed in his toxic thoughts that he didn't realized that the doors of the elevator had opened. His dark thoughts were banished when he heard your sweet voice call his name. You were smiling as you ran to him, the sunlight coming from the windows casted a light around you, making you all the more angelic to him.

     “Are you ready?” you asked with a blinding smile. Bucky happily nodded.

     “I’m a little scared, but very excited! I can’t wait to wear clothes that actually fit me!” you cheered. You were grateful to Wanda and Natasha for letting you borrow their clothes but you were indescribably uncomfortable. The straps of the bra you wore were biting into the tender flesh of your shoulder and the only reason your skirt was still on was thanks to the multiple safety pins you had been forced to use.

     “Shall we then?” Bucky smoothly proposed. He held the massive glass door open for you then the two of you stepped out into the heart of Manhattan. And…

     You almost had a heart attack. Your ears were assaulted by the deafening noises of the bustling city around you; people hustling around talking into a small rectangular device pressed against their ears, so engrossed in their own little worlds. Music boomed from the shops surrounding you and worst of all was the blaring of the car horns.

     The number of people made your heart throw itself against your chest. After spending centuries in isolation, it was like a culture shock. Then a horrid thought entered your mind; what if someone recognized you…? A thin layer of crystal ice began to form on your fingertips but you quickly got a hold of yourself. That was impossible. Everyone who had known you was long dead. You reassured yourself that you had nothing to fear.

     Bucky had been watching you the entire time, ready to comfort you in any way you needed. You gave him a reassuring smile then began your hunt for clothes.

     ...Which was so much harder than you could have ever imagined…

     Your feet ached as dragged yourself into what felt like the hundredth shop. You had never realized just how out of your time you were until you browsed through the shops. The clothes of this century were bizarre beyond words! You were unfazed by the cold and you loved your figure but you would like to leave a little to the imagination! The blouses were practically transparent and thin as paper, the pants were full of holes, and the dresses were made of a terribly scratchy material. You had known full well that you wouldn't find any of the elegant French ball gowns you had seen the last time you were in a clothes shop but part of you wished you would be able to find something somewhat familiar.

     …You felt so out of place...and lonely...you wished someone could relate to you and share this feeling with…

     A thunderous grumble erupted from your stomach. A deep blush stained your cheeks. You sheepishly looked up at Bucky who had a very amused grin on his handsome face.

     “Are you hungry?” you asked with a laugh, trying to soothe your embarrassment with a joke.

     “I could use a bite of something,” Bucky replied, not wanting to tell you that he had been hungry since he had left the pool room.

     “What’s the best place to eat around here?” you asked as you looked around at all the different restaurants.

     “There’s a really great Mexican restaurant not far from here.”

     You whirled around to face him, your eyes wide with bewilderment. “Are they their own country now?” The confusion that stained Bucky’s handsome face made you regret your question.

     “I want to eat there!” you blurted out then scampered over the small outdoor cafe before Bucky could ask you any questions.

     Your throat burned as your mind created a thousand lies, a thousand ways to cover up the secret that had slipped from your lips. You had more secrets than hairs on your head. You had so many things to hide and as much as you wish you could be honest, you knew that you couldn't...

     You and Bucky were seated outside, the cool and gentle breeze soothed your burning soul and it was thanks to the lovely weather that you could go back to enjoying your private time with the handsome man in front of you. A kind waiter offered you a menu, which you graciously took but your dread returned as your eyes scanned over the menu. It had been centuries since you had been in an English-speaking country and even when you had lived in one for a period of time, you never really learned how to read English. You squinted as you struggled to recognize certain words. You moved your mouth as you tried to sound out the syllables.

     When the waiter returned, and asked if you were ready to order, you panicked. You fumbled with the menu as you tried with all your might to find something you recognized. Your cheeks flushed crimson with embarrassment as you continued to make a fool of yourself.

     “Two orders of blueberry pancakes with scrambled eggs and bacon please,” Bucky told the patiently waiting waiter.

     He jotted down the order, took the accursed menus, then left. When the waiter was out of earshot, you let out a shaking sigh. You shook off the thin sheet of ice that had formed on your palms and hoped Bucky didn't notice. A thick silence hung in the air around the two of you as you struggled to cope with what just happened. You had made an utter fool of yourself. Tears formed in your eyes as you doomed yourself to believing you would never recover from the embarrassment…

     Two plates of delicious food were placed in front of you. The aroma coming from the platter made you drool. Without thinking, you threw all manners out the window, and began to hork down your food.

     After your initial hunger had been satisfied, you slowed down to enjoy the flavor of your food. The pancakes were so fluffy, so sweet…and so strange. This food was not the type of food you had eaten back in your snowy forest home. You lowered your fork and slowly swallowed your food. The memories of your lost home pierced your heart like a dagger. Your eyes took in the world around you. You were living in the wrong time, the wrong world, the wrong everything…You didn’t belong here in the civilized world, you were dangerous, you belonged in exile, you didn’t-

     “It’s been a long time since I’ve had a meal like this.”

     Bucky’s soft words cleared the destructive thoughts swirling in your head. He was looking down at his half-eaten plate, with a bittersweet smile on his handsome face. His peculiar words sparked your interest. Sensing your curiosity Bucky continued.

     “I haven’t…been around…here, that is, for very long,” Bucky tried to explain, struggling to find the right words. Like you, he had to tiptoe around the truth of his past.

     “I was born here, in the States, but…then I went away for…a bit.” Bucky hoped that eighty something years could be considered ‘a bit’ so that _technically_ he wouldn’t be lying to you.

     “Has it been hard? To be gone so long from your homeland?” you carefully asked, doing your best not to sound intrusive. It was obviously a sensitive topic (for the both of you) so you knew you had to tread carefully.

     “Of course,” Bucky responded with a pained chuckle, “New York was nothing like this when I left,” Bucky added as he looked around with a pained expression staining his handsome face.

     “It’s overwhelming, I’ve been here for some time now but it’s still so difficult to cope…” his words faded as he took in the world of the twenty-first century.

     “I’m a man living out of his time.”

     Your heart swelled at his words. Bucky had just said what you had been struggling to say ever since you were forced out of your exile. You slowly reached out to him, and gently placed your hand on top of his. Bucky’s words built a bridge between the two of you.

     “You just put into words what I have been feeling ever since I came here. It’s comforting, to know that I’m not the only one who feels like this,” you told him as your thumb absentmindedly stroked the back of his hand.

     “Thank you, Bucky. You made me feel a lot better,” you graciously thanked.

     A smile bloomed on Bucky’s face as he looked down at your hand on his. You had hoped that he would take you hand into his but instead he brought your hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it.

     “My pleasure doll,” Bucky flirtatiously assured.

      Your beat red cheeks made him smirk. Seeing that you were obviously enjoying it, Bucky kissed the back of your hand again but maintained eye contact with you the entire time. Just when you thought your heart couldn’t take anymore, Bucky pulled away and gave you a cheeky wink followed by a sinfully handsome smirk. You didn’t know if it was because your heart had just exploded or because it was humanly impossible to become anymore flustered, but for whatever reason, you began to laugh. A joyous and genuine laugh sprung from your lips, then another, then another, then another, until the air of the outdoor café was filled with it.

     Bucky didn’t know why you were laughing but he was glad you were. After undergoing the pain of losing your home and past life, Bucky was happy to see you laughed and overjoyed that it was he who caused you such joy. You were beautiful when you laughed and your laughter was contagious. Bucky found it impossible to keep himself from occasionally laughing.

     Once you had composed yourself, you enjoyed the rest of your meal then continued your hunt for clothes.

     Both you and Bucky found shopping on a full stomach far more endurable and enjoyable. You had come to the personal resolution that yes, you were a person living out of their time, but you were now ready to work towards embracing the world of the twenty-first century. You had accepted the fact that you would never find anything like the clothes you used to own so you viewed the clothes in the shops with new eyes. The more you looked around, the more you began to see fashion trends you liked! You almost wept tears of joy when you learned that the women of this time didn’t wear corsets and could wear pants! The clothes offered a lot less coverage but you liked it! You always hated having to cover so much skin. You looked at the women around you and took note of just how much skin was being shown. You were happy that the women of this time could express themselves so freely but you also took note of how many men were shamelessly gawking.

     You were afraid to know if Bucky was like the rest but when you looked over to him, his intense gaze was transfixed on the price tag of a shirt. You looked over his shoulder to see what he was so perplexed about. You gasped when you saw how much a plain, black shirt was.

     “$12.99 for a basic black tee?!” you screeched. You tried to mentally convert the Russian ruble to US currency but stopped because you had no idea what you were doing.

     “Who the hell has that kind of money?” Bucky questioned, remembering that a shirt like this back in his day was a fraction of the cost.

     “Tony apparently. But gosh…$12.99 is a lot…maybe we shouldn’t buy too much. He welcomed me into his home, I’d hate to be the reason he goes bankrupt.”

     “He told you to ‘go crazy’ (Y/N),” Bucky reminded you.

     “True…” you replied, a playful look gleamed in your eyes.

     “Well…it’d be rude to look a gift horse in the mouth...” you reasoned with a grin on your face. With Bucky’s reassurance, you were eager to spoil yourself with a new wardrobe.

     You decided to get the necessities out of the way. Socks and stockings were easy to find with Bucky’s help but he insisted on waiting for you outside while you shopped in _Victoria Secret_ for bras and panties.

     You came out of the store with several bags and Bucky couldn’t help but hope that someday he’d see you wearing what was in those pink striped bags.

     The final store on the block was a massive clothing store with three floors. Bucky found some long sleeve shirts and pants that he liked but you struggled to find anything that sparked your interest. While Bucky was looking at the belts, you wandered around the store. Your eyes glossed over several displays but one immediately ensnared your attention.

     The shirt on the mannequin captured your attention and drew you closer to it. All your senses were transfixed on it. The shirt made you very uncomfortable but you didn’t know why. It was just a plain grey shirt…

     …with a blood red star…

     You gasped when the memories hit you. All the memories were a blur. They didn’t make sense. But they made paranoia and fear engulf your senses.

_…Your hands covered in blood, a snowstorm raging around you…._ your breathing became deep and labored.         

_…Blood gushing from the bullet wounds in your stomach, the sound of cracking ice…_ tears began to sting your unblinking eyes.

     … _A black figure pinning you to the ground, a knife pressed against the skin of your throat…_ every muscle in your body was as tight as a drawn bow but you were shaking like a leaf.

_…A blood red star…_ a flower of ice bloomed at your shaking feet. You couldn’t make sense of the memory but your ice perceived a threat.

     You had been pulled so far into the traumatic memories that you couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t. You heard gunshots, were they real? You heard children screaming, were they drowning or playing? You h-

     “(Y/N)!”

     The sound of your name snapped you out of your stupor and yanked you back to reality. You whirled around to face the person who had called out for you. Every muscle in your body was ready to attack, your ice patiently awaited your orders. Animalistic instinct took control of your body, in the past it had told you to run but now it screamed at you to fight. But before you could attack, two hands cupped your face, one warm, the other cool.

     “(Y/N)!”

_‘I know that voice…’_

     The hysteria that had clouded your mind dissipated, then two azure eyes came into view. It was Bucky. Embarrassment washed over you, only now did you realize that you had made a scene. You quickly recalled your ice then frantically looked around you, hoping that no one had noticed your powers. Aside from a few curious glances, no one seemed to be paying too much attention to you. A shaky breath escaped your lips.

_‘I’m such an idiot, such a fucking idiot!!’_ your inner voice screamed. Tears burned your eyes as you thought of what could have happened.

_‘How could I have been so careless?! To be triggered by a shirt and let my powers slip! What if someone from that HYDRA organization had seen me?! What if-‘_

     You were pulled from your destructive thoughts went you felt two strong arms wrap themselves around you. Gently and slowly, you were pulled closer to his warm chest. Your head rested against his chest for what felt like an eternity. You could feel the warmth of his body seep through his hoodie. You felt so safe in his arms…perhaps that’s why there were tears streaming down your cheeks. Everything was so overwhelming; having to accept you could never return home, having to adjust to a new world, having to constantly live in fear of someone of ill intent harming you…

     But right now, while you were in Bucky’s arms, you felt untouchable. Nothing and no one could ever harm you when he was by your side. Bucky had never said the words aloud, but the way he held you in his arms said it all. You allowed yourself to silently weep in his arms, not caring if anyone saw your crystalized tears.

     You were with Bucky, and you knew you were safe.

     After your tears had been spent, you inhaled courage and exhaled fear then pulled away to look at the man who had once again saved you from your demons. Bucky placed his finger under your chin and raised your head till your eyes met his. No words were spoken, but a small smile graced his handsome face. You pressed your lips together and shut your eyes, he was too perfect to be real. You reached for his hand, moved it from under your chin to against your cheek. You nuzzled into the warmth of his human hand and savored the feel of his skin against yours. Your eyes fluttered open and much to your delight, he was perfect and indeed real.

     Bucky pulled you in for a quick hug, giving you a reassuring squeeze before pulling away, encouraging you to continue looking for clothes. Bucky wrapped his strong arm around you, keeping you close to him, then proceeded to lead you to the women’s department.

     The ex-assassin looked over his shoulder, eager to find what had triggered you. His eyes fell upon the shirt you had been frozen in front of. His eyebrows narrowed when he saw the graphic on the shirt.

    “Why are you not going to get those?” you asked as you watched Bucky place several tank tops on a recovery rack.

     Bucky nonchalantly shrugged his broad shoulders, “Changed my mind,” he replied.

     If red stars triggered you, his shoulders could never be exposed. Bucky didn’t mind, it was a small price to pay.

 

     Once in the women’s section you began to look through the racks and struggled to find anything that interested you. You were so engrossed in your search for clothes, that you failed to notice that your shopping buddy had wandered off.

     “What about this?” you heard Bucky ask.

     You turned to see Bucky holding up a beautiful, white spring dress. It had a sweetheart neckline and was a little above knee length with pink and lavender embroidered roses along the neckline and at the hem of the dress. Bucky was proud of himself for finding something you liked but he almost had a heart attack when you tried to undress in the middle of the store. He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy what he saw but the thought of another man seeing what he just saw made the super soldier’s blood boil.

     Your shopping buddy led you to the ‘fitting room’, which was _apparently_ the only appropriate place to undress and try on clothes. Once inside, you tried on the dress, and fell in love. The dress flattered your figure and you looked lovely in the colors. You adored the dress and hoped Bucky would too. You called out his name while shyly hiding behind the fitting room door. The eagerness in Bucky’s eyes gave you the courage to come into full view.  

     Cupid fired several arrows straight into Bucky’s heart as soon as you came into full view. Your smile was bashful but blinding, he could see you anxiously awaiting for his opinion but the super soldier was at a total loss for words. You gave him a twirl (which didn’t help); the fabric of the dress flared and the embroidered flowers at the hem of the dress were so vibrant that they looked real, giving the illusion that you were dancing in a meadow of flowers. You continued to twirl till you were in front of Bucky. The super soldier wanted to keep you from falling so he reached out for you and unintentionally caught you by the waist.

     You were dizzy, flustered, felt beautiful, and had a handsome man’s hands on your waist. You placed your hands on his broad shoulders to steady yourself then smiled. Your faces were inches apart and Bucky had to fight against the urge to get any closer to you. The super solider mentally sighed in relief when you pulled away to show him the dress.

     “I love it, I really do,” Bucky smiled as he admired the beauty in front of him.

     “Do…you think it makes me look pretty?” you tentatively asked. You felt pretty, but you needed to hear Bucky (the only man whose opinion mattered to you) say you looked pretty.

     “You look beautiful (Y/N), you always look beautiful,” Bucky confessed, emphasizing the ‘always’. He took a step closer to you as he said this, brushing his human finger against the skin of your cheeks. Desire swirled in his azure eyes and for a split second, his eyes glanced down at your lips.

     You nervously backed away from Bucky, “Um…” you began, “thank you for showing me the dress. I’m going to get it,” you informed in a shaking voice, your eyes casted down at the space you had put between you and him.

     Without waiting for Bucky’s response, you scampered back to the privacy of your fitting room. Once the door was closed, you slumped yourself against the door and let out a deep, but shaky, sigh. You squeezed your eyes shut and let your head fall back against the door. You regretted pulling away from him so abruptly. Your reaction made it seem like Bucky had violated your personal boundaries but he hadn’t made you feel uncomfortable, just overwhelmed! After so many years of living without human contact, having such intimate interactions with such a sinfully handsome man-who seemed to fancy you- was very overwhelming! You panicked! After regaining your composure and changing out of the dress, you walked towards Bucky, ready to explain to him how you really felt.

     But it didn’t go as planned.

     You knew something was wrong by the smile he gave you. This smile was stiff and lacked the warmth of all the other smiled he had given you today. Oh, how you had taken those smiles for granted…

     There was little joy in the shopping that followed. The once relaxed and at times playful Bucky was replaced by a distant and withdrawn man. You tried to strike up a conversation many times but he always replied with a painfully short answer.

     “ ‘s nice,” he’d mutter when you asked his opinion on a blouse.

     “Get it,” Bucky would answer when you debated on whether or not to get a certain skirt.

     Bucky would back away from you if you got too close and kept his hands in the pockets of his pants. He avoided eye contact with you and his entire aura turned cold. But most of all, Bucky seemed genuinely uncomfortable, scared of making the mistake he had made earlier. You wanted to fling yourself into his arms and tell him that he didn’t make a mistake! That it was you! Not him! But every time you opened your mouth, nothing came out. Tears burned your eyes but you held them back, not wanting the innocent man beside you to feel anymore guilty. Soon, you too turned cold and distant…

     You were grateful that you were able to find everything you wanted (and more) in the last shop. Partly because you were exhausted physically and partly because you just wanted to be alone to wallow in your heartbreak. Today was supposed to be full of discovery and adventure but it was thanks to you that it turned sour. If only you could tell him! The walk to the tower was silent; the only sound coming from either of you was the sound of your footsteps and the shuffling of the multiple bags being carried.

     The elevator ride up to your rooms was wordless and suffocating. Bucky’s floor was first, you had been mentally preparing yourself the entire elevator ride, trying to decide how to best word what had happened, but when the doors to his floor opened, you were speechless. You prayed with all your heart that he would turn around and say something! Anything! Even a glance at you would suffice!

     But you got neither.

     “Goodnight,” Bucky stated, not even looking at you. He grabbed his bags, walked down the long glass hallway, then went around the corner, and disappeared.

     You let the tears fall once the elevator doors had shut. Given the emotional events of the day, you didn’t have very many tears to shed. You dragged yourself down the hallway then once in your room, you plopped down on the bed. Your exhausted body said _‘sleep’_ but your skin said _‘take a damn shower’._

     After maneuvering past all the shopping bags scattered on your floor, you undressed and got ready for a (much needed) shower. You set the nobs to your desired temperature but when you pressed the ‘on’ button, nothing happened. Perplexed, you fiddled with the other nobs and experimented with different temperature settings but no matter what you did, water wouldn’t come out of the showerhead.

     You groaned in frustration then returned to your room and rummaged through the multiple shopping bags in search of the black silk robe you had bought at _Victoria Secret_. As much as you hated to wake Natasha, you hoped that she’d let you use her shower since yours wasn’t working. You made a mental note to tell Tony first thing in the morning.

     Once the band was securely tied around your waist, you opened the door and almost had a heart attack when you almost ran into a familiar chest. You bashfully pulled the front of the robe closer to you, covering the cleavage you had been unbeknowingly showing. Unfortunately, it was a bit too tight, and the silk did nothing to conceal the outline of your breasts. Your face burned red with embarrassment but it was too late to fix anything. All you could do was hope that Bucky didn’t notice.

     “I took this by accident,” Bucky explained in a monotone voice as he held out one of your shopping bags.

     “Thank you, I was wondering where I put this,” you lied, hoping that you would somehow be able to keep the conversation going.

     “Where were you going?” Bucky asked, his voice flat.

     “I was going to ask Nat if I could use her shower. Mine isn’t working,” you explained.

     “Use mine instead,” Bucky flatly stated his offer. Your eyes widened and your cheeks flushed at his offer.

     “I’m not going to be in my room. I’m going down stairs to get something to eat,” Bucky clarified.

     You bit your lip as you thought about showering in the room of a man. It was very risqué but you felt gross from the events of the day. It was because you couldn’t stand going to bed filthy that you accepted his offer. Bucky waited for you as you got your toiletries and towel, then led you to his room.

     “Let me get the shower ready,” Bucky said as he walked past you and entered the bathroom.  His room was the opposite of your old home and your current room. It had just the necessities and you admired its simplicity. Unlike you, Bucky had actually began to organized the clothes he had bought.

     “ ‘s ready, just turn the water on whenever your ready,” Bucky told you as he walked past you.

     You moved your hand so it would brush up against his but he avidly avoided your touch. You bit down on your lip to control the breaking of your heart. Just when you were about to whirl around and tell him, Bucky locked then shut the door, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You wanted to curse at yourself but decided to leave it for another day. You were tired, felt gross, and just needed a nice, ice cold shower to relax you.

You stepped into the shower and turned on the water…but felt fire.

 

     With his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants and his thoughts in a chasm of despair, the ex-assassin made his way towards the elevator. But stopped dead in his tracks…

               _…When he heard a blood curdling scream._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you thought this chpt was emotional roller coaster just wait for the next one!! >:3c
> 
> Once again I am so sorry for the delayed updates but I want all of you to know that yes, I have the entire outline for this story mapped out and I WILL be finishing this piece!!! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و  
> I please ask for your patience! ;w;)/  
> A BIG thank you to everyone who has been sending me lovely messages and giving me kudos! I appreciate and love every last one of my readers!!! Thank you so much everyone!!! ( ˘ ³˘)♥  
> Like I said, next chpt is gonna be a doozy so buckle your seatbelts ladies and gents! >:3
> 
> Additional Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) do not own Victoria Secret or anything relating to the company

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovelies! (ﾉ∀`♥)  
> My English isn't that good so I'm sorry if anything is a bit off!  
> Thank you for reading!!♥♥
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything Marvel related, nor any other work of fiction that might have been mentioned in this series, lastly I do not own you the reader, (all of you are lovely, strong, and independent!!)  
> I own nothing but my writing which is a work of fiction.


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